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AIBU?

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Original poster

Siblings and inheritance

115 replies

ShawleyNot · 26/08/2023 00:00

Posting for advice/opinions/ anything really. My dad passed away many years ago and everything went to mum. My sister (plus her husband and two children) moved back to the family home during lockdown - was supposed to be temporary but became permanent. They moved for financial reasons at the time but since found jobs and are earning money... and just stayed, it worked for them so no one questioned it.
My mum passed away earlier this week and the Will says that everything is split between me and my sister. There's not a lot apart from the house, but she is insisting that mum wanted her to have it and live in it and we can't sell it.
What rights do I have? On one hand id feel completely awful to kick her out, on the other hand she can afford to rent or her half if we sold it would pay for a sizeable deposit, but she's insisting she needs to stay.
I don't "need" the money but we're not particularly well off.

OP posts:
Poppyblush · 26/08/2023 04:35

She’s being a cf.

daisychain01 · 26/08/2023 04:40

Your DSis is the very reason why Wills are legally binding, so that greedy relatives don't get to dictate what a deceased loved one "wanted". Funny how that's always to the benefit of the person being greedy and never the other way around.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/08/2023 05:38

daisychain01 · 26/08/2023 04:40

Your DSis is the very reason why Wills are legally binding, so that greedy relatives don't get to dictate what a deceased loved one "wanted". Funny how that's always to the benefit of the person being greedy and never the other way around.

Succinctly put. I am sorry for your loss op. The advice to leave it for now and let solicitors sort it out later is good.

FarEast · 26/08/2023 05:47

Your sister is acting unethically and selfishly.

You need to get two or three sensible market estimates of the value of the house and then she needs to buy you out of your half. Or you get an estimate from an estate agent of a market rent and she needs to pay rent.

Simplest is to sell it. Your sister would then have a substantial deposit for buying a house of her own rather than stealing half of one from you.

2jacqi · 26/08/2023 06:31

you are definitely going to fall out with your sister. the will has not been changed to benefit her and therefore the house has to be sold. who is the executor?? a solicitor needs to be invoved. it wont cost much and is deductible from the proceeds if sale. It is up to the executor to ensure that the wishes of your mother are followed through. It is amazing the number of people who think they can claim a house just by moving in and she moved in when your mum was vulnerable!!

JustMarriedBecca · 26/08/2023 06:37

World of difference between "I do hope you manage to stay living here" (by buying out your sister and getting a mortgage) than changing her legal will to give everything to one sibling.

I can see this happening in our wider family in a few years. Makes me super uncomfortable as to the fallout.

Pipsquiggle · 26/08/2023 06:41

She's being a CF.

She either buys you out or the house gets sold.

Get the lawyers to sort it.

TheaBrandt · 26/08/2023 06:44

Your mum could have given your sister a right of occupation in the Will for a fixed period that ends and house is then divided between you but she chose not to. Legally the house is half yours.

mangochops · 26/08/2023 06:51

daisychain01 · 26/08/2023 04:40

Your DSis is the very reason why Wills are legally binding, so that greedy relatives don't get to dictate what a deceased loved one "wanted". Funny how that's always to the benefit of the person being greedy and never the other way around.

This. Verbal agreements (if they even existed in the first place) mean absolutely nothing when someone dies. If its not in the will, it cannot legally happen. If the deceased felt it was that important then they should have re-written their will to reflect that but they didnt so it brings into question how truthful this claim even is in the first place.

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 26/08/2023 06:54

Dependency is a way to challenge a Will. Whether you Dsis has enough of a claim, I wouldn’t know

Positive41 · 26/08/2023 07:11

Sorry for your loss.

Speak to a lawyer and make sure you get what is yours.

I have a sibling like this. She's so entitled and I know she has taken advantage of my mum financially for the sake of herself and her family.

Either she buys you out/pays you rent but whatever you do, get it all done legally.

Daleksatemyshed · 26/08/2023 07:31

I know you don't want to fall out with your Sister but she's being greedy. Her family have lived rent free and she's got used to it but that was your DM's choice, now it's different. Get legal help to enact the will and probate and don't feel guilty, she didn't move in for your DM's benefit and she doesn't deserve to get more than you

Mum5net · 26/08/2023 07:34

Sorry for your loss.
She was quick off the mark and probably had this outcome planned since moving in.
Don’t let her destroy the will.
DMs solicitor will probably have copy but it will delay matters.
Valuation is normally at date of death. Even if it takes a while I’m sure you will get what your parents wanted.

SunRainStorm · 26/08/2023 07:41

daisychain01 · 26/08/2023 04:40

Your DSis is the very reason why Wills are legally binding, so that greedy relatives don't get to dictate what a deceased loved one "wanted". Funny how that's always to the benefit of the person being greedy and never the other way around.

Exactly.

If there is a fall out over this estate it will be your sisters doing, not yours.

Original poster
ShawleyNot · 26/08/2023 07:44

Thank youeveryone for your sensible and kind advice, which (strangely for Mumsnet) seems unanimous. The thing that's been tugging at my heartstrings is that she said "mum wanted me to have it until the kids were older". The PP who said that actually this could have meant that she should buy me out has given me so much peace of mind. I know you are all right that the will is the thing we must go by. However I know my mum wouldn't have want led me disadvantaged and also I know she wouldn't have wanted my sister to be anxious and lose her home. Unlltimstely she wouldn't want us to fight so I think we need to figure out how to do this

OP posts:
Original poster
ShawleyNot · 26/08/2023 07:46

BasiliskStare · 26/08/2023 02:16

I am sorry to hear about your mum. Very sad

To your post and what are your rights - they are exactly what your mother stipulated in her will - she wanted you to have half of what she had including the house. Just get the will with a solicitor and they can tell tell Dsis she can buy out your half or it is sold. Given she is living there I suspect she won't make it easy - but given how she is acting there isn't a way in a month of Sundays I would rent my half to them - I would bet the farm you'll never see the rent for her half.

Horrid situation , but were it me I would just get the solicitor to explain half the house inter alia is yours and so she needs to buy you out or it is sold. I suspect it will be a rocky time but stick out for the sale or her buying your half . That is what I would do.

How horrid you are having to deal with this as well as losing your Mum
All the very best to you

Thank you for this. I think you are right about the renting thing. I hadn't thought about it. Although it does "feel" like a reasonable compromise you are right, I wouldn't see a penny.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 26/08/2023 07:47

lapsedbookworm · 26/08/2023 00:36

They either rent your half from you or it gets sold. Anything else isn't fair. I'd tell them you are allowing them a couple of months to get used to the idea and decide which option they prefer?

That's ridiculous idea. Why would she want to rent half a house to her sister when her sister think she's entitled to the whole thing? The only thing to do is to sell it.

Meredusoleil · 26/08/2023 07:48

Hope you get it sorted OP.

My sibling did something similar to me (except my parent had already signed the house over within 6 months of their death and apparently there was no 50/50 will to apply after that).

I have never forgiven them for what they did and will never forget. We have no contact now as a result.

11plusmush · 26/08/2023 07:54

Op unfortunately by the time the children are older they will be so attached to the house....

You definitely need to keep it clear and above board and make sure you get your inheritance.

And do it legally.

They can buy you out.

Molehillminnie · 26/08/2023 07:55

You need to get angry. How dare your sister try and steal from you and yours? You are as entitled to that house as she is! You could always go and move in as well 🤣

Dropthedonkey · 26/08/2023 08:00

Please bear in mind the OP's mum passed away this week and it's very early to be ordering the removals vans. Give them a chance to have a funeral and come round to the idea that things have to change.

billy1966 · 26/08/2023 08:07

Your sister is trying to deprive your children/family of this money.

The house needs to be sold.

If she wants to fall out with you, that is on her.

Do not be manipulated by her.

GRex · 26/08/2023 08:08

Just stay calm with "Yes it would be lovely if you can all stay there, let's get the valuations done so you can arrange a mortgage to buy out my share." To be nice to her, you could recommend an IFA to help them work out mortgage deals to buy you out. If two adults have jobs, hopefully they can afford 50% of the house.

GRex · 26/08/2023 08:09

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope the funeral brings you all some peace.

Cheerfulcharlie · 26/08/2023 08:11

How many years is it until the kids are ‘older’?

If you do want to work something out rather than insisting on a sale / buyout (which of course you could) the other option is she pays you rent. Practically- is she going to pay it each month or will it be awkward chasing her? Is there a legal way you could add rent payable over the period (plus interest) to your half of the property so you get more when the house eventually sells?

Perhaps you could give her a few options if you wanted to be accommodating, but you shouldn’t have to lose out.