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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I hate BILs strange controlling behaviour!

1 reply

Fatnotepad · 24/08/2023 13:21

I know everyone is controlling at times but some people seem to take to a weird petty place.

My BIL seems to have a pathological need to dominate everything. Whenever we plan family meet ups he will ignore any direct questions. Other family members will then come up with plans and then he always finds a way they don’t suit him. If asked directly to contribute to ideas he will flounce and then try and cover the flounce with some story about stressful work or family situation. He seems to always want to feel like the most important person who is far to busy to contribute but has to have his detailed needs taken into account.

When we do meet up he continues the strange behaviour. He is always late because of some minor crisis or another. If you are enjoying a nice chat with his partner he will always interrupt and try and get her attention.

I have got to the stage where I will directly tell him off for interrupting as it drives me crazy. We used to have him and his family stay but have stopped inviting them because there is always some drama. He will take ill in the middle of a visit or always be hours late. He tries to make you wait on him hand and foot and is such a fuss pot.

Despite all of this I do like him. He’s not a horrible person but these habits are so irritating. It’s like he has to be the centre of attention at all times like a toddler! My husband also feels the same.

The thing is the behaviour is so unnecessary and often makes the situation worse for him. Why do some people behave like this? It’s so strange!

OP posts:
cerisepanther73 · 28/12/2023 10:26

@Fatnotepad
Your brother in law has some or lots of insecurities
he needs to feel he is much more important than in reality he really is,

That's extremely good word to use Pathological to describe some one needs to dominate excessively,

He needs to create an imaginary drama for people 🙄 to second guess themselves and for his own sense of fragile ego distractions, and neediness like a spolt brat needing to be centre of attention,

He sounds extremely irritating like grit chaffing your skin ,annoying as hell.

It's just aswell you think 🤔 a lot world of him as i can amagine other people wouldn't find as equa

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