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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Saying No to sleepovers

79 replies

whereswallyhidingtoday · 24/08/2023 12:40

Does it make me a bad person if I say no to sleepovers?

My son is five and he starts year 1 in September, he's very much looking forward to it and he's making me send pictures to everyone we know of his "big boy clothes" as he calls it. I've met a few of the parents of the children in his class this year and one Mum is very big on sleepovers even though I've politely declined many times.

I've no objection to play-dates, birthday/halloween/easter parties or going round for tea ocassionally but this Mum will not stop. And to me its coming across as rather odd, I dont know how many times I can say No. I'm not withholding sleepovers forever just for a few years. I know we all parent in our own ways and I'd never tell her how to raise her child but she's telling me Im traumatising my son (how?) and stunting his development (again.. how?) my child is very social but trusts adults too easily, which is something I'm working on with him

What can I say to this woman so she'll understand me?

AIBU im not letting my son have sleepovers?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/08/2023 08:35

God no- my 5yr old asked a lot and I said no, because I don’t want you sleeping away and I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s child overnight.
my idea of hell

most little kids love the idea but would probably freak out around bedtime and want to go home anyway.

I know I’m going to get slammed for stereotyping but is the pushy mothers child an only child and she pushing this idea to give him a playmate in the evening?

billy1966 · 25/08/2023 09:13

Absolutely not.

I would consider her persistence and interference a huge red flag and I would step away.

Her opinion of your parenting is very rude and inappropriate.

There is no way I would leave my child in her care.

Sleepovers were never a thing but my youngest had a few from about 10 years old with close friends.

jelly79 · 25/08/2023 12:20

My DS is going to y2 and it wouldn't even enter my head. Absolutely not

ThisOldTrout · 19/02/2024 15:39

Very odd of this parent. You have said no and she is pushing, sounds very coercive. I had a similar problem with a neighbour who kept pushing to take my child to an evangelical church holiday club which I declined as I felt it went against our own values, she eas very persuasive about saving us! You have said no and that should be respected. 5 is far too young to be away from home at night, maybe the only people you might allow such an arrangement with is Grandparents if you feel happy about that. Tbh I think secondary age is soon enough for sleepovers and only then if you are happy about the arrangements and the set up and that your child can ring you and come home if they arnt happy. Restrict your little one to after school playmates for a couple of hours at yours or theirs if you feel happy and your child wants the interaction otherwise decline. Its always OK to say no.

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