To tell friend to stop making me look enormous

[caffelattetogo]

This is petty I realise, but it's getting me down.
Friend and I both had babies at a similar time and started losing weight together. She gave up and I carried on. I'm almost at my goal, having lost a few stone, and she is still where she started, maybe a bit heavier.
When we go on days out she'll suggest a selfie or ask a passer-by to get a photo of us and our kids, as a memento of the day. Every single time she will stand behind me, often quite a way behind, so I look bigger than her. My head is literally twice the size, and my body hides most of hers. I've tried jokingly getting her to stand level with me, but she always shuffles back as the photo is taken, apparently so we look 'the same size'.
AIBU to refuse to have any more photos with her, as I think this is a mean trick?

"hey friend, I don't like that photo of me can you take it down please?"

No good friend should ever say no to that question.

Your poor friend isn't being mean, more insecure about her looks. It sounds as if, despite your weight loss, you still feel quite insecure about your appearance too if you're worried about looking "huge"
How do you feel about photos of just you or where other random people are some way away in the background?
It might be worth having a conversation with her, explaining your ongoing insecurity and asking her not to share photos of you on SM unless you're comfortable with them. She probably thinks you're happy to show off your slimmer figure.

I think it’s about both of them to be honest. Both insecure. I mean unless you’ve always got your photo taken from a distance and hiding somewhat then you look like you look like.

The way you worded it all is so hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 really did make me chuckle.

Thanks for the trick!!

I agree with Off. She doesn't want to make you look larger, she is just very self conscious.

so glad it wasn’t just me thinking this!!
She sounds a bit annoying, like I get it if she’s uncomfortable or insecure but she’s the one requesting the photos!!
My sister does similar sometimes, in a way, except she’s 6 inches shorter than me and whippet thin whereas I’m certainly not fat but I’m a 12 to her 6, so when she stands downhill to me or slightly back for whatever reason in a photo, I look like a giant 🤣

How vacuous.

It’s more than likely not to make you look bigger.

whenever I’m in group pictures I Bob down in order to look UP into the camera, to minimise my many chins. It’s not to make everyone else look like 10 foot giants.

Pick locations where she can’t back away, like a wall, fence, etc. and refuse locations where she can. Done.

Ask her not to put your pic on social media.

You sound insecure. If your head is twice as big as hers in the photo then nobody will see you as fat. People can look at a picture and understand the concepts of depth and perspective. She's obviously doing it because she is self conscious but you also sound quite vain.

Whilst it's coming from her own insecurities, that doesn't mean you always have to take the fallout from that. If she's a good friend, address it directly "You standing so far back always makes me look massive. Shall we stop the photos for a while if you don't want to stand side by side?" Or offer to take one of her by herself.

Take a selfie , just you, and add it to her feed in the comments with we had a great day. Nothing else.

No one believes SM photos. I'm seriously underweight due to illness. You'd never know from my social media. Coats, floaty cardigans and clever angles hide a multitude of sins. I have an NJ and that is never visible.

I have a neice whose photos make her look no bigger than a size ten. I see her regularly and she is at least an 18/20. I think a lot will be shocked when they bump into her in real life.
Try to reframe it as a nice thing you're doing for your DF who is struggling with her insecurities.

Who's interested in other peoples photos of themselves unless they are exceptionally attractive and well dressed or are of child relatives or their pets?

Two women standing in a field, outside a shop or wherever, in their daily attire isn't going to get much attention or notice so you are worrying unduly.

This sounds completely bonkers and vacuous in all respects. Why do you care? You weigh what you weigh. Your friend sounds really insecure, in which case she should do something about it just as you have done. . If it really bothers you that much just say “I’d love a photo to remember our day, but could we not have another weird one where your standing miles behind me?”

I had a friend like this. She used to take photos and put all the ones on of us where she looked smaller. we were a similar size although she had lost a lot of weight by this point. It got to the point other friends picked up on it. I could never comprehend why she was putting awful pics on of me where she looked a million dollars ... turns out she was friends on socials with my ex and trying to shag him.. or maybe she didn't get that far 🤷‍♀️ I stopped speaking before I found out the ins and outs. I found out accidentally by a girl who used to do my nails who also found our accidentally.
It's very annoying just stop getting your pic took with her x

This,. She's very self conscious. Congratulations on your weight loss

I doubt you do actually look bigger than her - your body proportion will surely look very different from hers!

“I’d love a photo to remember our day, but could we not have another weird one where your standing miles behind me?”

Yes, this is perfect.

This

Just say you don't want your photo taken.
I hate having my photo taken and just refuse. Tough if people don't like it.
I don't want photos of me put on social media or instagram or wherever where I have no control over who sees it.

I did not know this was a thing

Malicious use of tagged/shared photos has long been a thing.

The malice varies in severity, of course.

Could you not put your arm around her shoulders when you are side by side and then when she goes to shuffle to the back, grab her tightly, sort of like a head lock and keep her there till the photo has been taken.