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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"You guys"

118 replies

BadMotorhomeParent · 21/08/2023 18:19

I hope it isn't only me, and of course, our team of women were fantastic (note: I am not really a football follower - but did watch lot of the match yesterday), BUT, I really hated it this morning when (R4) a message of support and congratulations was broadcast (by the writer of Bend it Like Beckham I believe) and I lost count of how many times she said "You guys"......

If there was ever less of an example of a bunch of guys, it would be when referring to a team comprised 100% of women!

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 21/08/2023 18:24

I know some women hate it so I try to avoid using it but it doesn’t bother me personally. It’s just an expression like mankind - not to be taken literally.

malmi · 21/08/2023 18:51

Guy is traditionally used to refer to a man but it is slowly becoming neutral when used in the plural and then just means people. It comes from Guy Fawkes who was a person.

SoShallINever · 21/08/2023 18:52

Oh come on. Can't get worked up about this.

AperfectMess · 21/08/2023 18:54

I would take it as meaning both, abit like the American OTT teen "you guys!"

TyneTeas · 21/08/2023 18:54

You will get a different response though if you ask a heterosexual bloke how many people he has has sex with or how many guys he has has sex with.

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 21/08/2023 18:57

I went for a meal with my mother and the waitress kept saying things like "can I get you guys anything else?", "everything ok with you guys?" and every time she left, my mother had a right old rant about being referred to as guys when we're clearly both females. That was a long meal 😬

AperfectMess · 21/08/2023 19:05

@YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan

I went for a meal with my mother and the waitress kept saying things like "can I get you guys anything else?", "everything ok with you guys?" and every time she left, my mother had a right old rant about being referred to as guys when we're clearly both females. That was a long meal 😬

Oh I can but imagine, mine has been revelling in telling me how tired I look at every available opportunity!

BiscuitsandPuffin · 21/08/2023 19:10

Utterly preopsterous thing to get worked up about. Can't wait until one of the English versions of "vous" catches on across the whole UK and everyone loses their mind over being called youse or y'all.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2023 19:13

What if he kept saying "You ladies." Bet you wouldn't like that, either.

TheBarbieEffect · 21/08/2023 19:14

Oh for gods sake. Stop looking for reasons to be offended.

AffIt · 21/08/2023 19:15

I tend to use 'folks'.

I am very jealous of my American colleagues who can use 'y'all' without a hint or irony.

Phos · 21/08/2023 19:15

I am so fed up of people getting worked up over semantics and word choice. David Beckham under fire for calling them "girls", R4 for using "guys"

To be honest I use guys a lot for a mixed group. Probably wouldn't naturally do so when talking about a group of females... but at the same time, now I think about it, I might naturally say "come on guys" to a group of female mates because it's just a term that's come into use as a more unisex one. Language evolves. Mind you, I also call my two best mates (females) "men" because they're Geordies and use "man" all the time so yeah men.

Doggymummar · 21/08/2023 19:15

It doesn't bother me in the slightest

TheSmallAssassin · 21/08/2023 19:16

I don't mind guys socially, but this is one of the cases where it really gets my goat, in a traditionally male dominated profession (like mine) or sport, it makes me feel like either I don't exist or I have to be "one of the guys". It's so tone deaf!

Original poster
BadMotorhomeParent · 21/08/2023 19:19

If this came across as being "worked up" about it, then the bar must be low.

I think it's ridiculous, incorrect (if we are to believe that "guys" are actually men), and lazy - that's all.

"Ladies" would not have been bad at all. That is, after all, what they are.

But honestly....not worked up at all.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 21/08/2023 19:20

I bloody hate it but if I am called "guys" in a work meeting ( mixed sex) I look at my curves , hoist my bosom and say "Guys 'n' Gals"

I don't make it an "I'm offended" thing but I make a quip about it .

WaxhamSeals · 21/08/2023 19:20

I hate being referred to as a “guy” or “you guys”. I’m obviously a woman.
No problem with “youse” or “y’all” which aren’t gendered.

itsmyp4rty · 21/08/2023 19:21

To me 'guys' in that context is just informal and means a group of people. 'You ladies' would sound pretentious, 'you women' is very clunky whereas 'you guys' just sounds friendly and informal to my ears.

MoralOrLegal · 21/08/2023 19:22

BiscuitsandPuffin · 21/08/2023 19:10

Utterly preopsterous thing to get worked up about. Can't wait until one of the English versions of "vous" catches on across the whole UK and everyone loses their mind over being called youse or y'all.

It already has... it's "you." We lost "thou" (the 'tu' equivalent) instead!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 21/08/2023 19:22

Mind you , I also dislike the phrase cannot get worked up about this/couldn't get worker up about this which is tooth grindingly prevelant on MN !

hauntedvagina · 21/08/2023 19:23

Honestly thought this was going to be a thread about The Goonies.

JaninaDuszejko · 21/08/2023 19:25

Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2023 19:13

What if he kept saying "You ladies." Bet you wouldn't like that, either.

Gurinder Chadha is very much female. No man would have made a film about a girl's football team in 2002.

As someone as pointed out 'guys' is like 'mankind', an old fashioned phrase that pretends to mean everyone but actually excludes the majority of people.

If I said 'oh, I saw Emma with some guy' you wouldn't think Emma was woth a female. Guy = man, guys = men.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 21/08/2023 19:25

I've been away with cadets and started saying you girls, and when asked just said why should guys be the default lol

It opened up some really good conversations about female leadership

Raquelos · 21/08/2023 19:26

Generally, I have a limited amount of fucks available to give in life and I am not wasting one on this total non-issue.

Tiqtaq · 21/08/2023 19:28

I dislike being called Mate by men

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