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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"You guys"

118 replies

BadMotorhomeParent · 21/08/2023 18:19

I hope it isn't only me, and of course, our team of women were fantastic (note: I am not really a football follower - but did watch lot of the match yesterday), BUT, I really hated it this morning when (R4) a message of support and congratulations was broadcast (by the writer of Bend it Like Beckham I believe) and I lost count of how many times she said "You guys"......

If there was ever less of an example of a bunch of guys, it would be when referring to a team comprised 100% of women!

OP posts:
BadBadDecisions · 21/08/2023 20:16

I think it's a gender neutral term now.

I LOVE y'all and am determined to make it work in my Scottish accent.

ChilliPB · 21/08/2023 20:16

ChilliPB · 21/08/2023 20:16

I don’t mind it at all. There’s no right answer. I’m sure some people don’t like it but equally others wouldn’t like being called “ladies” or whatever. Language changes and ‘guys’ is IMO gender neutral now.

In Scotland you get called ‘pal’ as in, “Alright pal?” Or “That’ll be two quid, pal.”
In Ireland you get ‘lads’. I did laugh when I went into somewhere with my Mum and the you BFF waiter said “Table for two lads?”

the young waiter

Wexone · 21/08/2023 20:17

doesn't bother me in the slightest..get it mostly from us colleges male and female
my pet hate one is folks I dunno why but when I see a mail saying hi folks etc or someone says folks in a meeting it really grinds me

BalletBob · 21/08/2023 20:17

Language constantly evolves 🤷‍♀️ In most contexts, "you guys" is now a completely neutral term. In some contexts, clearly "guy" = man (as in the example "how many guys have you slept with" from a PP). But when referring to a group of people - whether male, female or mixed - guys is neutral nowadays.

I'm not in the business of letting people police my language so I wouldn't be deterred from using "guys", which has developed into a neutral colloquialism, because someone else may resist the tides of change and choose to be offended.

FatBurger · 21/08/2023 20:18

I find "ladies" and "girls" much more offensive that "guys". Ladies I feel has connotations of deportment and expectations of behaviour. Girls is infantilising. Personally I see guys and folks are about as close as you get to a generic group term.

Hufflepods · 21/08/2023 20:19

our team of women were fantastic

But of a narrow view, no? Ironic given you’re moaning about the use of a word.

largeprintagathachristie · 21/08/2023 20:20

I use guys occasionally for a mixed group.

mondaytosunday · 21/08/2023 20:28

I grew up in the States and use this a lot. 'You guys' is gender neutral.

FatBurger · 21/08/2023 20:29

Riapia · 21/08/2023 20:03

When out with a group of friends would it be a guys night out.
If you were all female.

Show quote history

Depends who exactly. Same-sex groups I go out with are:

The work crew
School mums (we are all mums, from school)
Jemma and the guys (all female)

I would never, ever, ever say "I'm going out with the girls" or "ladies night" and have very very strong objections, which I voice, if described as either!

FatBurger · 21/08/2023 20:29

Guy = male
Guys = gender non specific

CurlewKate · 21/08/2023 20:30

"because someone else may resist the tides of change and choose to be offended."

I neither resist change or am offended . I just wish that just once "unisex" meant men adopting a woman's thing. Just once.

MumUndone · 21/08/2023 20:31

Oh I hate it when people say 'ladies' as I find it so twee. I much prefer 'guys' and don't think of it as male at all, it now just means 'people' in common parlance.

violetfern · 21/08/2023 20:43

I constantly call my 2 daughters (3 and 1) 'guys'- 'shoes on guys etc etc' My husband hates it but it just seems to come out! For me it's a collective for a group of people 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
BadMotorhomeParent · 21/08/2023 21:44

Hufflepods · 21/08/2023 20:19

our team of women were fantastic

But of a narrow view, no? Ironic given you’re moaning about the use of a word.

How is that narrow. They were fantastic, weren't they.....

OP posts:
PurpleButterflyWings · 21/08/2023 21:50

Couldn't get worked up about this tbh. I always call people 'guys...' 🤷🏽

PurpleButterflyWings · 21/08/2023 21:52

MumUndone · 21/08/2023 20:31

Oh I hate it when people say 'ladies' as I find it so twee. I much prefer 'guys' and don't think of it as male at all, it now just means 'people' in common parlance.

LAYDEEES is grim! Confused Almost always guaranteed it's a MAN too. 'Ladies' or 'females...' BLEURGH!!!! 🤢

willingtolearn · 21/08/2023 21:53

You need to watch The Goonies.

PurpleButterflyWings · 21/08/2023 21:57
The Goonies Sloth GIF

Ahhh great film! Grin

KarmaStar · 21/08/2023 22:17

What a happy soul you are.😂😂😂

SoftFootballSkills · 21/08/2023 22:27

You're absolutely right OP. Couldn't agree more.

Liverpudlians say "yous". That's perfect. Wish it would catch on. Informal, friendly and gender-neutral.

Doyoumind · 21/08/2023 22:30

Yous is not perfect! Quite the opposite.

Blanketpolicy · 21/08/2023 22:43

I am absolutely ok with and use the word guys myself and see it now as unisex.

If the alternative is "gals" I'll stick firmly with guys. Something about that word that just sounds harsher and less friendly to me.

Iphianassa · 21/08/2023 22:59

I am old and used to being thought of as the second sex. Male as default, “man embraces women”, and so on, etc.

“Guys” does not include me. “Women” or “people” does.

I’m a secondary school teacher. If I were addressing a school group I might say “everyone” “y9” “people” or perhaps “class.”
I probably wouldn’t say “girls” and/or “boys” unless they were y7 or perhaps y8. I might say “ladies” or “gentlemen” in a very slightly chastising way up to y11 (eg “hurry up, ladies”).

I have a colleague who says “peeps” (short for people?) but I find that a bit twee.

Iphianassa · 21/08/2023 23:06

@Blanketpolicy , showing my age again, but “Guys and Gals” reminds me strongly of Jimmy Saville. Ugh!

I prefer “Gals” to “Guys” but like neither when referring to groups of women.

AmazingSnakeHead · 21/08/2023 23:11

In my book, "guys" is gender neutral. But then again, so is "dude". I once had to endure a male senior colleague explain to me why it was sexist to use "guys" to refer to a mixed group. I told him I thought that men policing how women refer to one another was sexist.