To think a family of 5 can’t survive on 25k take home?

[Backpainagain]

Just that really. We are f**ed.

Ffs- really?

To little info. Why have you got 5 kids if you can't afford them. Do you work? If not - why not.

Yet another judgemental reply

Is it that far a stretch for those snippy posters to think that the op may have had 2 incomes and could afford her children but one of them has now lost their job .

Can everyone please refrain from making judgemental posts? We have no idea about the OP’s circumstances, so perhaps helpful posts only?

Family of 5. That's probably 3 children, possibly 4. Wouldn't be 5.

@PurpleMonkeys
I guess what women can do is ask the question "how many children can I support on my own should the need arrive? For me that informed the decision of how many children at a maximum, that I should have. It did nor require me to have a crystal ball. I knew that I could manage on my own in the event of separate, divorce, etc

Obviously, things like illness, loss of employment are harder to anticipate, but the usual problems are easy enough to anticipate.

For women the problem often is that they willingly have children without ever having prepared to adequately support the children that they have. All too often women on MN say that they can't leave because they are financially dependent. Much of that comes from poor planning and lack of forward thinking preparation.

@PurpleMonkeys
I guess what women can do is ask the question "how many children can I support on my own should the need arrive? For me that informed the decision of how many children at a maximum, that I should have. It did nor require me to have a crystal ball. I knew that I could manage on my own in the event of separate, divorce, etc

Obviously, things like illness, loss of employment are harder to anticipate, but the usual problems are easy enough to anticipate.

For women the problem often is that they willingly have children without ever having prepared to adequately support the children that they have. All too often women on MN say that they can't leave because they are financially dependent. Much of that comes from poor planning and lack of forward thinking preparation.

Depends on your situation. If it’s due to one adult losing their job, they can get another, then problem solved. I’m guessing that you haven’t always been on £25k and just woke up today to the realisation you can’t manage, so assume something recent has happened?

"For women the problem often is that they willingly have children without ever having prepared to adequately support the children that they have."

Wow.

I hope you continue being so fortuitous, others have not been.
Others have planned and prepared and still had to deal with illness, death, disability and that has changed their life from what they planned, to what they have. Let us hop it does not happen to you, or you may remember your sanctimonious posts on here and cringe yourself inside out.

@PurpleMonkeys
Life happens to all of us, but that is no excuse for lack of proper planning. In my post I acknowledge that some things happen for which there is no planning. However, most of what is described on MN falls into the eminently foreseeable categories.

I have had my share of life issues, but I have learned that many of those issues could have been prevented with better planning on my part.

Some of the replies on your this thread are so judgemental! Do people on minimum wage not deserve to procreate, are they just there to serve not live?

@Sallyh87
People on every income level can and usually do procreate. Does your income liberate you from the obligation to make responsible decisions?

Myself and my 4 kids managed on £25k, it was hard. I prayed that nothing broke and the kids didn't need new shoes. Food budget was £50 p/w but this was 2017 and only shopped in Lidl.

Ridiculous...over 100 posts and the op hasn't even been back.

Only those with the power to forsee may procreate. Of you've only got a job paying £12k a year, keep your chastity belt locked on.
If you're pregnant, but you're OH fucks off and you lose your job, you'd better get yourself off to the nunnery...

Some people are so blinded by their own luck and pig headed beliefs that they can't see what their spouting is utter bollocks.

I helped a woman last year who had 4 kids. Her husband was financially controlling told her he earned £150k a year, he didn't, he earned £60k and the rest was credit cards ,loans, mortgages.

He died suddenly in an accident. She was left alone with 4 under 10s, 3 houses with mortgages and a further £40k of debt.

There is no way she could have foreseen him dying. She had no clue about the debt and problems. Her secure life that she brought 4 kids into was ripped away from her.

I met her 2 years after her oh died, helped her through the benefit system and got her sorted.

She ended up running social media for a local company, renting a small home, modest income but happy and managing the fallout.

There is NO ONE that could have foreseen what happened to her and HUNDREDS like her, no matter what some with cushy little lives say.

Livign with family without mortgage, utilities and nursery fees. Sure.

Living in London while renting a 3 bed flat and kids in nursery. Nope.

My income is indicative of how lucky I am. I grew up in a middle earning family, I was encouraged and funded to go to university and I therefore now am in a high earning position.

Not everyone is so fortunate but are still valuable members of society.

@Sallyh87
I agree that value is not determined by income. Value is determined by our character and behavior.

Not many people, male or female, can support a child on their own. Depending on where you'd live you'd need around £3k per month minimum at the very lowest end to pay for full time childcare, mortgage/rent and basic bills.

And why the fuck should all the responsibility be put on women anyway? Maybe we should actually force men to pay for their children, shockingly.

Those saying 25k is too little to live on, the benefit cap is 22k outside of London so many families have to live on this. From next month I will be living on 28k ish with 5 children under 18, single parent but own my own home outright. It's still going to be tight

@Beezknees
Many men and women are perfectly capable of supporting a child on their own particularly if they have both education and or training in preparation to earn an income sufficient to support themselves and a child or children. This does not happen by chance. It is the outcome of hard work, planning, and focus and the willingness to forgo having children until you are in a position to support them.

I agree that the support of children should be the equal responsibility of both parents , but if the many many sad tales are an indicator that is often not the way that things work out for many women. If women are prepared to support their on their own , the need may never arise. However, if the need arises, they are prepared to do so. They won't be in that position of saying "I can't leave because of finances" or " my child has to do without because their father won't.... "

It surprising to hear women opposing or suggesting that there is something wrong with advocating financial preparation and financial independence for women as an expectation rather than something for a fortunate few. Why should women not want to be prepared to support their children? I would think that this would be tied to self respect and dignity

Perfectly said.

But if you had rent to pay you would get help with that and if you worked the right number of hours the benefit cap wouldn't apply.

You'd also get help with childcare costs if applicable. Plus you'd have your wages of course.

It's not a luxury lifestyle but at the same time it's disingenuous to say that that families receiving UC to top up low wages have to live on £22k pa, because many have an income well above that.

No, the benefit cap includes housing costs in that 22k which is why so many families find it difficult. I agree that yes, the cap can be lifted by working a certain amount of hours.