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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's bed farting is too much

92 replies

alialixoxo · 21/08/2023 11:44

Serious post -
I've been married to my husband for 15 years but only over the past - I'd say five years - has he been farting continuously in our bed. I wouldn't mind so much if it was an accident or he really needed to but I feel he does it to get a reaction. Each time it happens, I tell him to go to the toilet but he then strains to get more out - again, to see my reaction I think. It's gotten to the point I can't sleep for a while as I know what's coming my way. For me, it's because it's in the bed and in continuously washing the sheets as they're stained. AIBU to ask him to stay in the spare room as I can't take anymore?

OP posts:
travelogue · 21/08/2023 14:42

And by the way, I'm not anti farting, it's a normal thing and everyone does it, but not everyone does what the OP has described.

LlamaFace19 · 21/08/2023 14:42

So he's essentially shitting himself in bed to irritate you? Rank.

RubiRage · 21/08/2023 14:44

Every time you fart you spray a tiny amount of crap out. So he’s basically shitting on you OP.

CurlewKate · 21/08/2023 14:45

"I really don't understand the problem some people have with farting on Mumsnet. It's a very natural bodily function and everyone does it. I expect even the queen used to let one rip from time to time."
Of course it is, of course they do, and of course she did. But producing horrible smells deliberately in front of someone else who has said they don't like it? In what planet is that OK?

Oblomov23 · 21/08/2023 14:45

Yuk. This isn't just farting though is it? Farting is normal. We shouldn't be ashamed. But this is different. Insist he sees GP.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 21/08/2023 14:46

Jesus. I have IBS and unfortunately farting is just part and parcel of that for me, but I've never stained the sheets.... that is intentionally shitting the bed. I hope that this is a fake thread.

BMW6 · 21/08/2023 14:49

But why on earth are you continuing to sleep with him??????

I'd be in a bedroom of my own and refuse to have him in bed with me. I certainly wouldn't ever be changing and washing his bedding - he can do his own.

In fact I think I'd just get a divorce and be done with it.

Rubiconmango · 21/08/2023 14:55

This cannot be true. At 40 at that?! No way in hell! He's not old enough for that!

Ps. Everyone talking about not farting in bed, is lying. Did you know we fart in our sleep? My husband farts in bed and so do I. Not as a joke, but needs must. We have a bedroom spray to eat up the smell instantly! But neither of us would ever dream of sleeping in skid marks. That's horrifying.

JapaneseSlipper · 21/08/2023 14:57

cocoloco117 · 21/08/2023 12:43

Why on earth are you washing the sheets he’s stained (wtf? 🤮)
I wouldn’t be asking him anything I’d be telling him to go sleep elsewhere.
I believe it’s situations like this that gave rise to ‘the ick’.

This is way beyond The Ick.

Valerie23 · 21/08/2023 15:03

I would secretly film him, then film the sheets in the morning and after sharing it to his friends and family serve him with divorce papers.

Stratocumulus · 21/08/2023 15:13

Long thread. Too long to read it all.
Others might have suggested;
A cleaner fresher diet comes to mind. More fresh foods & fruit?
Drink more water?
Candida overgrowth?
More exercise to tone his guts?

If he is resistant to Doctor advice, frankly I would defo sleep in spare room. If that doesn’t encourage him to seek medical advice, I’d probably separate from him.

Whatever you do, don’t succumb to oral sex on him 🤯& brace yourself to wiping his bottom before he reaches old age. He clearly lacks nor cares about being respectful to you, and lacks sphincter control. Perish the thought. Get rid.

billy1966 · 21/08/2023 15:18

Move into the other room until your divorce is finalised and the house is sold.

Boredofmyguts · 21/08/2023 15:20

I have some wind issues but I would never do that. Grim. Does he not have respect - and if he has some some digestive issues there are tests and remedies. .

Valerie23 · 21/08/2023 15:30

Definitely do up your spare room before the divorce. No expense spared and get a lock on it so he can't ever go in there and soil it. I mean spoil it. Actually, soil is the right word.

Make sure you tell all your female friends so they will eyeball him and turn their nose up at him when they see him so that he is publicly shamed and hopefully embarrassed.

Topseyt123 · 21/08/2023 15:34

Crikey, I am not averse to a good old fart, but actually shitting in the bed is way beyond reasonable.

The fact that he then seems prepared to lie in it and expects you to do the same is just disgusting. I very much doubt that I could live with him at all.

Valerie23 · 21/08/2023 16:09

This is one thread I hope makes the Daily Mail, The Sun, The Mirror etc so you can let everyone know it's him and have everyone you know ridicule him.

Disturbia81 · 21/08/2023 16:25

Man farting around me = loss of attraction. Disgusting

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