Husband's bed farting is too much

[alialixoxo]

Serious post -
I've been married to my husband for 15 years but only over the past - I'd say five years - has he been farting continuously in our bed. I wouldn't mind so much if it was an accident or he really needed to but I feel he does it to get a reaction. Each time it happens, I tell him to go to the toilet but he then strains to get more out - again, to see my reaction I think. It's gotten to the point I can't sleep for a while as I know what's coming my way. For me, it's because it's in the bed and in continuously washing the sheets as they're stained. AIBU to ask him to stay in the spare room as I can't take anymore?

Why on earth are you washing the sheets he’s stained (wtf? 🤮)
I wouldn’t be asking him anything I’d be telling him to go sleep elsewhere.
I believe it’s situations like this that gave rise to ‘the ick’.

Normal farts don't leave marks. That isn't normal.

Why on earth are you the one cleaning the sheets he's literally shat on?

There are many Mumsnetters who claim that farting in bed is hilarious, and they and their husbands have competitions. Also, that it is physically and psychologically damaging to hold farts back and they can't do it, although they never answer when asked whether they also fart at work. They're lying of course. It's be interesting to see whether they turn up to side with this man. @alialixoxo it really is ultimatum time. If you have a spare room move into it. And under no circumstances wash the sheets.

He's a disgusting pig

I'd photograph the sheets next time and put them on social media asking for advice on getting rid of your husband's shit stains.

Your husband is shitting the bed just for laughs? Does he still expect intimacy? Is he otherwise a normal functioning adult or just another pathetic manchild? If you actually want to be with him then have a conversation about how absolutely vile, unsexy, disgusting, disrespecting piece of shit (pun partially intended) he is. And how it is making you wanting to leave him and his shitty sheets. If he's gonna be "it's just a prank,
Bruh" you know he doesn't and won't respect you.

I would make the spare room my room, presumably he wouldn't move out of the big bedroom. As the other PP has mentioned then make it a little bijou haven and leave him to roll about in his shitty sheets and let him wash them too. I certainly wouldn't be having sex with the vile creature.

Revolting, how do you even bring yourself to look at him?

Jesus Christ LEAVE HIM this is so disgusting and disrespectful

This!! I certainly wouldn’t be fucking around moving into the spare room or gently encouraging a conversation with theGP or looking at his diet or entertaining this behaviour one iota. He is DELIBERATELY SHITTING IN YOUR BED. That’s so far beyond dealbreaker.

If this is what he’s like in his 40s or 50s, what on earth is his standard of cleanliness likely to be in old age?!

I don’t mean from a health perspective- if there’s something medically wrong then that needs to be addressed. But literally shitting on the bed, noticing the stains and not caring that their loved one was sharing those sheets? That’s worrying behaviour and not something I’d accept from an equal partner.

I'm sorry but if my DH farted and left skids on anything I'd be leaving him unless he saw a doctor. He's either incontinent or he's not washing his bum properly 🤮

No you wouldn't.

That is absolutely disgusting. There would be no sex ever again. Ever. And separate beds.

MY EYES!! What am I reading?! This can't be real! Have my first ever LTB

Are you sure they're shit marks and not sweat marks? I'm really struggling to understand how farting is leaving marks. Otherwise is poo actually coming out of his bum? Or is he not wiping properly and it's poo on his bum which is smearing onto sheets? Baffled.

That would be a dealbreaker for me.

Gross. Couldn't look at him the filthy asshole the same every again.

I’ve seen some weird things on here and if this is true I’d move into the spare bedroom and would consider leaving. I couldn’t look at him. Gross

Come the fuck on. If this is real, and you're actually still with this vile pig, you are your problem. No one with a shred of self-respect would stay with a man like this.

Does he realise he is shitting the bed!?!?!?!

Thanks Mumsnet for making me grateful to be single every day.

What you are describing isn't farting. It's shitting the bed. It's absolutely disgusting.

That's not a man, it's a pig, and he needs to sleep alone. Preferably in another building.

I have no issue with farting. I have IBS and sometimes pass wind in bed myself. It’s the skid marks that are too much. That’s really revolting. If I ever messed the bed by accident I wouldn’t want anyone else cleaning it up either, it would be too shameful!

Troll! 😈