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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's bed farting is too much

92 replies

alialixoxo · 21/08/2023 11:44

Serious post -
I've been married to my husband for 15 years but only over the past - I'd say five years - has he been farting continuously in our bed. I wouldn't mind so much if it was an accident or he really needed to but I feel he does it to get a reaction. Each time it happens, I tell him to go to the toilet but he then strains to get more out - again, to see my reaction I think. It's gotten to the point I can't sleep for a while as I know what's coming my way. For me, it's because it's in the bed and in continuously washing the sheets as they're stained. AIBU to ask him to stay in the spare room as I can't take anymore?

OP posts:
MK19590 · 21/08/2023 13:40

This is beyond disgusting. Leave him

CalistoNoSolo · 21/08/2023 13:41

Yes, I don't actually believe you OP.

MK19590 · 21/08/2023 13:41

It's also very worrying that you have been putting up with this for five years. Most wouldn't take five minutes of that disrespectful bullshit

Skid skid

red78hot · 21/08/2023 13:43

I have a body spray, the watery type next to the bed, mine gets his arsed sprayed if he farts

Cowlover89 · 21/08/2023 13:43

🤢🤮

5128gap · 21/08/2023 13:44

If this is true and he hasn't developed a physical or mental illness, then I'd say he really dislikes you. Deliberately causing disgust to another person is an act of aggression. I'd be leaving. There's nothing left here.

EvilElsa · 21/08/2023 13:48

That's absolutely fucking disgusting and I'd be turned off for life. It sounds dramatic but I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who would purposefully shit the bed. Because that's basically what it is. The crap women put up with on this site absolutely amazes and saddens me daily. OP, you deserve 100 times better than this and I hope you get it.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 21/08/2023 13:48

Surely this isn't true? He's not farting he's sharting. Or not.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 21/08/2023 13:48

Ask him to stay in the spare room while he arranges a new address!!! That's just grim!!

calmcoco · 21/08/2023 13:53

So just to be clear he's naked and deliberately pooing the bed?

And you wash the sheets to clear up after him, you've been doing it for five years and have only just decided this is not ok?

Confused
Back21970 · 21/08/2023 13:53

Disgusting and very disrespectful.

I had one that left skid marks on the bed as didn’t always clean his bum properly (his excuse was he had piles)

He also did loud performative farts to annoy me.

Has put me off men for life, TBH.

cocksstrideintheevening · 21/08/2023 13:54

Pretty sure I've read this before

BCSurvivor · 21/08/2023 13:55

I can't believe you're putting up with it.
How big is the spare room?
I would be starting to turn it into a sanctuary and move in there.
In an ideal scenario you'd boot him into the spare room, but if he's not going to respect boundaries, refuse to leave the bed or just be an arse it'd send a strong message to move into the spare room.

DinoMummsy · 21/08/2023 13:56

🤮

I second the vote for getting him a nappy. Stained sheets? 🤢 He sounds absolutely revolting! I couldn't share a bed with that - one shart and you're out I would say.

Floppyelf · 21/08/2023 13:57

I would publicly shame him

UnctuousUnicorns · 21/08/2023 14:08

I prescribe incontinence pants for him and possibly a bridge for yourself.

ItLooksLikeChickenSoItMustBeChicken · 21/08/2023 14:10

Make him wear pants or pyjamas in bed, the dirty git

Bluebellsandharebells · 21/08/2023 14:16

I started off being sympathetic until I read I tell him to go to the toilet but he then strains to get more out - why do you need to potty-train an adult?

Is this for real ??

Hibiscrubbed · 21/08/2023 14:21

He strains to fart to get a reaction from you and leaves shit on the sheets?

What a revolting Shitstain of a man. You don’t really need us to tell you what to do, do you?

loislovesstewie · 21/08/2023 14:24

GET RID! I mean it, that is disgusting. Don't put him in the spare room,put him out the door.

HTmmm · 21/08/2023 14:31

Fucking disgusting and disrespectful. I don't think this is normal behaviour for an adult. I'm sorry you've put up with this for so long. Is he vile in other ways too? You don't have to share a bed or be intimate with someone like this and you don't have to clean up after him.

Growlybear83 · 21/08/2023 14:35

I would find it revolting if my husband left stains on the sheets, and agree that it isn't acceptable if he's following through, but I really don't understand the problem some people have with farting on Mumsnet. It's a very natural bodily function and everyone does it. I expect even the queen used to let one rip from time to time.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 21/08/2023 14:37

Oh god my first response would have been to stop reacting but if he's staining the sheets then he's not just farting. Why is he not changing the sheets if he has an accident and making sure there is enough clothes/nappies/incontinence wear between his arse and your bed!

OhcantthInkofaname · 21/08/2023 14:38

I would be moving to a spare house not just a spare room.

travelogue · 21/08/2023 14:40

All of that!!👆 If one of my kids had ever shat the bed (and none of them did) they would have been taken to the Drs! Deliberate "farting" that stains the sheets has to be one of the worst things I've ever read on here (apart from other forms of abuse obviously). And then he lies in it all night?!? What a filthy bastard. Inflicting this level of depravity on you is unforgivable. Get him and his stinking arse as far away from you as possible.

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