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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I'm the Victor Meldrew of Weddings!

107 replies

BumbleBee75 · 21/08/2023 08:34

Does anyone else dislike weddings?

I think I've been to that many now (in My 40s) I'm a bit jaded.

I find them a loooong day, forced to be jolly and make conversation, usually costs a small fortune with gifts, new outfit, the dreaded hen do's, more often than not an overnight stay. The loooong part between day and evening at a Wedding seems to drag on forever.

I could just decline obviously, but some are harder than others as can be family members who really I want to be there to see them married etc (but ideally then go home and get into my jama's 😂)

I'm sure DH thinks I'm odd an that all women apart from me love a wedding.

Any other Victor Meldrews out there???

OP posts:

UsingChangeofName · 21/08/2023 21:22

EightChalk · 21/08/2023 13:42

Absolutely! I love an excuse to get properly dressed up and a good party. Standing around for the photos is fine - we all know how important getting good photos is to most couples on their wedding day, and they'll have paid a lot for the photographer. It's fun to chat, dance, meet people, have a celebration day that's out of the ordinary scheme of things. But not on here!

Show quote history

All of this.

I've been to SO many weddings over the decades, and this doesn't describe any of them.
You don't need to go to the hen do. I rarely stay overnight. I don't often buy a new outfit. I buy a present (or give cash) I can afford. I don't recognise the "loooong part between day and evening at a Wedding"

I mean, no-one is BU to dislike anything, but YABU to imply all weddings are like this.

LittleMissUnreasonable · 22/08/2023 11:45

I wouldn't go to an evening only event unless it was local, and certainly not one of these where you go for the ceremony, have to piss off whilst the "chosen ones" have a meal, and then return for the evening do.

Hbh17 · 22/08/2023 12:02

I like a ceremony/service, but of a drink and a chat and then a decent meal, possibly with short speeches. What I despise are "evening dos", which are usually just glorified discos with some very drunk guests. At that point I either just want some quiet conversation with my friends, or to go home/to my room. Than God, I have never been to a destination wedding - the whole point of them was supposed to be so that bride and groom could be alone and not have to invite their families - which is fine. But now the trend seems to be to invite everyone they've ever met, which is just extra fuss and tackiness.

Hbh17 · 22/08/2023 12:04

I'm also delighted to say I've never been on a hen do - they weren't "A Thing" when my generation got married 😂

ShineLikeA · 22/08/2023 15:04

Than God, I have never been to a destination wedding - the whole point of them was supposed to be so that bride and groom could be alone and not have to invite their families - which is fine

No, the 'point' of a destination wedding is for the bride and groom to get married somewhere they like, and which they feel other people may also like. Some people, like you, won't want to go, or be able to go, some people will see it as an interesting way to take a quick holiday somewhere they wouldn't ordinarily choose/know about.

In some cases, it's a way of choosing somewhere 'neutral' or central, if the people getting married are from different countries which are a long way apart -- a Canadian friend who married a German got married in a part of Italy where they first went on holiday together, and it was lovely.

I've certainly gone to some overseas/distant weddings, and others I've not been able to afford (a five-day extravaganza in Delhi, which from the invitation appeared to involve a lot of changes of clothes and polo clubs still sorry I couldn't make that one, but I was an impoverished postgrad living on small change and cups of tea) but I fail to see why so many Mners get quite so exercised over invitations to weddings that don't precisely suit them in terms of location, timings etc. I mean, it's a wedding invitation, not some kind of act of aggression!

But I assume it's part of the social awkwardness and misanthropicness that emerges on some threads here.

RampantIvy · 22/08/2023 15:32

In my case the people I wanted at my wedding was much more important than the venue.

Some family guests had to travel to my home town because we are quite scattered, so it couldn't be helped. In most cases they could stay with other family though.

If I was invited to a destination wedding now I probably would go.

Ragwort · 22/08/2023 16:11

I love Coffee's description of a wedding, exactly the type of wedding I went to when I was younger - even down to the food served. And all over by 5pm . It's the evening part I find so tedious, although I realise that DH & I must be incredibly rude as we've never stayed for the 'dancing' ... never danced with my DH in 35 years of marriage .
The last wedding I went to was so utterly tedious and I felt desperately sorry for the couple as they obviously spent a fortune on it but it was just so looooooong. And we were clearly sat on the 'odd bods' table now we are elderly relations, stuck with a monosyllabic couple and a random pair from the groom's workplace (who were equally bored) and some neighbours from year's ago. Both DH and I are used to making conversations and social chit chat but that was a dreary afternoon.

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