I'm the Victor Meldrew of Weddings!

[BumbleBee75]

Does anyone else dislike weddings?

I think I've been to that many now (in My 40s) I'm a bit jaded.

I find them a loooong day, forced to be jolly and make conversation, usually costs a small fortune with gifts, new outfit, the dreaded hen do's, more often than not an overnight stay. The loooong part between day and evening at a Wedding seems to drag on forever.

I could just decline obviously, but some are harder than others as can be family members who really I want to be there to see them married etc (but ideally then go home and get into my jama's 😂)

I'm sure DH thinks I'm odd an that all women apart from me love a wedding.

Any other Victor Meldrews out there???

Me too. They are ridiculously expensive and tiring and time consuming and my strongest memory is always how hungry and awkward I feel throughout and the relief I feel when it's over.

And how resentful I am about the tiredness, boredom, expense and total waste of time.

Cannot stand them. Oftentimes I will actually lie to avoid the whole shebang (invent holidays or whatever) but if I feel my absolute duty to go I will always ask for an evening only invite. No better feeling than turning up fresh as a daisy for the evening part not having already endured the tedium of the daytime activities.

It seems that the issue the wedding haters have is that the weddings they get invited to are nothing like the informal and friendly weddings I get invited to. That's why I like weddings. Besides, I don't get invited to many.

HATE them with a passion, almost always decline unless I REALLY cannot get out of them. Boring as fuck, relentless small talk, people telling me where to sit, waiting on food, drunken arseholes, the speeches, the expense, the travelling, the absolute HORROR of people who cannot understand how you can possibly hate weddings....I would rather shit in my hands and clap.

The weddings I’ve been to tend to be a 4.30 / 5pm ceremony at the venue. Wedding over in 40 minutes, an hour reception with ample drinks and canapés while fhe couple have pictures. Dinner and dancing from about 6.30 / 7 and all done by 11 / 11.30. Doesn’t cost anything if you’re not travelling apart from a gift as it would be unheard of to expect guests to pay for drinks.

How do so many wedding haters get invited to them? They make it very clear that they hate socialising, so how do they even have any friends?

I've been to several weddings like that here in the US. They are definitely the best! The big all night and next day weddings don't seem to be a thing around here, thank deity of your choice.

I don't hate socialising. I hate weddings. I have lots of friends.

Most weddings I've been to seem to follow the same pattern:

Marriage ceremony
4-5 hours of hanging around, waiting for photographs to be taken, making small talk, trying not to drink too much on an empty stomach
More time making small talk across the roast lamb and medley of desserts
Speeches,
More time hanging around waiting for the room to be cleared
Band playing so loudly no one can have a conversation
Wondering how soon you can go to bed without looking rude/boring/insulting

Throw in a few fireworks, or a photo booth, or a sweet cart and that's it really.

Then the next day your under pressure to hang around for the barbecue/barn dance/disco when you just want to go home.

You are so lucky! Even had to pay for soft drinks at one some of the day (or two day) borefests I've been to.

I've been to at least 20 and don't recognise any of the behaviour listed here. Rarely been bored. Occasionally been a bit unimpressed with the food but never left for hours to get it.

Never been stuck with boring people except for once when bride was a friend of a friend and we got stuck with a couple who were utterly tedious but so much so they became anecdote fodder.

Heard some mediocre speeches but loads of beautiful ones and loads of genuinely funny ones.

Done a lot of dancing and a lot more catching up with people over drinks and generally have a cracker of a time.

Stayed in some very nice hotels, had some excellent food.

Missed my cousin's when it got pared down to 30 for covid and still a bit sad about that. DC really want to go to one too.

I bet people did enjoy it. There's something reassuring about knowing you'll be home for bed. The three day long endurance tests, however, are despair inducing.

YANBU OP.

Love weddings, never been to a bad one. But my friends aren't arseholes.

I have never been to a wedding that has had that format.

Yes, a lot of mumsnetters have socially unaware arseholes for friends, don't they.

I also despise them. Have managed to get out of the last 3 I was invited to with elaborate excuses. Boring and waste of my money. I just don't get them.
But I am anti social at the best of times.

Weddings are generally very boring, and I've had three! Hens are worse though

I dislike weddings too OP- such long and boring days. Obviously I'm very happy for the people getting married, and it's lovely of them to consider me close enough to invite, but I don't enjoy them. I don't really like drinking or dancing, so I suppose that's why!

I am ambivalent to weddings, I typically try to go, but I don't feel guilty if I need to decline for some reason.

What I don't understand is some aspects of the complaint about cost, specifically the thing of "needing" a new outfit. Why?! It's absolutely not an issue to wear the same thing. Why impose this hassle on yourself? I wear one of two nicer dresses I have depending on how slim I'm feeling..! If my friends have noticed the repetition no one has cared enough to ever mention it!

The rest of the expenses are fine, I just don't get this one!!

This is me 😂😂

I don't get this. I don't feel under pressure to have perfect hair and make up, a new dress and shoes I can't walk in. My hair would be clean, neat and tidy, which is what most people would do anyway. I wear very little make up, I wouldn't spend £££ on an outfit that would rarely get worn and I never wear uncomfortable shoes.

Obviously being dirty and scruffy at an important occasion like a wedding is uncalled for, but I am often taken aback on some of the "is this suitable for a wedding?" threads in S & B when posters, who must go to some extremely formal weddings, say that an outfit is too casual when IMO they are perfectly fine for the occasion.

My late Great Aunt was very anti-wedding, and in fact all important occasions. She would give a massive cash gift in lieu of attendance and everyone was happy 😁😁

I agree re. Outfits, hair etc. I hate weddings but not because of this aspect. I have two wedding outfits that I've alternated for the past 15 years!

I too usually wear something I already have! If the Princess of Wales can recycle her outfits surely I can.