I'm the Victor Meldrew of Weddings!

[BumbleBee75]

Does anyone else dislike weddings?

I think I've been to that many now (in My 40s) I'm a bit jaded.

I find them a loooong day, forced to be jolly and make conversation, usually costs a small fortune with gifts, new outfit, the dreaded hen do's, more often than not an overnight stay. The loooong part between day and evening at a Wedding seems to drag on forever.

I could just decline obviously, but some are harder than others as can be family members who really I want to be there to see them married etc (but ideally then go home and get into my jama's 😂)

I'm sure DH thinks I'm odd an that all women apart from me love a wedding.

Any other Victor Meldrews out there???

yes not my cup of tea. I attend the one's where i am going as guest of my partner as he wants to go - last one we stayed at the venue so i could duck up and go to bed at 10ish.

I do actually like watching the couple get wed. Its just all the fuss around it - having to find a suitable outfit (i don't like dresses so generally wear trousers) and then worry about shoes and then all that chit chat with people i vagueelly know.

If its family and i am sat with my parents, i enjoy that catch up with relatives. But else i am not fussed. would prefer just a nice ceremony, a toast/cake or even quick lunch if provided then head home by say 3.

Unlike most mumsnetters I have never been invited to a destination wedding, a wedding where the couple were so self absorbed that they didn't take their guest's well being into consideration, a wedding with unreasonable requests of the guests, a child free wedding, a very expensive very formal wedding or that many weddings. In the last 40 years I have been to less than 10 weddings.

AS a result I love a wedding.

I guess that my friends and family are just not selfish bridezillas/groomzillas.

I love weddings but like @RampantIvy I've never been invited to some of the shit shows described on here

The best wedding I went to was at 6 in the evening, the ceremony, then dinner, disco, in bed by 11. Everyone had a brilliant time.

I honestly just don't get why weddings have gone this way and why people choose to spend their life savings on it.
Always a really formulaic too. Only difference I s how much money you put iin.
We had a half day wedding. Everyone loved it!

Young people can't afford a house - yet are pressured to getting married. Massive amount on one day. The best weddings are simple ones

We had a half day wedding. Everyone loved it!

Everyone thinks theirs was the wedding that people actually enjoyed.

I think there's a massive difference between a wedding where there's a few family member to chat to (so often a different generation) or you only perhaps know the bride or groom and not many other people, versus weddings where there's a good load of people from your own friendship group there. The former, yes it can feel like that (I'm quite shy and definitely do not enjoy small talk in that type of scenario) but when it's the latter I absolutely love the opportunity to catch up with lots of friends I don't see so often and on such a happy occasion too.

I love a wedding but haven’t been to one for five or six years. Am now at the age where friends, cousins, siblings are all married (or never will be) and the next generation hasn’t got there yet (and even when they do I can only really expect to be invited to my children’s and hopefully nephews and nieces). So that’s really only a potential nine more weddings in my lifetime, and not for at least ten years I should think. Unless there are some second weddings but it seems unlikely.

I love an evening reception!
Sitting about in a draughty church and pretending to sing hymns, not so much!

Those big splashy weddings are such a waste of money. Half the guests don't want to be there and the couple are often spending tens of thousands of pounds that would be better used towards a house deposit.

The only people benefitting are those involved in the ridiculous wedding industry that's built up in recent times.

i don't know - my sister had a 12pm-6pm wedding, was great.

I went off with my parents and aunt for a pizza after - we could all mentally RELAX at that point. was really nice.

I can't stand them. I don't know why people can't just nip down to the registry office and spend the money on something useful.

I honestly just don't get why weddings have gone this way and why people choose to spend their life savings on it.

I know what you mean @TaraRhu. People post on MN about having a "dream wedding". They need to get their head out of the clouds and be more realistic about their expectations. It almost as if they have put all their effort into just one day without thinking about the fact it is a marriage, not just a wedding.

I really don't get the concept of "dream weddings" at all. Obviously you want the day to go well, but having such ridiculously high expecations these days just adds to the stress.

As you get older there are just less weddings .Which suits me tbh I just can't get my head around how much people spend on them now .
Weekend wedding celebrations,going abroad to get married etc I just find it all so over the top .
I wonder if things will change again and village halls and a band or disco with family and friends doing the food will come back into fashion

Agreed, I'm not a fan of wedding either!

I'm older now and divorce parties are much more fun

Absolutely! I love an excuse to get properly dressed up and a good party. Standing around for the photos is fine - we all know how important getting good photos is to most couples on their wedding day, and they'll have paid a lot for the photographer. It's fun to chat, dance, meet people, have a celebration day that's out of the ordinary scheme of things. But not on here!

Hate weddings. DH and I eloped. Didn't invite anyone. I wanted a marriage and not a wedding day.

Agreed. In the main, they're all the same and shit. Please don't invite me 😂

Only one that wasn't the saaammmme as all the others and didn't include a stupid rip off hen /stag do was tee pees around a lake. Totally chilled out hippy type vibe and it was so much more enjoyable than the usual tripe wedding. And I bet it cost a fraction of them too!

I love a wedding. Well into my 40s now and everyone is either married or divorcing so only had one or two in the past 5 years. Only time I get to go for a dance these days so I'm all for it!

Can people just get married in a church and have a garden party at home? Far more enjoyable.
@hdbs17
Spare a thought for those of us who haven't been baptised (DH) and don't have a garden (we live in a flat) 😅

OP this is mumsnet where everyone seems to be married yet seems to hate weddings of other people. But their wedding was the best and they had a knees up on £500 and everyone said it was the best wedding they attended 😉

I'm one of the strange ones who loves a wedding but not an 'evening only' invite. You still have the same obligations with travel, card/present, outfit, hotel but without the privilege of witnessing the marriage and enjoying the nice meal. It's normally arriving at 7pm to a loud disco and a few curled sandwiches. It's a no from me

Its very much part of the culture of MN to hate weddings OP. In fact I don't think your feelings are anywhere near strong enough.
You haven't raged at the sheer thoughtlessness of them inviting you in August/at the weekend/in the week/when you're busy/when you're not busy and want a free weekend.
You havent been sufficiently shocked at their selfishness in not choosing a wedding venue close enough to your house.
You haven't complained at length about your children not being invited, or invited and being allocated seats you dislike.
You are neither seething at being overlooked as bridesmaid or fuming at the brides entitlement in expecting you to be.
You don't seem anywhere near disgusted enough at the type and quantity of food you're served or how long you may need to wait to eat.
You haven't even expressed your sorrow at how sad it is for people to spend so much money on just one day, or predicted the marriages will fail on account of it, because lavish weddings always end in divorce.
Come on OP, admit it. You love them really. You're just trying to be in the MN in crowd!

I love weddings! Registry, destination, arsehole of nowhere, city hotel - don't care, I'll be there! 😄

However, I don't do hen dos: in the immortal words of David Mitchell (the comedian, not the writer) - 'went once, didn't like it, didn't do it again'. 😉

Yeah, I'm of the age where I'm getting the 'second (or third, or on one memorable occasion, fourth*) time around' invites, too. 😄

• Mr Fourth Time Around is an old and dearly-loved university friend who is a wonderful bloke, but is incredibly bad at relationships. Either that, or he has a secret toaster hoarding problem.

Have been to 2 in the last month. First one was bloody awful, guests were left for 2 and a half hours in the hotel whilst the photos were taken. One hour of photos with the family ( the brides poor Great Grandfather was shattered when he came back) and 90 minutes for photo of the Bridal party. Time between the service and the meal was 4 hours and because they had opted for a venue over an hour from their home town nobody could drink so after the first dance most people left. We hung on until 9 and even those only invited to the evening do were starting to leave. Second wedding was much better, only 10 guests allowed in the registry office which was 5 minutes away from the wedding venue and in the same town the families lived. The ceremony was live streamed to the guests who had gathered in the venue, Fizz and canapes provided. Everyone gathered on the beach for the photos, back in the venue in less than half an hour, Bride and Groom took another 10 minutes. Bride and groom struck a deal with a local taxi company and 2 taxi's were available exclusively for the guests to use at a reduced cost. Great wedding and most of the guests stayed late.