Do you hear voices in your head?

[PhryneFisher]

I’m posting this under AIBU a) for traffic and b) because I don’t want people to think I’m trolling or mocking. I’m genuinely not and am actually quite scared so here for some reassurance I guess.
My question is, do you have a voice in your head that tells you what to do? And as a sub question, do you have a part of your head that thinks you are someone else?
Long story short, I have always been unorganised, chaotic, and prone to procrastinating. Therefore my house is a mess, my wardrobe is overflowing with clothes that don’t fit and my general appearance is shabby chic without the chic.
For as long as I can remember I have had this view that this isn’t how “normal” people are. But recently I’ve started noticing a voice in my head that tells me how to be normal.
Case in point, this morning, my son asked for some toast, I took the last two pieces of bread out of the bag, then just left the bag on the side. A really clear voice in my head said “Put the bag in the bin, for fuck’s sake, like NORMAL people do.” So I did.
I only seem to be able to think about how to do “normal” things if this voice is there, telling me off, almost. It’s never yet told me to do anything really bad (well once, 9 years ago, but that was due to a postnatal psychotic episode I was treated for) but I do occasionally get a very fleeting urge to drive into a wall or jump in front of a train, then it goes away again as quick as it appeared.
If the voice isn’t telling me to do something, I tend to procrastinate and do nothing, almost as if I don’t know WHAT to do. If I do something very mundane like load the dishwasher without being “told” to, I genuinely feel like I just won a gold medal at the Olympics, it feels like such an accomplishment to do something SO mundane, it’s ridiculous.
Also, though, I often get really, really strong feelings that I am someone completely different, living a completely different life. A while ago, a colleague mentioned she had gone to Halifax to see her mum.
I said “Ooh, lovely, I love Halifax.”
I have never been to Halifax in my life but for a fleeting moment I thought I had. I wasn’t just saying it, I thought it.
I then had to pretend I went years ago and don’t remember much about it so she didn’t ask too many questions.
I quite often see something expensive and think I might buy that at the weekend , but I’m on minimum wage and just about get by.
I daydream about the open top bus parade I’ll be on when I win the FA Cup, despite not being a professional footballer and being nearly 50 but I’m always surprised when 5 seconds later I realise the truth.
I walk down the street and sometimes in my head, I am expecting people to recognise me for my extensive TV work. I’ve never been on telly in my life. When I realise that, I’m then confused as to why I thought otherwise in the first place.

I know this all sounds a bit weird and possibly childish, but I have booked a GP appointment for this week because I take antidepressants for my sleep and my anxiety and need a review, but I thought I would post on here first to see if any of this is actually just normal and nothing to worry about? A friend of mine once said “You do realise there’s no such thing as normal and none of us are, don’t you?” I’m hoping she was right?

Very interesting post. I can relate to some of it but not all. I have an internal monologue but it doesn’t tell me I’m a tv personality 😆

I am expecting people to recognise me for my extensive TV work.
That's not "normal" but as for the rest I don't think there's anything to worry about.

Is it literally a voice in your head? What does it say? The only person I have told about that but specifically IRL thinks it’s some kind of unfulfilled dream. Not necessarily to be on telly, but to maybe achieve something that’s eluded me. Almost like my head is telling me that some people achieve massive things so I can easily achieve whatever this presumably achievable thing is? But she also said she had never heard of anything like it and that was her guess. Which is why I wondered if it was normal.

I think it's normal to have a voice in your head that tells you what to do, or criticises you when you mess up (even in small ways) ... Like the voice of your conscience or the angel/devil on your shoulder.

"Put the bread away you lazy woman" would be a great example. Or "I can't believe you said that to her, she'll think you're an idiot"

But, you'd know that the voice in your head is part of you. I'd be concerned only if I didn't feel like it was an extension of my own consciousness.

If you think that the voice belongs to someone else, or takes control of you then I'd have a chat about it with a MH professional

You sound exactly like me and I have ADHD!

Although I don't necessarily believe my daydreams, but I can get very involved in them!

Are you diagnosed with it? Do you think you’re someone else?

This doesn’t sound normal.

This voice in you head sound very different from critical thoughts lots of people have. People often call this a critical inner voice, but you describe waiting for that voice to tell you what to do. That sounds very different from normal.

Is it literally a voice in your head?

Yes. It's the same voice I hear in my head when I'm reading, or daydreaming, or planning out how a difficult conversation might go ahead of time.

It doesn't sound like me speaking out loud. It's my internal monologue voice that's always been there

Most people have an inner monologue although some don't.

It does normally feel like "yourself" though. When I think stuff, it's like it's me, talking inside my head. If I've been spending a lot of time with a certain friend it might temporarily speak in their voice, or I might imagine a conversation with someone and "hear" what I think they would say.

Some of what you describe sounds quite ADHD like, with the frustration and getting annoyed about not doing "what normal people do". But do you really feel like this is a separate person telling you what normal people do? Not just yourself saying come on, normal people in this scenario do X. (ADHD causes a problem with the communication centres between the doing and knowing parts of the brain, so people with ADHD often know what they "should" do but struggle to actually make themselves do it. Pretending a bossy teacher is telling you what to do is not a totally unknown coping strategy.)

Some people report the idea of a sense of an "angel and devil on my shoulder" telling them the right/wrong thing to do, this is quite common and again nothing to worry about if it's more of a metaphor and you know it's really you. Actually feeling that there is a stranger in your head with different life experiences to you is probably something you should mention to your doctor.

The thoughts about jumping off the train platform are common, google "imp of the perverse". Aka intrusive thoughts.

I think it's quite easily done to say something like oh yes, Halifax, lovely. Probably what happened then is you were remembering a time that you went somewhere else that for whatever reason is mapped similarly to Halifax in your mind. They said Halifax, you had a brief memory of other place and said ooh yes, I like Halifax (thinking other place) then your brain sort of caught up and thought Halifax? No, what am I saying, I haven't been there. (Again ADHD can cause memory weirdness like this. Just the other day I almost accused someone of scamming me and then I realised my memory had got mixed up again.)

“but I do occasionally get a very fleeting urge to drive into a wall or jump in front of a train, then it goes away again as quick as it appeared” flipping eck OP, does that not scare you? It would scare me… though I’m accident prone so it’s not so much I’ll jump in front of a train, but what about if I trip and fall on the line. I suppose that’s an internal monologue?
Are you a people pleaser and just want to be friendly and make conversation??

Only because of your history would I worry that the voices could escalate and cause you to do something you may regret… I think your right to see a G.P just to make sure but I’m sure your fine- and ‘normal’ as normal as any of us are.

Maybe the best way to describe it is that without it I still do things, but not “normal things”. So, I might take a load of washing off the line. Unless the voice specifically says “now put it away”, it will sit in the basket for days. I will get clothes directly from the basket to wear again. But if the voice tells me to put it away, I do.

So much I could say about this, with experience around caring for people with psychosis and dealing with maladaptive day dreaming myself

this is a long article but we’ll worth reading - in short theres nowt wrong with you 🤷🏼‍♀️
https://healthmatch.io/blog/the-science-behind-the-voice-in-the-back-of-your-head

That’s interesting, @BertieBotts thanks. Maybe I do have ADHD then. I think I would rather that than be told I’m just crazy.

I have adhd this is not what it's like for me at all I don't disassociate from myself or have different voices in my head with their own thoughts, I do have lots of trains of thought all at once but its all me, a friend of mine did have different voices in his head but he had schizophrenia diagnosed in his 30s. On the whole brains are a weird thing and we are all unique, so long as it's not wanting you to cause harm I wouldn't overly worry about being different unless you feel you would benefit from some mental health support

I would certainly chat to your GP about all this, OP. It sounds different to the internal monologue that most people experience, and more like auditory hallucinations. Ditto the feelings of 'being someone else' and so on - while these can be normal, there's a chance they may be part of a bigger picture. With your history of psychosis it's really important to get things checked out sooner rather than later - it may be that your meds need to be tweaked. Best of luck.

Please do not jump to this conclusion. Read the article. It is relatively normal 🤷🏼‍♀️

Two voices. One is internal, it’s my own thoughts. I do actively “think” things like, unload the dishwasher. Or “don’t leave the bread there.” But I can do things without thinking. Though I suppose I do tend to think/narrate more often then not.

another one I’ve had - rarely - and usually when very very tired, is like an external voice. its like somebody sat next to you talking, or talking at you from another room. It’s much louder, like another person. Often happens when I’m in a dreamlike state, dozing off in bed, for example. They usually say nonsense to me, one I remember said something along the lines of, “you’re not a member of the Micky mouse club”. I always assumed it was something similar to dreaming.

That sounds quite like me, I pretty sure I have ADHD.

it’s like I just don’t connect all the dots. I’ll put the washing in a basket but just not think to put it away there and then: unless I conscious decide to do it.

it is like I can do a task at hand but not see a bigger picture

I can relate to some of this. I have ADHD, but not all ADersare the same.
Neurodivergent people often have other conditions that are associated with a difference or damage to that part of the brain, bipolar, ocd, self harm etc.

I have an internal monologue which can prompts me, like better take the cake out of the oven before it burns, looks like rain etc - but really it's just listen thoughts and very much me. Definitely no one else or attached from me.

To your second question, do you have a part of your head that thinks you are someone else? No, I'm very confident everything in my head is me, for want of a better expression.

Seems to me there are two angles worth discussing with your GP

Is your inner voice just actually you but is very harsh on you? Do you like yourself or are you nasty to yourself and blame yourself for things necessary?

The other thing that needs to be explored is if this is a voice of someone else, which may be a bigger issue, especially the fact it's nasty to you.

I think it's worth exploring with your GP as it cannot be pleasant.

You'd really need an experienced, professional psychologist to answer your questions. I just thought I'd give you some of my own experiences, in case others recognise them at all!

Unless your 'voice' gets worse or starts instructing you to do harmful things, I'd guess it's your brain's way of helping you cope when life feels a bit confusing. Also, a vivid imagination is something to appreciate, really, and not all that weird.

I've got three types of inner voice.

One's a constant internal 'voice'. This one doesn't actually sound like a voice, it's mental chatter. Most people have this, and are surprised to learn that some don't!

With me, it spends a lot of time criticising. In therapy I learned how to 'listen' to what it's saying, and realised the criticism comes from childhood, when I was harshly punished for getting things wrong. There was a lot for a kid to remember, and I never knew what was 'wrong' before getting punished. So I developed a sort of mega-critic in my head, always telling me off, in hopes of getting a jump on my parent and avoiding the punishment.

Once I'd understood that it was trying to help, not deliberately undermining me, I started making friends with it. I called it Fucky Nell because it was always saying 'fucking hell!' 😂 My project has been ongoing for about 15 years now, and Nell is definitely easing up, even being kind sometimes.

Another type is much more like a disembodied voice, although this one doesn't sound like a real voice either. It pops up at times of great distress or emergency, and issues clear warnings or instructions. Your 'Be Normal' voice might be more like this one?

It is invariably right: in any case, I wouldn't ignore it. I have a theory (psychological/neurological) about where it comes from but that's not important. What is important is to know that many people have reported this happening when they've been in life-threatening situations, and it has saved lives.

The third type's an hallucination. I get them often, due to fatigue. The auditory ones are usually stuff like music or people talking in the background, but can be definite voices speaking clearly. Since I know that I hallucinate, I do a little checking routine when something unexpected happens, and only react if it's definitely real. They can make me jump, though!

I used to tell lies a lot, very much like your Halifax story. In the moment I believed them to be true. I got fed up with it; it was embarrassing if someone said "Oh, Garlic's been there / done that" when I haven't, and I didn't really know why I was doing it anyway. I stopped doing it. If I'm over-identifying with someone else's experience, I do a little checking routine before speaking ... I might still go ahead, though, if it's harmless!

You know, you might've seen a film set in Halifax or wherever, and have internalised your positive impression.

Your escapist fantasies are really nothing to worry about. It's actually a gift. Loads of people do it most of the time, and other people seek the experience through hypnotherapy or drugs. Mine are rarely that vivid any more, since starting antidepressants, but I still have a very good imagination and am grateful for it.

You would be a FANTASTIC hypnotic subject, by the way, @PhryneFisher. You could always give hypnotherapy a go if there are things you'd like to explore and/or alter.

Is being an incredibly chic, filthy rich, 1920s detective one of your escapist fantasies, by any chance?? what fun!

No it sounds like you’re having delusions. It’s good that they’re only fleeting. The voice thing I have thoughts but there isn’t a voice attached to it usually

I am glad to hear that you have booked a GP app as this sounds a bit worrying as you mention the voice tells you to drive to a wall etc.