Do you hear voices in your head?

[PhryneFisher]

I’m posting this under AIBU a) for traffic and b) because I don’t want people to think I’m trolling or mocking. I’m genuinely not and am actually quite scared so here for some reassurance I guess.
My question is, do you have a voice in your head that tells you what to do? And as a sub question, do you have a part of your head that thinks you are someone else?
Long story short, I have always been unorganised, chaotic, and prone to procrastinating. Therefore my house is a mess, my wardrobe is overflowing with clothes that don’t fit and my general appearance is shabby chic without the chic.
For as long as I can remember I have had this view that this isn’t how “normal” people are. But recently I’ve started noticing a voice in my head that tells me how to be normal.
Case in point, this morning, my son asked for some toast, I took the last two pieces of bread out of the bag, then just left the bag on the side. A really clear voice in my head said “Put the bag in the bin, for fuck’s sake, like NORMAL people do.” So I did.
I only seem to be able to think about how to do “normal” things if this voice is there, telling me off, almost. It’s never yet told me to do anything really bad (well once, 9 years ago, but that was due to a postnatal psychotic episode I was treated for) but I do occasionally get a very fleeting urge to drive into a wall or jump in front of a train, then it goes away again as quick as it appeared.
If the voice isn’t telling me to do something, I tend to procrastinate and do nothing, almost as if I don’t know WHAT to do. If I do something very mundane like load the dishwasher without being “told” to, I genuinely feel like I just won a gold medal at the Olympics, it feels like such an accomplishment to do something SO mundane, it’s ridiculous.
Also, though, I often get really, really strong feelings that I am someone completely different, living a completely different life. A while ago, a colleague mentioned she had gone to Halifax to see her mum.
I said “Ooh, lovely, I love Halifax.”
I have never been to Halifax in my life but for a fleeting moment I thought I had. I wasn’t just saying it, I thought it.
I then had to pretend I went years ago and don’t remember much about it so she didn’t ask too many questions.
I quite often see something expensive and think I might buy that at the weekend , but I’m on minimum wage and just about get by.
I daydream about the open top bus parade I’ll be on when I win the FA Cup, despite not being a professional footballer and being nearly 50 but I’m always surprised when 5 seconds later I realise the truth.
I walk down the street and sometimes in my head, I am expecting people to recognise me for my extensive TV work. I’ve never been on telly in my life. When I realise that, I’m then confused as to why I thought otherwise in the first place.

I know this all sounds a bit weird and possibly childish, but I have booked a GP appointment for this week because I take antidepressants for my sleep and my anxiety and need a review, but I thought I would post on here first to see if any of this is actually just normal and nothing to worry about? A friend of mine once said “You do realise there’s no such thing as normal and none of us are, don’t you?” I’m hoping she was right?

I do think you should definitely explain all these things at your medication review, especially if some of the things are new.

I was on mobile before and it is harder to review my text so I can write more now I'm back at the computer.

That article is very interesting, and does bring together a lot of different things, some new to me. To be clear, I wasn't saying that "telling yourself what to do" is the part that I associate with ADHD, the sense of not doing perfectly normal, logical, simple things like throwing away a bread bag, unless under dire threat of consequences is the part that I associated with ADHD, and I just know that it's very common for adults who have been undiagnosed with ADHD all their lives to have developed a sort of inner monologue which is extremely critical specifically around these kinds of tasks, and it's not unheard of for someone to find that painful so they kind of pretend that voice is a helpful bossy assistant or teacher, rather than that it's coming from themselves. KC Davis talks about this kind of critical voice a lot, and encourages self-compassion.

That's very relevant to me, @BertieBotts, thank you. I'm resisting the urge to self-diagnose with such things, but everything I read about ADHD does apply!

Haha, someone else gets the reference! I was watching an episode of it a while back and needed a username! Unfortunately not, they are all things that would be technically feasible for me in the here and now, but just wildly unlikely.

@Annaishere, delusions are "false belief or judgment about external reality, held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary, occurring especially in mental conditions."

OP hasn't reported believing her thoughts are objectively real despite evidence to the contrary. Flights of imagination aren't delusions, neither are everyday coping strategies - even if they look weird to people whose imaginations are more subdued.

I used to but I'm on sertraline and that shuts the voice up
Mine was hyper critical though, and part of depression

Do you actually HEAR a voice? Or is it an internal monologue and more like what happens when you are reading a book?

Mine is something like that meme there's 57 tabs open all wittering away about different subjects and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

I don't and neither do dc who are diagnosed with ADHD.

I read up on internal monologues as I'd seen the link with ADHD and expected DC would have it. Turns out it's not the norm to have one but it is very common.

Does the voice seem like / sound like it’s not you? Like it’s someone else, even though it’s coming from your brain. Hearing voices is more common than ppl realise and not necessarily part of a mh condition but it can be. Jumping in front of a train is an example of intrusive thoughts which is quite common but can be managed if it bothers you. The not managing to get things done could be part of adhd as pp have said, but equally could just be a chaotic personality type. The fantasies aren’t delusions because you don’t believe them and don’t sound psychotic. You’re definitely not crazy. You may have a mh condition or (more than one) or you may just benefit from some therapy / cbt anyway, as most ppl would. Tell gp and ask for a referral.

I have a very active internal monologue but I don’t think it thinks I’m someone else. It mostly just replays conversations and scenarios or it reminds me to do things

I think you need the GP appointment. The good news is that you are able to function. If it makes you feel any better, I talk to myself really loudly. I've had full on debates with both sides firing off in my head. Sometimes people must think I'm not normal when I start shouting to myself. I don't know what it means but I've actually come to the conclusion there's nothing I can do about it.

I love the name "Over the Shoulder Baby Holder" LOL

Oh sorry, I have replied to the wrong thread!

It scares me a bit but also, by the time I have realised I’ve thought it, the rational side kicks in.

I think one of the current theories about those thoughts/imp of the perverse is it's your amygdala pointing out danger. A survival function but one that freaks us out because we so rarely encounter bodily threat in modern life.

I recognise a lot of that. In fact the only thing I really don't recognise is expecting others to join in.
I don't know if it's normal or not, because I've always done it.

Hi OP. I’d ask the GP to refer you for assessment with a clinical psychologist. This isn’t something a primary care team would necessarily assess, more likely the community mental health team (which is secondary care, and must be assessed via a professional referral).
I’m a clinician, but I obviously can’t offer any professional advice here. I’d suggest making sense of this with someone who understands neurodiversity and mental health. :)

Btw, even if it isn’t “normal”, it doesn’t make you “crazy”.

She said she believes them while they’re happening

I just want to say you're an amazing writer and your descriptions in the first post are gripping. I could feel it.

I have a voice in my head but that's been reduced with ADHD meds.

I also have psychosis and take anti psychotic drugs which deals with the external voice I hear.

Worth a trip to the GP, OP?

How does this inner voice compare to when you were suffering from psychosis OP? I suffered a severe psychotic episode myself many years ago and remember that vividly. The early intervention team might need to get involved with you again, just to speak to you and see if they can provide help with these thoughts. Maybe you need to go back on medication for a bit? If you do, it’s amazing you’ve taken the first step by reaching out to people and making a GP appointment. Something like 85% (approx) have a relapse of psychosis, I am always on my guard. Have you been stressed and/or sleeping badly lately? That can be triggers.

I find this all really interesting, me and my mum both have aphantasia, neither of us can visualise anything in our heads. I guess I have an internal monologue but to me it is just 'thinking'. DH can visualise and ds who has ASD can visualise but also likes to speak his inner dialogue aloud - as it makes it seem more real/concrete to him.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if you were ND OP. The procrastination and poor organisational skills you talk about are typical with poor executive function and common amongst those that are ND. I understand all that completely. Your inner voice sounds very critical though - were your parents very critical of your poor executive function when you were a child by any chance? Or maybe you are just very critical of yourself because of your differences?

I can't relate to the tv personality bit but yes to everything else and the bloody voice never shuts up. Sometimes it's just songs and I can wake in the night with it singing. Can be 2 songs sometimes too 🤯. It narrated this post ahead of me typing it and plans conversations. I think it's normal although only recently I've learned not everyone even has an internal monologue let alone a chatty one like mine. I'd like to think they are the exception rather than the rule 😬

The psychosis was REALLY angry, and almost unworldly, almost like the Devil or something. What it was telling me to do I didn’t do. Instead I phoned a relative and asked them to come and help me. It was nine years ago and I can still hear it if I try to, but obviously I try not to.
This isn’t that. It’s a bossy voice but not as angry.

You mention a previous psychotic episode, OP.

Are you still on medication, and/or under a care team?

I think I would speak to someone about this. Some of what you say could be everyone internal thoughts, but some of it seems like it could do with some exploration.