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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not letting DD pick what she wants at food shopping?

144 replies

DariaK · 19/08/2023 21:07

DD will only eat home cooked meals, veggies, etc. if she can add that bloody Nando's garlic and herb sauce. It's the mild dipping sauce, comes in a glass bottle.

I'm happy to buy one bottle per food shop but it's not lasting her, she has shit loads with one meal. I'd need to buy about 3 bottles I reckon. If we run out or don't have it, she literally won't eat the meals at all and will have toast or cereal.

AIBU to not buy it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
bellac11 · 19/08/2023 21:51

DariaK · 19/08/2023 21:48

I'd say it's quite recent but also not really as it feels like it's been forever, I'd say it's the last 6 months or so.

Well I cook things like shepards pie, cottage pie, roast dinners, sausages and mash, we don't really have pasta much but she has added it to Mac and cheese.

To be honest I love a condiment or several

We have a whole cupboard full of different sauces, jars, chutneys, condiments.

I had some macaroni cheese this evening with american mustard.

rabbithearted · 19/08/2023 21:54

CeeceeBloomingdale · 19/08/2023 21:45

Lidl do a copy of it for £1.49. I'd buy a few of those and decant them into the Nandos bottle.

I wouldn't lie to her but I would be buying it and asking her to try it, if it's not an obsession with the brand and instead the taste it might be similar enough to be fine

Bootsandbooks · 19/08/2023 21:58

Yes, you are being unreasonable

Herejusttocomment · 19/08/2023 22:00

DariaK · 19/08/2023 21:48

I'd say it's quite recent but also not really as it feels like it's been forever, I'd say it's the last 6 months or so.

Well I cook things like shepards pie, cottage pie, roast dinners, sausages and mash, we don't really have pasta much but she has added it to Mac and cheese.

Sounds like she wants more flavour to her meals. Honestly, I'd be asking her if that's the issue (as long as you don't get offended if she doesn't like your way of cooking). If it is, you two could experiment with different sauces that don't cost as much or with different herbs and spices she could add herself if she's the only one in the family with these tastes.

Or like a PP said buy her the sauce and portion it up.

Honeychickpea · 19/08/2023 22:01

hennybeans · 19/08/2023 21:49

I see many are saying to just buy more sauce, this isn’t the hill to die on. But I think I probably would go the other way and stop buying it altogether. It sounds like dd’s behaviour is quite manipulative- buy plenty of sauce or i I won’t eat. That’s just ridiculous behaviour. It’s ok to prefer a sauce, but you need to be reasonable about it. And not eating the prepared dinner because you don’t have your sauce isn’t something I would allow or encourage by buying even more sauce.

I agree. Very much 12 yr old "See how high I can make my mother jump" behavior. Detach.

usernother · 19/08/2023 22:02

I'd buy a cheaper version and pour it into the Nandos bottle

dancinfeet · 19/08/2023 22:03

do you have a Home Bargains near you? they usually have it in there about half of the price of the supermarkets, my eldest DD loves the lemon and herb one- it’s her go to cooking and dipping sauce.

Startrekkeruniverse · 19/08/2023 22:04

I wouldn’t be pandering to her. She’s 12, not 2 and far too old to be throwing a strop/refusing to eat what you’ve cooked just because she’s run out of Nando’s sauce.

panko · 19/08/2023 22:05

DariaK · 19/08/2023 21:48

I'd say it's quite recent but also not really as it feels like it's been forever, I'd say it's the last 6 months or so.

Well I cook things like shepards pie, cottage pie, roast dinners, sausages and mash, we don't really have pasta much but she has added it to Mac and cheese.

Sounds like she's ready to try some more exciting foods if possible? Curry?

Mac and cheese is so dull I find.

Original poster
DariaK · 19/08/2023 22:06

Helpful to know about Lidl, I'll definitely be getting some! I don't think she would mind it's off brand so will probably tell her.

To be honest, you're right, my cooking is very boring really with the meals I do cook. I'm not the best chef in the world I must admit but no one else seems to mind those kinds of dinners and neither does she is she can have the bloody sauce with it. You might be right though as the question asked earlier about how it works when she eats out, if we are in a restaurant, she doesn't need it... which I only just thought about now I was asked that question but eating around other houses is the exact same as at home, she often will not have the dinner and just have toast or cereal or anything like crisps, etc

OP posts:
Gymnopedie · 19/08/2023 22:06

Bookish88 · 19/08/2023 21:44

Personally I'd pick my battles and just buy the sauce. It's £12, hardly the end of the world 🤷‍♀️

£12 a week - just on sauce - isn't the end of the world??

For some people it's half a week (or even a week)'s worth of shopping. I'm guessing you've never been in a situation where there's too much month left at the end of the money. Check your privilege.

MrsMarzetti · 19/08/2023 22:08

SlippySarah · 19/08/2023 21:33

I wouldn't make this the hill I died on. My brother used to have tomato ketchup on every meal as a kid and it used to wind my mum right up because she thought it ruined her lovely home cooked food. He grew out of it fairly quickly. Unless you really can't afford it I'd try to ignore it.

Ketchup wouldn't be costing £48 a month. Would you spend £500 a year on sauce for one child ? OP i would buy one bottle a week, she will soon get fed up only eating toast or cereal which by the way she can eat without sauce so therefore it's not that she can't eat without sauce, she won't.

Wolfiefan · 19/08/2023 22:09

Refuse the crisps or cereal? You didn’t eat all your dinner so you can’t be hungry? I wouldn’t be buying three bottles a week.
Can she help meal plan? So she has some choice?

SkankingWombat · 19/08/2023 22:09

justasking111 · 19/08/2023 21:51

There's some great copy cat recipes to try on Google. No disrespect @DariaK but your recipes/dishes are very conservative/dull. Both of you try experimenting a bit. Sit with some recipes together and do a meal plan

I agree about the dishes too. They are all 'solid traditional British' meals with little flavour variations to which I, now I think about it, would always add English mustard to (although in nowhere near the same quantities as your DD adds her sauce). DH would also add ketchup, mustard or hot sauce to them, depending on his mood.

SuperiorM · 19/08/2023 22:11

If it’s spicy then you need to wean her back to small amounts as it will destroy het taste sense. If you had vindaloo every night it would be bad for you in terms of making you not be able to taste anything subtle

wizzywig · 19/08/2023 22:11

Just make a separate portion of your food for her with chilli powder and seasoning on it.

Original poster
DariaK · 19/08/2023 22:11

If I refuse she will genuinely go 6 days of toast or cereal for dinner. 6 days is the longest there was without the sauce in the house, I dread to think how long she would go and honestly it's then a decision of do I want to see her eat more of that or actually have some decent nutrition.

If I refuse the toast or cereal do I really just let her go hungry? I'm afraid she actually would!

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 19/08/2023 22:11

If you can afford it, I would just let her have the sauce she likes. Developing and asserting preference is a normal part of adolescence. It's also quite common to have a few safe foods that make meals more familiar and less daunting - if that's a need for her at the moment I would just fulfil it without any fuss. You could talk to her about why she likes it so much, look at the ingredients and flavours and see if she can expand on it, make a marinade for chicken using fresh lemon and herbs and oil etc...but I wouldn't push it if she doesn't want to.

She's not demanding a limitless flow of Wagon Wheels and Wotsits. She eats what you cook. Pick your battles.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 19/08/2023 22:12

Judging by the ingredients listed on the label, it wouldn't be that hard to make it yourselves:
Water, Vinegar, Onion Purée (6%), Lemon Purée (4%), Sunflower Seed Oil, Garlic Purée (2.5%), Salt, Spices and Herb (Cayenne Pepper, Paprika, Parsley, African Bird's Eye Chilli), Stabilisers (Xanthan Gum, Propylene Glycol Alginate), Antioxidants (Ascorbic Acid, Rosemary Extract), Spice Extract (Paprika), Dextrose.

As you'll be making it at home and eating it fresh (or relatively soon) you can leave out the stabilisers and antioxidants. Dextrose often comes from cornflour, and is a type of sugar, just used as a sweetener and in very low quantities in this recipe, so you could also leave it out.

This might be a great way to get your DD interested in cooking more. Good luck!

Honeychickpea · 19/08/2023 22:14

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 19/08/2023 22:12

Judging by the ingredients listed on the label, it wouldn't be that hard to make it yourselves:
Water, Vinegar, Onion Purée (6%), Lemon Purée (4%), Sunflower Seed Oil, Garlic Purée (2.5%), Salt, Spices and Herb (Cayenne Pepper, Paprika, Parsley, African Bird's Eye Chilli), Stabilisers (Xanthan Gum, Propylene Glycol Alginate), Antioxidants (Ascorbic Acid, Rosemary Extract), Spice Extract (Paprika), Dextrose.

As you'll be making it at home and eating it fresh (or relatively soon) you can leave out the stabilisers and antioxidants. Dextrose often comes from cornflour, and is a type of sugar, just used as a sweetener and in very low quantities in this recipe, so you could also leave it out.

This might be a great way to get your DD interested in cooking more. Good luck!

Good luck with getting an obnoxious 12 yr old to replicate that.

DorasDog · 19/08/2023 22:14

Maybe she just wants some flavour in her food? Your cooking all sounds a bit “meat and potatoes”, could you look at some recipes online with her that do have garlic and lemon and herbs in ?

Nigella Lawson has some great chicken tray bake recipes, they are really easy but have flavour too

randomusernam · 19/08/2023 22:15

No toast or cereal as an option. She has her meal and if she chooses not to eat it she goes hungry

UndercoverCop · 19/08/2023 22:17

Your meals are on the simpler side taste wise, I love spicy food and would get bored eating very traditional British food most of the time. This is a great time to get her a simple cookbook and get her into coming tasty even spicy food, the pinch of nom books are pretty straightforward and have fakeway type recipes she might like. Also gives you/DH a night off from cooking occasionally

Iusedtoliveinsanfrancisco · 19/08/2023 22:17

one bottle is plenty just tell her that’s the rule. Let her portion it out. Refuse to engage in chat about it or just repeat yourself. She will not starve, she won’t get ill. Of course she’ll be annoyed she can’t manipulate you into spending so much on sauce. But she will deal with it. Ignore the above if she’s got other issues, autistic, LDs. Etc