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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was unreasonable train staff or passenger

147 replies

Chaoscreated · 19/08/2023 15:31

Name changed
I am travelling today and witnessed a commotion between train worker and a passenger.
I do not have all specific details.
the train is around a 3 hour journey but there was no reserved seats and was a super off peak train.
due to cancellations of other trains this train became very busy.
I got on the train and there was no seats available in the carriage or the ones either side.
a women was getting on with a child and 2 large suitcases and a backpack.
she was getting assistance but they left as soon she boarded. There was no room. We were all at this point hovering at end of carriage by the doors.
the child got emotional and cried that she couldn’t stand that long.
the train worker came past and the women had asked if it was possible to pay to go to first class and explained that Her DC was disabled. They said there wasn’t any way but
then told us all that carriage A had seats but we couldn’t walk through the train and so the first stop we could get off and walk down and get back on.
women explained that it might take them a while because her DC is not very fast. She did not specify what was wrong with her DC but she seemed to have some form of tube.
they told her as we were standing right there they would have time and not to worry they would not Leave with out them.
the DC then sat on the floor until the stop.
myself, sister and 2 other men got off to make our way to carriage A. We did not have luggage so got off faster, anyway after she got her luggage off the train, she ran behind us but fell behind because of DC.
eventually they joined us on the carriage but there was a commotion
1.the train worker had got stressed with DC on the platform and started shouting they needed to move faster as train was going to go without them. 2. no one assisted like the said they would. 3. Due to her being the last of the group who got back on from original carriage the 4 available seats were now taking by the other 4 of us.
she wants a refund and he was saying it wasn’t their fault nothing they can do so she was going to put a complaint in. By the this point the whole Carriage could hear what was Going on.
she stood by luggage area and Dc sat on floor.
was she unreasonable ?

Note from MNHQ: please read the OP's subsequent posts before responding. She's admitted this thread is a reverse (and apologised for it!) but would still like MNers' opinions.

OP posts:
Toffeebythesea · 19/08/2023 16:01

I can't believe you didn't offer to help her with her bags or give up your seat

PickledPurplePickle · 19/08/2023 16:02

So none of you stopped to help her and none of you gave you your seat for a disabled child - selfish

FutureThroughLensOfThePast · 19/08/2023 16:02

The train manager should have helped your DC get a seat in carriage A.

They can't magic up seats where there are none or force people to move, but an appeal from an official to their better natures might have worked.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 19/08/2023 16:02

That is genuinely awful. Literally everyone was unreasonable in this scenario apart from you and DC. You should never have had to move carriages in the first place. Another passenger should have moved.

Brefugee · 19/08/2023 16:03

write to the union who are posting so much about the ticket offices being closed.
Ask them why their members don't help the members of public who need help - this is why stations need staff, they should be encouraging them to help passengers as much as possible and posting proof of this as part of their campaign to save jobs/staff.

NowItsSpring · 19/08/2023 16:03

L1ttledrummergirl · 19/08/2023 15:34

Anyone who didn't offer a child with an obvious disability was selfish, unreasonable and an arsehole in my opinion.

This!

Original poster
Chaoscreated · 19/08/2023 16:04

I should add the train was originally reserved seating but cancellations of trains and something so with amount of carriages it had become unreserved.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 19/08/2023 16:04

I don’t see why this is between the train worker or the woman (i.e. you). The other four passengers were quite unreasonable and certainly very rude and selfish.

But having said that, I don’t think you are entitled to a refund either, as much as we would like for there to be a seat for everybody on the train, it is quite normal to sometimes have to stand and train companies don’t give refunds for that.

Balloonhearts · 19/08/2023 16:04

Why didn't one of the seated passengers not give the child their seat and move to carriage A themselves? What dickheads.

ChoccyBickies · 19/08/2023 16:06

You are allowed to move between carriages on a train as long as the doors between the carriages open.

So you were that woman you are posting about.

What sort of response do you expect?

Are you saying no one helped you?

Is that your gripe?

If so, it's justified.

FloweryName · 19/08/2023 16:07

I had sympathy with the mother in this story until the reverse. 🙄

The other people might have disabilities and booked seats on their original trains too so no one here is more entitled to the seats than anyone else and the train company are the only ones at fault. They deserve a complaint for the shouting and for not ensuring that disabled passengers could access disabled priority seats.

LadyKenya · 19/08/2023 16:08

DisforDarkChocolate · 19/08/2023 15:36

Feck this is depressing, I can't understand why you wouldn't give your seat to a disabled child, or help the woman instead of hurrying ahead.

This. I wonder if I am missing some information here otherwise. Why not offer to help?

Banditqueen12 · 19/08/2023 16:08

So the four able-bodied adults rushed for the seats and deliberately took them despite knowing that a disabled child required to sit down? And you were one of those selfish adults? Gosh, that's a tough one. Were you being unreasonable? Yes.

cpphelp · 19/08/2023 16:08

I think you, your sister, and all within hearing distance were unreasonable not to help with cases to move.
Also, the bastards sat down in their seats were unreasonable not to move for a child in need of a seat.
The lot of you, awful.
Mum - hero

EhrlicheFrau · 19/08/2023 16:09

Chaoscreated · 19/08/2023 15:31

Name changed
I am travelling today and witnessed a commotion between train worker and a passenger.
I do not have all specific details.
the train is around a 3 hour journey but there was no reserved seats and was a super off peak train.
due to cancellations of other trains this train became very busy.
I got on the train and there was no seats available in the carriage or the ones either side.
a women was getting on with a child and 2 large suitcases and a backpack.
she was getting assistance but they left as soon she boarded. There was no room. We were all at this point hovering at end of carriage by the doors.
the child got emotional and cried that she couldn’t stand that long.
the train worker came past and the women had asked if it was possible to pay to go to first class and explained that Her DC was disabled. They said there wasn’t any way but
then told us all that carriage A had seats but we couldn’t walk through the train and so the first stop we could get off and walk down and get back on.
women explained that it might take them a while because her DC is not very fast. She did not specify what was wrong with her DC but she seemed to have some form of tube.
they told her as we were standing right there they would have time and not to worry they would not Leave with out them.
the DC then sat on the floor until the stop.
myself, sister and 2 other men got off to make our way to carriage A. We did not have luggage so got off faster, anyway after she got her luggage off the train, she ran behind us but fell behind because of DC.
eventually they joined us on the carriage but there was a commotion
1.the train worker had got stressed with DC on the platform and started shouting they needed to move faster as train was going to go without them. 2. no one assisted like the said they would. 3. Due to her being the last of the group who got back on from original carriage the 4 available seats were now taking by the other 4 of us.
she wants a refund and he was saying it wasn’t their fault nothing they can do so she was going to put a complaint in. By the this point the whole Carriage could hear what was Going on.
she stood by luggage area and Dc sat on floor.
was she unreasonable ?

Note from MNHQ: please read the OP's subsequent posts before responding. She's admitted this thread is a reverse (and apologised for it!) but would still like MNers' opinions.

Why did you all take the last 4 seats when you knew the whole reason that the lady with the disabled child was moving carriages was for the child to get a seat?

FloatyBoaty · 19/08/2023 16:09

I haven’t been on here for YONKS logged in, but just wanted to say 1. Of course you’re not unreasonable. And 2. Actually some train companies do offer a seat guarantee and compensation, if you have a reserved seat and can’t sit in it. So do check. It works the same as delay repay, on LNER at least.

getting back in my box now!

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 16:10

Due to her being the last of the group who got back on from original carriage the 4 available seats were now taking by the other 4 of us
Why didn't you give her your seat?! Or, as I'm pretty sure this is a reverse, they should have given you the seats they sharp elbowed their way into, it's got nothing to do with the train guard.

DuckBushCityLimit · 19/08/2023 16:10

Sorry you had such a shitty journey, op, and that you encountered a bunch of selfish cunts that made it worse for you.

It is worth complaining to the train operator, btw. We had a similarly crammed train home from holiday last week due to cancellations before and after our service. Our reserved seats no longer existed and so we had to stand in the aisle, and to make it worse the aircon was faulty so it was stiflingly hot. I complained and they offered a partial refund.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/08/2023 16:10

The other passengers should have helped her and offered her child a seat. Incredible that no one did.

category12 · 19/08/2023 16:11

Wow, the people who took the last remaining seats over a disabled child were absolute cunts.

Form1ess · 19/08/2023 16:12

The train manager could've declassified the carriages so you could sit in First class. They often do this when trains are cancelled and people are standing (in my experience). You have my sympathies that's a horrible thing to happen to you and DC

EhrlicheFrau · 19/08/2023 16:14

EhrlicheFrau · 19/08/2023 16:09

Why did you all take the last 4 seats when you knew the whole reason that the lady with the disabled child was moving carriages was for the child to get a seat?

Show quote history

Ah, I was just about to post another comment asking 'is this a reverse' and I saw your additional comments - of course someone should have helped you move, and also someone should have run ahead and bagged a seat for your daughter at least.

CoffeeCantata · 19/08/2023 16:15

Oh God - this is so depressing. It just confirms my view (although I'm a massive supporter of public transport in principle) that the railways in this country are hopeless for all but the most able-bodied and fit. It's an appalling situation.

And I've found that railway staff are rarely available or willing to help anyone very much - they tend to do the bare minimum with not very good grace. I have met exceptions, but the public need to feel confident that they'll get the help they need when they need it.

category12 · 19/08/2023 16:16

Did you try asking anyone to give up their seat for your child?

MargaretThursday · 19/08/2023 16:19

You also can't assume they saw the tube on your dc or that your dc was being factual in saying she couldn't stand, it could have come across as a strop. They may have only heard the guard say "seats in carriage A". You also have no way of knowing that there weren't reasons why they couldn't stand too.

If you got assistance, then they should have helped you to find your reserved seats when you first got on. That's what's happened when dd has used assistance, and one of the reasons why she has used it. They will quite happily tell someone to move out of your seats for you. If there reservations have been cancelled, as has happened with dd, then they ask people in the priority seats to move. Ask them to do that next time, explain that she can't stand. It would only be for her though, not both of you, so you would be standing next to her, unless she'll go on your knee. But that's fine.
I don't think you could have expected assistance to move carriages though. It's normally only at the stations you change at.

I will also say that I have had people move for me when I've had small children, without asking - and I will also move for someone who is clearly struggling. But if they're kicking off, I tend to keep out of it, having once offered and then been yelled at for not offering quicker (it was my reserved seat too...)

And for another time, find an area where you can make a comfy seat out of luggage for your dc. They can normally make themselves comfortable on a suitcase. I've travelled several times with dc like that, and done it myself too.