Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does being married to a doctor make you middle class?

137 replies

GirlGeorgina · 19/08/2023 15:05

Like if you got married to a doctor (who is male) and you’re not a doctor yourself, does it make you middle class now?

I am not married but someone who is marrying a doctor but not a doctor herself said it makes you middle class too.

Yes it does - YANBU

No it doesn’t - YABU

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 19/08/2023 18:18

CallmeIT · 19/08/2023 15:09

What if the doctor is working class? 🤔

Not possible is it?
And if you mean, from a working class background originally, that also seems to be quite rare.

Labbingtons · 19/08/2023 18:21

You do understand that class is a social construct, right? And as such is only a ‘thing’ through people’s perceptions.

If you think marrying a doctor will make you middle class, then go for it, call yourself middle class. But doing so won’t change anything in the outside world. It’s not like men appear in the night with a mysterious delivery of an Aga, a Labrador and a wardrobe from Toast.

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 18:23

we are what we see so WC kids don't mix with doctors, so don't immediately think of that as a career
Well, I never... 😂

wheresthesungone · 19/08/2023 18:25

I would say so yes. Unlike it was a struggling junior doctor and you were unemployed.

VyeBrator · 19/08/2023 18:26

Not that I ever think about class unless I'm on MN which seems obsessed with it but for some reason I would assume an A&E Doctor would be more likely working class, but a GP would be middle class?

I have literally no idea why I think this though, it doesn't even make sense now I'm thinking about it properly!

Jericha · 19/08/2023 18:29

My grandpa would say so, he was super proud my relative became a doctor and the apparent social standing that comes with it. He wasn't so smug when my relative then became a SAHD as his working class wife he met at university became a consultant Grin

Flippingfruitflies · 19/08/2023 18:30

My cousin’s a doctor. He was raised in a council house by his single mother. Never knew his father. He thinks of himself as working class. I don’t think being married to a doctor makes you middle class.

Tryingmuchharder · 19/08/2023 18:42

Why is a particular 'class' or belief in one so important to some people?

Cringe. Do people still bother with this nonsense? We are all the same, some earn more, some have more (much more) privilege than others. Some have an easier start in life. Some have private education etc etc.

taybert · 19/08/2023 18:45

The thing is, marrying a doctor could result in an overnight delivery of an Aga, a Labrador and a wardrobe from toast, because those are just things you can get with money, which a certain type of “middle class” person is often at pains to point out that class has little to do with.

It’s all bollocks though isn’t it? If you’ve got working class roots but you’re a professional with markers of being middle class then you’re either a grasping climber or a working class traitor. There are loads of professionals in that position, most of them don’t talk about it much, due to the above. Also, turns out, you can have an aga, a Labrador and a wardrobe from toast, vote labour, speak with a northern accent, send your kids to independent school, eat egg and chips and watch Coronation Street because the class system means nothing.

DrSbaitso · 19/08/2023 18:58

Tryingmuchharder · 19/08/2023 18:42

Why is a particular 'class' or belief in one so important to some people?

Cringe. Do people still bother with this nonsense? We are all the same, some earn more, some have more (much more) privilege than others. Some have an easier start in life. Some have private education etc etc.

It would be disingenuous to pretend it doesn't exist and has no bearing on attitudes and outcomes in real life, but MN is definitely completely obsessed. Couldn't count the number of times someone on here has tried to tell me I'm wrong because their MIL is a duchess and agrees with them or whatever. Insult of choice is frequently something equivalent to "well you obviously aren't middle class", from which there can be no comeback, apparently.

There's also a really nasty tendency to mask classism as morality. So you sneer at anything "lower class", which is usually cheap and accessible, for being wasteful or bad for the environment or showy, but these judgements are never levelled at middle class signifiers like expensive foreign holidays or the latest tech. People use phrases like "a different sort of clientele" with absolutely no irony and think they don't sound like raging twats.

But with all that said, MN's obsession with class does also mean it's a honey pot for a certain type of troll who knows exactly what buttons to push (the huge red ones with neon signs reading PRESS HERE). So while there is a class obsession on here, not everything you see about it is genuine...

FoodFann · 19/08/2023 19:00

Fuckthatguy · 19/08/2023 15:11

No, it doesn’t unless you have middle class values.

Income doesn’t denote class.

I agree with this

DojaPhat · 19/08/2023 19:03

It shocks me in 2023 that many women still take pride in announcing at any and every given opportunity what their husband does for a living.

bleuclair · 19/08/2023 19:13

MissFancyDay · 19/08/2023 17:23

The whole act of going to university, and becoming a doctor changes you from working class to middle class.

Not necessarily.

HarrietJet · 19/08/2023 19:15

The whole act of going to university, and becoming a doctor changes you from working class to middle class
This is quite a fascinating viewpoint. Particularly these days when just about everyone and his dog goes to uni.

WelshNerd · 19/08/2023 19:43

Menopausehaver · 19/08/2023 18:17

My friend is a cleaner, she lives in a very posh area in a four bedroom house, what is she?

Easy, She's a cleaner.

Anxioys · 19/08/2023 19:44

DojaPhat · 19/08/2023 19:03

It shocks me in 2023 that many women still take pride in announcing at any and every given opportunity what their husband does for a living.

Well it's a high point for them. I never met a woman of her own means who had to do "my husband..."

Zzzz

Helpfulperson123 · 19/08/2023 19:45

If you need to ask, you aren’t middle class.

Lbym197 · 19/08/2023 19:46

GalileoHumpkins · 19/08/2023 15:09

What's the obsession with being middle class, it's all a bit pathetic, isn't it?

I agree with you

bleuclair · 19/08/2023 19:46

Helpfulperson123 · 19/08/2023 19:45

If you need to ask, you aren’t middle class.

True.

Jk987 · 19/08/2023 19:49

Get your own profession and be classy whatever your so-called meaningless class! Don't marry someone to claim a badge of honour! Hmm

jgjgjgjgjg · 19/08/2023 20:06

No.

It is very possible for a Dr to be married to someone who is firmly working class.

Helpfulperson123 · 19/08/2023 20:51

What colour car do they drive?

NewName122 · 19/08/2023 20:57

I'd say no but that's because my friends a doctor and I've never looked at her as middle class or remotely 'well off'.

OriginalBin · 20/08/2023 00:57

FoodFann · 19/08/2023 19:00

I agree with this

Show quote history

Do inform us what ‘middle class values’ are?

Swipe left for the next trending thread