Page 3 | Does being married to a doctor make you middle class?

GirlGeorgina · 2023-08-19T14:05:36+00:00

Like if you got married to a doctor (who is male) and you’re not a doctor yourself, does it make you middle class now? I am not married but someone who is marrying a doctor but not a doctor herself said it makes you middle class too. Yes it does - YANBU No it doesn’t - YABU

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 19/08/2023 16:40

Thelaundryfairyhasbeenassassinated · 19/08/2023 16:13

Itsnotrightbutitsok

I didn’t know WC doctors was even a thing! Lol
I’m really shocked at that and quite happy to know that

Your shocked that working class people produce children who are capable of becoming doctors?

Seriously what year are people living in here.

Do you know the statistics of WC people going onto FE, let alone HE?
Going on to something like medicine is of course possible but it’s very rare.

As someone who tried to go down that route and failed after years of trying, it was glaringly obvious that I was very different to everyone I was up against.

This was 10 years ago and I know that medicine does now have certain places which are aimed at people from less privileged backgrounds but the places are very competitive.

Tippexy · 19/08/2023 16:41

CallmeIT · 19/08/2023 15:09

What if the doctor is working class? 🤔

Not possible.

Anxioys · 19/08/2023 16:43

AttractiveAlpaca · 19/08/2023 16:18

This is the second thread today on AIBU about middle class signifiers.

In both cases, the OP has not returned to the thread.

Expect to see a feature soon in the Daily Fail How to spot if you are middle class (Hint: you won't be reading that right wing rag)

Okay. Reading the Daily Mail means you are not middle class.

tt9 · 19/08/2023 16:58

erm.... docs are not middle class by default.

it's an extremely diverse group and i know people of all sorts of backgrounds at work.

and in this day and age are these social class distinctions even relevant?

and what is the obsession with class on mumsnet these days?! seem to see a thread about it every other day

Berlinlover · 19/08/2023 17:00

As an Irish person I find MN obsession with class fascinating. This just doesn’t exist in Ireland.

OriginalBin · 19/08/2023 17:05

My GP and I went to the same dog-rough failing school on the same sink estate, two years apart. A high proportion of former classmates have addiction issues and petty criminal records. Now she’s a doctor and I am an academic (with a doctorate).

Whether you would class either of us as middle-class will depend on whether you give birth and upbringing more or less emphasis than education and profession.

Maybe we’re exactly the same as our old schoolmates? If not, have we ‘become’ middle-class purely because of our jobs? If she’d married her teenage boyfriend, now a mechanic, and still become a doctor, would that mean she was less middle-class? I married someone from an even rougher part of town, but he has similar educational attainments to me plus earns more than either my GP or me. How do you weight income into this?

What about hobbies? Does liking opera give me middle-class points? My GP plays on a pub darts team, on the other hand. But also windsurfs.

Hbh17 · 19/08/2023 17:08

Many doctors may come from working class backgrounds, but they are highly educated and employed in one of the most demanding professions - of course they are middle class, and it's naive to think otherwise.
Social class can and often does change during someone's lifetime, and I'm baffled by the seeming reverse snobbery of people who seems desperate to cling on to their working class "credentials".
The current Princess of Wales was middle class by birth and background but is now upper class by virtue of marriage and her public role. Whereas Princess Diana was upper class from the day she was born and (arguably) married "beneath her" 😂

hopeishere · 19/08/2023 17:09

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 19/08/2023 16:06

I didn’t know WC doctors was even a thing! Lol
I’m really shocked at that and quite happy to know that.

I would definitely say becoming or marrying a doctor makes you MC.

I don’t think it matters at all but I do think being a doctor is one of the few professions that does change your class or definitely your childrens class.

You're shocked someone from a WC background could become a doctor??

As a pp said it's is more likely you will be MC - we are what we see so WC kids don't mix with doctors, so don't immediately think of that as a career, it's a longer course so needs more funding, it's harder to get the right work experience for your medical school application etc etc but it's not a closed shop.

Re the OP they will probably have a Mc lifestyle but she may still be "looked down" on if she gets it wrong in terms of clothing, manners, accent etc.

OriginalBin · 19/08/2023 17:13

Berlinlover · 19/08/2023 17:00

As an Irish person I find MN obsession with class fascinating. This just doesn’t exist in Ireland.

It does, you know. It’s just less stratified, has less to do with education (far fewer private schools, so that’s less of a marker), and because it was such a rural population until so recently, the strong farmer/small farmer/smalltown shopkeeper/professional/clergy distinctions were more important.

When Normal People was on tv, I remember threads on here saying it was ‘unrealistic’, because Marianne, daughter of a pair of middle-class solicitors, and Connell, child of their cleaner, a single parent whose family includes petty criminals, would never be at school together — but in smalltown Ireland they are quite likely to be, unless Marianne had been sent to board elsewhere (and again, not many boarding schools). Education being more mixed in most (not all) of the country means a more mixed early environment.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 19/08/2023 17:16

bleuclair · 19/08/2023 15:51

A person with a working class background (council estate raised), and a regional accent might be technically middle class once qualified as a doctor, based on socioeconomic tables, but in the real world they wouldn't be accepted as middle class by many. It's not just about occupation or wealth.

A vague acquaintance of mine fits that very scenario (became a GP), and now describes herself as middle class. It doesn't sit comfortably with her working class family or her middle class friends and colleagues.

I would say this is very accurate.

BarbaraofSeville · 19/08/2023 17:19

Many doctors may come from working class backgrounds, but they are highly educated and employed in one of the most demanding professions - of course they are middle class, and it's naive to think otherwise

But surely it makes them a working class person with an education? Going to university doesn't change a their background.

I have a first in a STEM subject, professional qualifications and earn over £50k. But if you met me, no-one would consider me to be middle class.

ilovesooty · 19/08/2023 17:20

GalileoHumpkins · 19/08/2023 15:09

What's the obsession with being middle class, it's all a bit pathetic, isn't it?

Exactly. Why does anyone care?

LunaTheCat · 19/08/2023 17:21

GP here and I remain strong to my working class and leftist views .
The guy who came and did some electrical work at home earns more that me.
I have been sworn at and threatened.

Berlinlover · 19/08/2023 17:21

OriginalBin · 19/08/2023 17:13

It does, you know. It’s just less stratified, has less to do with education (far fewer private schools, so that’s less of a marker), and because it was such a rural population until so recently, the strong farmer/small farmer/smalltown shopkeeper/professional/clergy distinctions were more important.

When Normal People was on tv, I remember threads on here saying it was ‘unrealistic’, because Marianne, daughter of a pair of middle-class solicitors, and Connell, child of their cleaner, a single parent whose family includes petty criminals, would never be at school together — but in smalltown Ireland they are quite likely to be, unless Marianne had been sent to board elsewhere (and again, not many boarding schools). Education being more mixed in most (not all) of the country means a more mixed early environment.

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What I meant was nobody in Ireland would go on a forum asking complete strangers whether they were middle class, working class etc.

MissFancyDay · 19/08/2023 17:23

The whole act of going to university, and becoming a doctor changes you from working class to middle class.

itsmyp4rty · 19/08/2023 17:25

bleuclair · 19/08/2023 15:51

A person with a working class background (council estate raised), and a regional accent might be technically middle class once qualified as a doctor, based on socioeconomic tables, but in the real world they wouldn't be accepted as middle class by many. It's not just about occupation or wealth.

A vague acquaintance of mine fits that very scenario (became a GP), and now describes herself as middle class. It doesn't sit comfortably with her working class family or her middle class friends and colleagues.

Yes people who grew up on a council estate with a regional accent should stay in their lane and know their place. They're not welcome in the middle classes no matter how highly qualified they are. Goodness I can just imagine the most terrible discomfort all round.

itsmyp4rty · 19/08/2023 17:26

BarbaraofSeville · 19/08/2023 17:19

Many doctors may come from working class backgrounds, but they are highly educated and employed in one of the most demanding professions - of course they are middle class, and it's naive to think otherwise

But surely it makes them a working class person with an education? Going to university doesn't change a their background.

I have a first in a STEM subject, professional qualifications and earn over £50k. But if you met me, no-one would consider me to be middle class.

Why not?

OriginalBin · 19/08/2023 17:27

Berlinlover · 19/08/2023 17:21

What I meant was nobody in Ireland would go on a forum asking complete strangers whether they were middle class, working class etc.

Show quote history

We could go over to Craicnet…😀

PuddlesPityParty · 19/08/2023 17:38

BarbaraofSeville · 19/08/2023 17:19

Many doctors may come from working class backgrounds, but they are highly educated and employed in one of the most demanding professions - of course they are middle class, and it's naive to think otherwise

But surely it makes them a working class person with an education? Going to university doesn't change a their background.

I have a first in a STEM subject, professional qualifications and earn over £50k. But if you met me, no-one would consider me to be middle class.

You’d be seen as social class mover - upwards mobility. If you have kids, they wouldn’t be WC because of your profession and income but would probably have some WC values from you.

Amethys · 19/08/2023 18:06

5128gap · 19/08/2023 15:39

Your friends class would be defined by her occupation. However, if his is the only job in the house, she can choose to go with the traditional approach of taking her social class from her husband's occupation and defining as MC; or the more progressive one of defining it from her own (lack of) occupation, which would make her economically inactive.

This.

If she’s a housewife married to a doctor and spends her time at the country club and organising DC’s activities then yes she’s become middle class.

If she’s working as a cleaner then doesn’t matter what her husband does she ain’t middle class.

BarelyLiterate · 19/08/2023 18:14

That depends on the doctor. I have met many doctors, dentists & pharmacists who went to ordinary state schools, come from working class ethnic minority backgrounds and were the first person in their family to go to university.

I definitely wouldn’t describe them as middle class in any meaningful sense other than their jobs.

Menopausehaver · 19/08/2023 18:16

My dc is a Dr, what am I. (Broke)

WelshNerd · 19/08/2023 18:16

DinoDaddy · 19/08/2023 15:53

I am a Dr and I am working class.

And so is my wife!

Menopausehaver · 19/08/2023 18:17

My friend is a cleaner, she lives in a very posh area in a four bedroom house, what is she?

Vinvertebrate · 19/08/2023 18:18

I grew up in a council house, went to university and married a doctor. No idea what class that makes me, and couldn’t gaf either way, because I’m not a grasping aspirational twat —like the OP’s mate—