I've known my in-laws for 25 years. During this time we have spent a lot of time together. I am talking days, weekends, and holidays. Despite this, my in-laws know nothing about me. If asked, hey wouldn't know where I am from, how many siblings I have and their names etc. because they have never made any effort to get to know me and they are too busy talking about themselves to ask anyone else a question.
I have never seen my MIL, or FIL, or SIL's pay my DH any attention. I've not once seen a present come his way, or any general interest. As an extension of this, I have never received anything from them either. There have been many times I have struggled with my life, and my DC, and could have done with some help, but we have had none from them, despite one of them living in the same town as me. I'd call it indifference, but it isn't because there has been a lot of low level animosity in my direction, what I perceive as jealously, and pettiness.
So, I have been one of the many women on here over the years talking about my troubles with my in-laws and the lack of help. Often, they are told to form their own network and rely on friends. This is what I have done. I have my own network, and I am sorted.
The AIBU is as follows. Fast forward to now. My MIL and 2 SIL's have told my DH they would like to get to know me better. For some strange reason they have realised that actually, I am not so bad.
I've told DH that if they have had 25 years to get to know me, and not once made an effort, so thanks but no thanks. He is hurt that I have said this and thinks I should get to know them and it is a bit rude of me. I prefer the status quo. I'll be polite and welcoming on the rare occasions when I see them, but that is it. I feel they have got their heads together, and thrown me a very small fish, and they can keep it.
Who is BU here?