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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you feel about your partner mocking your accent?

89 replies

Chickentikka567 · 18/08/2023 07:31

He has a more 'RP' accent than I do, well a slight one, but the rest of this family a lot more.
Sometimes I'll say things and he'll repeat it but in a very heavy Northern accent, which I don't really have tbh.
It doesn't matter whether I have it or not, it's just an accent, but he exaggerates mine sometimes. Not sure how to feel?

OP posts:
Original poster
Chickentikka567 · 18/08/2023 07:32

But at times it makes me feel insecure.

OP posts:
Davidsdaughter · 18/08/2023 07:32

Is it meant to be an affectionate tease? If you don't like it just ask them to stop.

ExtraOnions · 18/08/2023 07:34

How is he mocking your accent, when you don’t have a Northern accent in the first place.

Original poster
Chickentikka567 · 18/08/2023 07:35

It likely is, but at times it makes me wonder whether he dislikes it or finds it 'common'. (Not saying it is at all but it makes me wonder)

OP posts:
Nochoiceleft · 18/08/2023 07:35

I am a southerner living in the north and in my family we sometimes tease each other about pronunciation of certain words but it’s all gentle fun with absolutely no malice. It doesn’t seem like this feels this way to you. You don’t have to put up with it.

panko · 18/08/2023 07:36

If you've told him you don't like it and he keeps doing it then he is a dick

Hufflepods · 18/08/2023 07:37

Doesn’t bother me if someone jokes about my accent. I still have a heavy regional accent despite living away and now in London for 15 years but it’s not something I have any insecurities over.

OriginalBin · 18/08/2023 07:38

Have you told him to stop? Is he still doing it, even after you’ve told him you don’t find it funny?

Girasoli · 18/08/2023 07:39

I think things like that are a bit mean if they are one sided - DH teases me occasionally when I have trouble with the English "th" sound, but I tease him sometimes about some of his East London slang and its all vary affectionate.

GCSister · 18/08/2023 07:40

panko · 18/08/2023 07:36

If you've told him you don't like it and he keeps doing it then he is a dick

This.

I went on a few dates with someone who mocked my accent. It was such a turn off and pissed me off tbh.

Anothernamethesamegame · 18/08/2023 07:40

I think what matters is that you are uncomfortable with it. Regardless of what others think or his intentions, you aren’t happy so he needs to know and stop.

Amonthinthecountry · 18/08/2023 07:48

I think it depends on context.

I’ve had this in the past with parents and extended family who speak with RP. It’s pretty annoying as although they say they are joking, I get the impression they genuinely feel that they speak “properly”.

Friends sometimes imitate me but that bothers me less as it feels like they’re kind of trying the accent on to see how it feels rather than taking the piss. They often have regional accents themselves though so that probs makes me less defensive.

calmcoco · 18/08/2023 07:52

panko · 18/08/2023 07:36

If you've told him you don't like it and he keeps doing it then he is a dick

I agree.

Also listen to your gut. We can usually feel what is 'affectionate teasing' and what is 'putting someone down' even though the words used are often extremely similar - it's about tone.

C0NNIE · 18/08/2023 07:53

panko · 18/08/2023 07:36

If you've told him you don't like it and he keeps doing it then he is a dick

This.

Niftyswiftie · 18/08/2023 07:55

My colleagues and I all mock each others accents and all laugh about it. We're all pretty laid back and joke about everything.

AuntieDolly · 18/08/2023 07:58

What does 'RP' mean?

cruffinsmuffin · 18/08/2023 08:00

I get it from my DHs northern family, I joke about their accents straight back! Similar to colleagues at work.

As PP have said though, if you don't like it and tell him and he keeps doing it, that's rude.

But if you're not sure how to feel (as in it doesn't upset you but you think it should?) then I'd just let it go? Surely if you didn't like it and it upset you you'd be certain how you felt?

heyitsthistle · 18/08/2023 08:00

AuntieDolly · 18/08/2023 07:58

What does 'RP' mean?

Received Pronunciation

cruffinsmuffin · 18/08/2023 08:01

AuntieDolly · 18/08/2023 07:58

What does 'RP' mean?

Received Pronunciation. It's the Queens (or kings!) English, I've heard it called Oxford English too.

Didimum · 18/08/2023 08:03

Chickentikka567 · 18/08/2023 07:35

It likely is, but at times it makes me wonder whether he dislikes it or finds it 'common'. (Not saying it is at all but it makes me wonder)

I have a regional accent that people have teased about all my life since I moved to London when I was 18. And yes, it does imply that they think the accent denotes stupidity or being ‘common’ (🙄whatever that means). I used to change my accent all through my 20s to RP to stop this happening, but in my 30s it was like a switch went off and I decided it was completely unacceptable. It’s my voice and it means nothing other than I was brought up in a certain region. DH, me and the kids have since moved to my region and DH (very RP) started not to like the kids picking up the regional accent. I’ve been very firm that no one should think lesser of someone over an accent and that it can be a form of prejudice and bullying.

historygeek · 18/08/2023 08:04

I think what matters here is that he is repeatedly doing doing something you don't like and have told him you don't like.
It does seem like he's undermining you a little.

Straightomyhead · 18/08/2023 08:05

I'm from the south and my boyfriend is from Manchester so we have very different accents. We are both teasing each other with words especially'half past' and 'half past'. The difference is that it goes both ways.

If I said I isn't like it for to stop, I know he would straight away and the same I would. Can you just be honest and said that you don't like it?

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 18/08/2023 08:06

If you told him you don't like it, and he keeps doing it then he's a twat. It's irrelevant what everyone else is doing and how they feel about it.

historygeek · 18/08/2023 08:06

AuntieDolly · 18/08/2023 07:58

What does 'RP' mean?

Received Pronunciation- speaking in a regionally neutral way

Sunshineandflipflops · 18/08/2023 08:06

Erm and my dp mock each other’s accents all the time! He says I’m a northerner (which I am to him but I’m not to me) and he is from London. It’s all fun but if one of us is feeling sensitive or doesn’t like it then we’ll stop.