How would you feel about your partner mocking your accent?

[Chickentikka567]

He has a more 'RP' accent than I do, well a slight one, but the rest of this family a lot more.
Sometimes I'll say things and he'll repeat it but in a very heavy Northern accent, which I don't really have tbh.
It doesn't matter whether I have it or not, it's just an accent, but he exaggerates mine sometimes. Not sure how to feel?

What a cunt

Except it's not regionally neutral. It means speaking like someone from the South of England even if you are from Harrogate or Edinburgh.
It's actually another "regional accent" just from the south of England.

My dh and I are from close areas, but slight differences in pronunciation. I laugh at his pronounciation at some words, he at mine. In the context of our relationship its fine, but if it either felt belittled by it then it would stop immediately. My bil is from a different area altogether, so the piss taking is relentless, but on both sides. As long as everyone is laughing its fine, but it you are laughing at someone not with them, then its belittling.

I have a Scottish friend who I’ve known for over 30 years, she’s never lost her strong accent and I will never let it go when she says clathes (clothes) and they (those) - it’s just a bit of fun, she also mocks some of the words I pronounce, neither of us have ever been offended. It’s ended up with us both crying in a heap of laughter when we’ve been ribbing each other.
The problem is you don’t like it and he’s ignored your request for him to stop. If he doesn’t respect you then what’s the point?

I was quoting the British Library...

My ex and I used to do it occasionally to each other. Itbwas a real.source of amusement to us both. If u don't like iy tell him or her.

DH and I mock each others accents all the time

But it's 100% in jest and I would never do it to hurt or belittle him. We just pronounce things very differently and it shows!

If it bothers you then tell him. My husband does it to me, doesn’t bother me it’s just teasing.

He sounds like a dickhead. So I'd not be happy about it!

Are you sure they are all 100% on board and aren't playing along so they don't rock the boat?

My English husband mocks my Scottish colloquialisms all but I just ramp it up and tell him to awa an bile yer heid

It's total snobbishness pure and simple.

It just annoys me. I don't feel insecure because there is nothing wrong with my accent. Just something wrong with his attitude.

It’s a bug bear of mine as I have a regional accent that’s widely hated, so I’ve faced this a lot. It sounds like he’s doing it in a snobbish way, which you’re picking up on. I will usually joke along, but I don’t like it when people mock my accent because it’s almost always people who speak RP, to imply I don’t speak “properly”, sometimes they even patronisingly repeat the word back in their accent like I’m a child who needs to be shown how to talk.

I’ve worked with people who have strong regional accents and they’ve also said they hate when people mimic them, so I don’t think most people do find it in good humour, even if they appear to joke back.

I have a close friend who had elocution lessons and went to boarding school who would regularly mimic people and voice her disdain for their accents. I got fed up one day and told her she was being a snob, she said she thought it was acceptable because I should know by now that everyone hates my kind of accent and I could just choose to speak differently! I obviously wasn’t happy with that and explained to her why it’s rude and snobbish and she did apologise and hasn’t done it (at least to my face) again.

The problem with people who speak in RP is that they don’t think they have an accent. They think they’re neutral and the rest of us have accents! I.e. they speak ‘properly’ and the rest of us are common muck. My ex used to mock my brummy accent, and even ‘correct’ me. He spoke in ‘neutral’ RP, it didn’t feel nice, it felt like he was laughing at me, not with me, and that my pronunciation was ‘wrong’, and his was ‘right’.

However, me and DH take the piss out of each other’s regional accents daily (northerner v brummy) and it feels fun and loving.

Exactly - RP isn't neutral, it's a regional accent from the South of England.

My other half is RP and I’m a northerner. Taking the piss out of how each of us talks is a frequent occurrence. I call him a posho and he says I say things wrong. We take the piss out of each other a lot for various things. I’m sure lots of people wouldn’t like it but we like the banter.

If it's a London or Essex accent I can see why he takes the piss.

It could do. How a person speaks is very personal to them, and it’s very difficult to be with someone whose voice you don’t like.

Tell him you find it snobbish, and old fashioned and hurtful. You don’t want to go out with someone who thinks RP is superior - and if he doesn’t think that and he’s just teasing you, then you don’t enjoy it. Either way it needs to stop.

If he takes it on the chin and stops you’re good. If he doesn’t, get rid.

My husband is a Scouser and I am what scousers would call a 'wool'. We take the mick out of each others accents all the time 🤣

It sounds like you both believe his accent indicates “better” than yours. If you felt equal you could laugh at these differences.
He shouldn’t do it if it bothered you but more importantly you should be proud of your accent. I’m Scottish and lived in London for years, I was and am proud of my accent because I genuinely prefer it to RP and I would most definitely give as good as I got if somebody tried to mock it.

It's not about the accent.

It's about the fact you've told him you don't like it and want him to stop and he's continued.

He doesn't care that he upsets you. Or perhaps he does it because he wants to intentionally upset you.

That's the problem.

I mean that is presuming you've him you don't like it...

It isn’t.

It’s found more often in the south, where more bog average middle class people speak it, and the distinctly regional accent tends to be spoken by working class people (london or estuary or West Country or whatever).

Lots of people speak RP in Northern England or Scotland, but in those areas your average middle class person will have a softer version of the local accent, and RP tends to mean you are at least upper middle class and probably privately educated.

I’m sorry about using middle and working class here which I think it’s outdated, but it’s a useful shorthand in this case.

@Chickentikka567 he is doing it on purpose to make you feel less than.

It's a form of bullying. He is trying to bring you down a peg to make himself feel bigger.

Keep an eye on this. It could the the start of emotional abuse.

Otherwise when he does start on you, clap back. Roll your eyes and walk away.

If you do engage, remind him that you don't make comments on how his basic bitch self chooses to dress like the creepy uncle at a wedding who likes to grope the young 'uns so he shouldn't be commenting on your accent.

If you are quick to talk back, he loses his momentum and may think twice about coming for you.

The South of England is a big place and a Cornish accent is worlds away from a Kent accent. RP is regionless in that it doesn't belong to a region and is the same wherever the person speaking it is from.

Accentism is so strong in this country! I don’t think we’ll see a PM with Brummy accent, for example, any time soon. People have been told since the beginning of times that RP is THE only accepted variety of English and the rest are a poor version of it, but I believe English language belongs to all English speakers.

I personally wouldn’t accept to be disrespected like that. Your accent is part of your heritage, your identity and you should never change it to please others.