Page 4 | How would you feel about your partner mocking your accent?

Chickentikka567 · 2023-08-18T06:31:53+00:00

He has a more 'RP' accent than I do, well a slight one, but the rest of this family a lot more. Sometimes I'll say things and he'll repeat it but in a very heavy Northern accent, which I don't really have tbh. It doesn't matter whether I have it or not, it's just an accent, but he exaggerates mine sometimes. Not sure how to feel?

Fluffypiki · 19/08/2023 15:39

Ha! I am French, so believe me I know what you are talking about. Honestly it depend, from immediate family (DH,DC) I don't mind or roll my eyes, at work it is different if I am in a good mood I roll my eyes and tell them they are just jealous, now if I am grumpy (which is often, I am french after all) I ask them if they would do the same if I was Asian or African, apparently it is offensive then 🤨. Bah ask yourself if it is the accent mocking bothering you about him or an excuse for something else . Now I am off practicing saying sheets and beach.

lisieux77 · 19/08/2023 15:41

Would not care in the slightest. I love a bit of playful teasing. However, if I felt as though he were genuinely belittling me then I would ask him to stop and if he didn't then I wouldn't be with him. Simple.

DottyLottieLou · 19/08/2023 15:52

Take the mickey back. I'm from the North, married to a Scot and we live in Glasgow. We take the mick out of each other frequently. Be proud of how you speak. It's your heritage and it doesn't make you any better or worse than anyone else. Same goes for him. He's not superior.

user12345678912334 · 19/08/2023 16:11

It depends.
My STBEXH speaks RP and mocked my accent when I was upset and vulnerable. He thought I was beneath him and behaving in a dramatic "Coronation Street" way.
His long standing friends also mocked me and implied I was a northern scumbag. He never defended me and didn't see what the problem was.
Is this the case with you m OP?

billy1966 · 19/08/2023 16:18

Listen to your gut, how does it feel?

If it feels unkind, you have asked that he desists and he keeps doing it, he's nasty and I would have a think about why you are with someone like that.

Cupcakekiller · 19/08/2023 17:02

No but I wouldn't date someone who spoke with an RP accent. I like intelligent working class men. Middle class is a turn off for me.

UsingChangeofName · 19/08/2023 17:02

in my family we sometimes tease each other about pronunciation of certain words but it’s all gentle fun with absolutely no malice. It doesn’t seem like this feels this way to you. You don’t have to put up with it.

This, and everyone else who has said similar.
It seems a poor relationship if you can't take some gentle teasing.
Oddly my (adult) dc was only talking this morning about how she always get rinsed by friends where she lives now for the way she pronounces a couple of words (doesn't really have a strong accent at all - it was 2 particular words). It is very normal 'fun' amongst people who know each other well.

Why does it bother you so much ?

CustardySergeant · 19/08/2023 17:10

JRM17, Now I'm curious as to what a Mars accent sounds like, and it's all your fault! 😡

Seymour5 · 19/08/2023 17:34

continentallentil · 18/08/2023 09:03

It isn’t.

It’s found more often in the south, where more bog average middle class people speak it, and the distinctly regional accent tends to be spoken by working class people (london or estuary or West Country or whatever).

Lots of people speak RP in Northern England or Scotland, but in those areas your average middle class person will have a softer version of the local accent, and RP tends to mean you are at least upper middle class and probably privately educated.

I’m sorry about using middle and working class here which I think it’s outdated, but it’s a useful shorthand in this case.

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I know exactly what you mean. I’m Scottish, and have a fairly standard, soft, Scottish accent. The local dialect where I grew up is very broad, and very difficult for non locals to understand.

I’ve lived in the North of England for over forty years, and never had a problem being understood, and although people have commented on my accent, its mainly in a nice way.

tjugofem · 19/08/2023 17:44

I think it depends on your usual communication style, what his intentions are, and how sensitive you are about your accent. I would not mock anything my partner is sensitive about. I also think that as a rule, I'll be ok with jokes that make fun of something of equal status or above. Do you think his accent is "better" than yours? Does he? I wouldn't mind the accent mocking if I believe both our accents are "equal".

MisschiefMaker · 19/08/2023 18:05

Fluffypiki · 19/08/2023 15:39

Ha! I am French, so believe me I know what you are talking about. Honestly it depend, from immediate family (DH,DC) I don't mind or roll my eyes, at work it is different if I am in a good mood I roll my eyes and tell them they are just jealous, now if I am grumpy (which is often, I am french after all) I ask them if they would do the same if I was Asian or African, apparently it is offensive then 🤨. Bah ask yourself if it is the accent mocking bothering you about him or an excuse for something else . Now I am off practicing saying sheets and beach.

😂😂😂

MisschiefMaker · 19/08/2023 18:06

I am from the south and speak with RP and my (northern) DH teases me and calls me posh. It doesn't bother me, he's not intending to be mean and teasing is a normal thing in a relationship.

Weemumofone · 19/08/2023 21:17

If it upsets you and you’ve told him it upsets you then YANBU. Some say it’s banter, but it’s only fun banter if you feel that too. To continue once you’ve asked it to stop is verging on bullying IMO

DuesToTheDirt · 19/08/2023 21:48

"Mocking," for whatever reason, is a dealbreaker.

DH had I have some accent differences, and occasionally tease each other about them, but all in good humour. "Mocking" suggests that he looks down on you, and that's not ok.