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Original poster

Dd, 5, asking for a phone

145 replies

Whatisgoingonhey · 17/08/2023 22:09

Sort of inspired by another thread on here about Tik Tok & teens.
Just curious to know how much access your child has to the internet/phones etc.
Dd is 5 and has an outdoorsy type of life, we live next to the woods, so take our dog for lots of walks, we can walk to the beach, she goes to the pool, playgrounds etc
She watched some tv-CBeebies (although it feels as though she’s growing out of this?) shows on kids Netflix & Disney plus.
She recently wanted to watch lots of YouTube (Dh watches it) slime or cat videos etc, it’s pretty harmless, but I don’t like the speed of it all and it just doesn’t seem right for a 5 year old, so we have a lock on YouTube now.
She doesn’t have an iPad, although is desperate for headphones (I don’t know what she’d use them with though?)
She occasionally can play kids games on my phone.
This week she cried for a phone! At 5 🤷🏻‍♀️
Her neighbour friend (6) has his mums old iPhone.
She’s definitely not getting one until older, just was shocked that she was so upset to not have a phone.
What technology/tv etc does your child have of a similar age?
Tbh I hate all of it

OP posts:
Farr85 · 19/08/2023 21:27

At 5 she's too young for youtube, even the kids one. We've had all manner of unsuitable ads pop up. Cbeebies or Disney plus is still ideal for this age. My 6 year old still watches it as does my 8 year old but wouldn't admit this to school pals 😂. Simple games on a tablet would be fine for a short time.

leighh88 · 19/08/2023 21:31

Mines 3 and she has 2 fire tablets, she kind of has an old note 3 phone to play with rarely (dunno where it even is atm) a kiddi zoom camera, and a Tv in her room. Nd the alexa in the sitting room might as well be hers because its mainly used to put on the songs she likes to dance to.

Hankunamatata · 19/08/2023 21:52

An old iphone with data only sim is exactly like an ipad, plus you can set parent controls

Sugarfree23 · 19/08/2023 22:41

Hankunamatata · 19/08/2023 21:52

An old iphone with data only sim is exactly like an ipad, plus you can set parent controls

I wouldn't even bother with the data SIM, where would they be that they can't connect to wi-fi or download music before they set off on a journey.

Lots of people are getting hung up on the idea of it being a phone, they wouldn't be so uptight about kids having ipod touches or small tablets.

Herejusttocomment · 19/08/2023 23:25

My daughter had a tablet at that age on a timer and she could borrow my phone for some games and kids YouTube (also on a timer). We played some of the games together and we still do now.

purplehair1 · 20/08/2023 00:26

My kids didn’t have much till around 11. I was determined my son wouldn’t have much tech till later, but he broke me when he said none of his friends wanted to come and visit as his house was boring…

Libra24 · 20/08/2023 00:44

We have an old iPad with our home Ed subscriptions on but no streaming account etc.
They all have a tablet with restricted Netflix and Disney with games for long car journeyswhich we do about twice at week of 1+hours.
My son loves to film things on his so can occasionally have his tablet for making films etc. But otherwise it's either shared social TV watching or nothing. We have a Facebook portal whicb shows photos that they love to watch or video call family on.
I think there's jothing wrong with saying no to devices if that's what you want.

emziecy · 20/08/2023 07:50

My kids are much older (32 😳🤣, 17 and 16) so obviously it was different when they were the age your child is. None of them had any devices of their own until they were 12 or 13, but the younger 2 sometimes used my ipad or laptop to play games or watch Netflix or whatever (controlled). I am now a Year 2 teacher (private school not in the UK) and tbh it blows my mind that in my school the vast majority of kids (even as young as 4) have their own (often extremely expensive top of the range) phones. Most are allowed unlimited access to any content with no parental locks or supervision and have their own social media accounts (TikTok, Insta, Snapchat etc) This really depresses me in ways that I can't even articulate 😭

Coffeeandcrocs · 20/08/2023 08:11

We stopped Ds4 watching YouTube after noticing a massive deterioration in behaviour which was easier said than done when he has a much older sibling who does watch the odd thing on there. The first few days were hard with constant requests but we held firm and he hasn't asked again since.

Mummabee87 · 20/08/2023 16:28

My 4.5 year old has a tablet, its my old one and she has a few apps and kids youtube on it. Its mainly so we get to watch tv. She uses our phones if we out and are trying to keep her quiet/still if appropriate. I dont let her have it in car ect. Tbf some of the stuff on youtube is rather educational

Throwawaygh · 20/08/2023 21:51

My DD5 has a phone, she uses it to do reading eggs on and watch Disney or CBeebies when we’re driving to my parent’s house (5hrs). She gets 30 mins access to YouTube kids, but when it’s done, it’s done. I’ve recently put a SIM card in it, mainly because we don’t have a house phone and my partner works offshore (3 weeks on, 3 off), so I was scared in case anything happened to my phone and I was cut off from my support network, who all live miles away. There’s been a few break-ins in my area lately and I wanted a back up plan in case anything happens. I don’t really see the point in restricting kids access to technology, I think it’s like food and when you restrict it becomes a big temptation that they’ll binge when they’re allowed to have it. My daughter will use her phone for a while, but generally she’s not interested in it as she has more exciting toys and games to play with. She uses her tonie box a lot more and now likes to read along with the book as she’s listening to stories and she has a mini yoto for journeys that she likes to use with her headset in the car.

Stompythedinosaur · 21/08/2023 12:53

My dc had tablets. They watched you tube and played various games (the cbeebies app is good as are toca boca games). They were great for flights or long car drives.

I'm not sure how using a tablet is worse than watching TV, both are screentime.

Certainly amongst my dc's peers, access to some tech was normal at that age.

Snowpaw · 21/08/2023 13:08

I have always told my 4 yr old DD that my phone is "just for mummy's work messages" and I have always made it out to be a very boring thing - I try and keep it on a shelf or away out of sight most of the time. I admit, I do love a good mindless scroll but I try and keep that for the evenings when she's in bed. As a result, she is pretty uninterested in it. So I'm just trying to keep that link going for her between phone and work, and avoid it as a means of entertainment. She has never shown much interest in it.

We have a Google Alexa type thing - she likes asking it what the weather will be like today. She has TV but not every day - perhaps 3 times a week I'll put it on. Simple cartoons that she can understand, or sometimes a nature / cooking show or a concert of a singer she likes. Something vaguely educational.

I am steadfast in not getting her an iPad.

Wenfy · 21/08/2023 13:16

StSwithinsDay · 20/08/2023 21:54

In the UK the use of phones and tablets and playing educational games is encouraged by all schools - public and private. Should also add that due to the expense of books most Indian school children use phones to read books and play educational games - yet we don’t see half-baked ignorant nonsense like this article.

Sennelier1 · 23/08/2023 08:00

I bought my grandson walkie-talkies. They love them! They speak to each-other wispering - sitting on the couch together.

Matilda1981 · 23/08/2023 08:02

Mine have Amazon fire tablets for games and Netflix - handy for long journeys as I have 4 kids that would otherwise argue the whole journey!! In all honesty they barely use them, we’ve never limited time on them, they regulate pretty well!

user1492757084 · 23/08/2023 08:11

No to online access. No to portable screen. Five is too young.
Her imagination is developing; her eye sight and her observation cues for personal communication don't need to be disrupted.
A study has shown that children in playgrounds of schools that allow phones do not develop a good maturity with social skills. Some kids even pretend to scroll at nothing rather than chat to another child. Anxiety is being enabled.

I think you can buy an emergency phone type communication device to give children who wait at bus stops etc. (if that is why she needs it)

larlypops · 23/08/2023 08:15

When mine were younger they both had an Amazon fire with as much access as they liked but tbf they’d rather go on the trampoline or play football than go on it so it’s never been a problem, my eldest is 12 now and had a phone at the beginning of secondary school and access to a PlayStation, he’s always outside sometimes I have to coach him in to eat dinner because he loves being outside, we back onto woods and he goes on bike rides and plays football but evenings he’ll go on his PlayStation for an hour or two:
it’s all about balance but luckily we have a garden and great outdoors at the house so he can do that

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