Dd, 5, asking for a phone

[Whatisgoingonhey]

Sort of inspired by another thread on here about Tik Tok & teens.
Just curious to know how much access your child has to the internet/phones etc.
Dd is 5 and has an outdoorsy type of life, we live next to the woods, so take our dog for lots of walks, we can walk to the beach, she goes to the pool, playgrounds etc
She watched some tv-CBeebies (although it feels as though she’s growing out of this?) shows on kids Netflix & Disney plus.
She recently wanted to watch lots of YouTube (Dh watches it) slime or cat videos etc, it’s pretty harmless, but I don’t like the speed of it all and it just doesn’t seem right for a 5 year old, so we have a lock on YouTube now.
She doesn’t have an iPad, although is desperate for headphones (I don’t know what she’d use them with though?)
She occasionally can play kids games on my phone.
This week she cried for a phone! At 5 🤷🏻‍♀️
Her neighbour friend (6) has his mums old iPhone.
She’s definitely not getting one until older, just was shocked that she was so upset to not have a phone.
What technology/tv etc does your child have of a similar age?
Tbh I hate all of it

@Ratfinkstinkypink Can you do that now on MP3 players? God, it’s been so long..see everything for me is on my phone.
She loves music so I’m happy to encourage that, but she wants to watch YouTube music videos 😬is that bad? I just don’t know…seems only 5 minutes ago, she wanted to watch Tee & mo or Bluey.

DS will be five later this year he doesn't have a tablet and doesn't use our phones at all, he's never played an app game.
He has some screen time on the living room TV , no you tube and no channels with adverts. He has never cried for a device. He watches some CBeebies eg supertato, get set galactic, alpha blocks but some other stuff is too young Mr tumble etc. He watches some stuff on CBBC but you have to be careful with that after school time. Generally most days he has no screen time, weekends we sometimes watch a film as a family if it's rainy or if we've been out all day and then we're home and waiting for dinner to be ready. We've been to outdoor cinema a couple of times over the summer.
He also likes things we can watch together like blue planet, planet earth, there's a thing about Hornby model trains that he loves and I tolerate. Screentime is essentially a shared activity, I think it can become very difficult to break when it's just them and the device.

She needs YouTube kids, kidz bop videos are great, child friendly covers of songs.

But ultimately, you are in control, you can say "No" but you'll have to replace it with something else to distract her.

Oh he does have a Yoto player, we read a book or two at bedtime then he has a story on the Yoto while he falls asleep. He also likes the daily science podcast and had it on when he's in the bath sometimes. It also means on longer car journeys we can play the audiobooks through the car stereo

My DC both had amazon fire tablets at that age. They went through stages of using them regularly and then not bothering for a while. My DD got a phone at 10.5 and DS knows there's no point in asking before then. DD is 12 and has WhatsApp, that's pretty much all she uses. She's never asked for any social media although I know her friends have Snapchat, insta and tiktok. YouTube is both brilliant and evil at the same time imo so we have to keep monitoring her use of it and associated behaviour.

This!
We are screen free and will be staying that way until the kids need it either for safety (walking alone) or homework.

@Mariposista @PalomaPalomaPaloma do you allow TV or nothing at all?
We don't allow personal devices or for him to use ours but we do go to the cinema occasionally, and we do watch a bit of TV together, a film, or he likes David Attenborough stuff which I've always thought is pretty harmless

My DGS has a Yoto player - it's brilliantly suited to 4 year old him. He loves being able to 'choose' his own music, bedtime stories etc. and be grown up with his headphones on! Plus no wretched screen (other than a little animated pixel image that moves with the music).

This is his little MP3 player, he has this and kids Bluetooth headphones (I don't think he'd be safe with corded ones as he wouldn't be able to alert me if he got caught up in them)

Can use our phone under supervision only to watch cbeebies or Disney+. No YouTube (unless we're researching dinosaurs or sharks). No games and no tablet. We watch tv but only approved content. It's either supervised or we know what it is and are ok with it.

Mine watches Disney and Youtube Kids on the TV. And has a Switch & Wii to play games like Minecraft, Pokemon, Mario Kart alone and with siblings.

My 5.5yr old has a kids Amazon tablet and a switch. The tablet does get a lot of use on Roblox, Minecraft, watching horrid Henry etc. the influence of having an older brother

My DD wants a unicorn… it’s a no. Just like it would be with a phone. And in a few weeks she will want a puppy, or colour change Barbie.

We validate, ‘oh I bet you do want a whatever, that looks interesting/fun/whatever’ and then we move on to another conversation. A five year old getting a phone does not warrant a serious discussion.

Dd didn’t have any tech at 5, she sometimes used a phone to watch you tube but that’s it, she’s almost 11 now and has a phone with a number only because she walks home from school alone. She had my nans old phone from the age of 8, just to play games on and also my Nan died 2 years previously so we kept the phone because it had all pictures of them together (they were super close)
imo 5 is far to early. Dd does also have an iPad but has only had that (which is DP’s old one) since covid. DS 15 didn’t even get a phone with a number until he started high school.. he had an ipad about 2/3 years before that though.

Yes! My 4yo has that one too. It has pink feathers glued to the back. You can call any of her cuddly toys and look at photos on it. 6yo has a beautifully coloured in Nintendo switch that he made at school.

Seriously, no devices at all and I'm happy to tell both my DC that I don't approve of children or young teens having phones.

I think some people say there are horrible things on Roblox?

@Singleandproud We had kids YouTube and it was ok at first as it just was annoying Blippi etc. She then started watching short clips about slime, dogs being daft etc and then that was all that was coming up. It’s the style of it, fast, bright, loud, American, I just can’t see how it can be good for her brain. We deleted that, but Dh wants to keep YouTube as he watches mainly that (doesn’t watch actual tv really) So we’ve put a parental lock on the whole tv, so can’t access anything herself. If I allow her to watch something, I’ll suggest CBeebies or milkshake, which she used to enjoy until she’d seen a few YouTube videos and now that’s all she seems to want to watch, which also highlights how addictive it could be?

She's quite young to be bored with cbeebies.

Ds6 had a tablet. He's allowed to watch some YouTube - mainly Blippi, Ryans World, and there's some YouTube family where all the kids are extreme gymnasts that ds2 showed him and he's fascinated by.

He also uses it for school stuff - there are maths and reading apps that they use in school sometimes that he enjoys playing on. And he likes a few drawing apps, trace a dinosaur and watch it come to life type stuff.

No phone though and no gaming at all. And no tv in his room for a few years. Phone won't be until his 11th birthday, the same as his older brothers. He knows this and it's not a point of discussion. If I hear 'well Theo in my class has a phone' he gets a that's-nice-dear response.

I see lots of kids his age with their own phone and some of his friends are now getting Xbox's and the like or a TV in their room. Firm nope here.

@PalomaPalomaPaloma Yes, I thought that, she enjoyed a few shows before, but since seeing YouTube has gone off them, which worries me more, it’s just a blanket no YouTube now at all and definitely no phone…insane

its near impossible to bring up a child these days without screen exposure. but so many studies on this now and none of the big tech bosses allow their kids screens until we'll into teenage years. infact there are now some private primary schools that don't allow screens at home or school. I believe parents have to sign a contract. I don't have children sadly but we are bringing up my nephews with almost zero screen exposure. helped by the fact that they have lots of cats, goats etc. and also have extended family around + staff. pretty hard for working parents with no other help though. I am sure you are already doing your best.

He also loves music and we have Alexa's both up and downstairs. So he'll often put music on, either asking for single songs or the soundtrack to something (Frozen being top, The Greatest Showman a close second).

DD(6) has an amazon kids tablet (given to her for Christmas by her grandad, even though we told him not to buy it - but that's a whole other thread!)

She watches her kids account Netflix on it and watches hamster videos on YT. It all has parental locks on and she can't add any apps without permission being given from my phone/amazon account.

She watches it in bed on a weekend after story time and through the week she's allowed a little time if she wants it to play her math's games.

We're a very outdoorsy family too and weekdays are usually very busy with after school clubs etc so she doesn't use it all that often, I've found I've not had to restrict her time too much as after an hour she's bored of it anyway!

100% though, she definitely won't have a phone until much, much older and she will never have unlimited access to the internet. It scares me too much

Does your husband watch YouTube in front of her as that could be a big part of it. YouTube is very addictive, it’s technically a social media platform just in more of a long form than the modern TikTok. There also seems to be masses of adverts nowadays.

I agree with posters suggesting an age appropriate alternative like a kids music and audio book player or a kid’s console. I was just thinking about when mine reaches 5/6 maybe they would like to play Animal Crossing on my old Nintendo DS. You can probably get those cheap second hand now.

I get annoyed with a lot of the videos I see (suggested to me) on Insta and FB as at first glance it’s a cute cat or baby but nine times out of ten the whole scenario is extremely abusive and we the viewers are being encouraged to find it funny. I can see how it’s really hard for kids who have grown up trying to navigate this. I’m really worried about how my own DD will get out as she comes into contact with this tsunami of media and information.

Plus don’t forget that that everything she watches it is learning from her and using information about her to keep her watching. (Although I think when/if the new social media bill finally becomes law it will be illegal for SM companies to track and data mine children anymore)

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