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Original poster

Dd, 5, asking for a phone

145 replies

Whatisgoingonhey · 17/08/2023 22:09

Sort of inspired by another thread on here about Tik Tok & teens.
Just curious to know how much access your child has to the internet/phones etc.
Dd is 5 and has an outdoorsy type of life, we live next to the woods, so take our dog for lots of walks, we can walk to the beach, she goes to the pool, playgrounds etc
She watched some tv-CBeebies (although it feels as though she’s growing out of this?) shows on kids Netflix & Disney plus.
She recently wanted to watch lots of YouTube (Dh watches it) slime or cat videos etc, it’s pretty harmless, but I don’t like the speed of it all and it just doesn’t seem right for a 5 year old, so we have a lock on YouTube now.
She doesn’t have an iPad, although is desperate for headphones (I don’t know what she’d use them with though?)
She occasionally can play kids games on my phone.
This week she cried for a phone! At 5 🤷🏻‍♀️
Her neighbour friend (6) has his mums old iPhone.
She’s definitely not getting one until older, just was shocked that she was so upset to not have a phone.
What technology/tv etc does your child have of a similar age?
Tbh I hate all of it

OP posts:
Sugarfree23 · 18/08/2023 07:41

FilthyforFirth · 18/08/2023 07:15

Nope, no phone. DS6 got a kids tablet for his 5th bday as we were flying long haul and I had his 18th month old brother to contend with. It is only used sparingly/long journeys.

No other tech, certainly not youtube or a phone. I am quite anti screens though.

What's the difference between an old phone with no SIM and a tablet?

The size. Do people really think the 6yo neighbour has a sim in the phone?

Fishhhh · 18/08/2023 07:45

audible through my Alexa

PeelingWallpaperFlakyPaint · 18/08/2023 07:52

My son has a phone. My old Nokia. It doesn't switch on and it's just for pretend phonecards, though this has fallen away a bit because he had walkie talkies for his birthday.

RoseMartha · 18/08/2023 08:32

No phone at 5.
Maybe a kids tablet for Christmas with limited times to use it.
There are other kids channels like pop and tiny pop on free view and things like Nickelodeon if you pay extra, although the adverts used to get on my nerves as kids want all the stuff they see. And there are other kids films and shows on netflix that are not pre school age.

Problemsolving · 18/08/2023 08:35

For TV it’s probably time for her to move cbbc but you will need yo help her select programs as it goes up to teenage stuff.

readbooksdrinktea · 18/08/2023 08:37

Diddykong · 17/08/2023 22:24

My 3 year old has a phone.

It's the inside of a toilet roll with some sticker gems attached as buttons. He has many a conversation with Batman.

This is adorable.

LuvSmallDogs · 18/08/2023 08:44

We are more "towny" than you.

DS1 who is 9 only recently got a phone so he can play out with other kids without us having to go out looking for him when it's tea time.

It's not a smart phone, it's a cheap bar phone my mum dug out of a cupboard and according to its manual it was made in 2012!

Yes he is disappointed, but I don't want him on social media like many of his peers are.

Original poster
Whatisgoingonhey · 18/08/2023 09:47

@Bouncyball23 It is on the tv, not the phone

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatisgoingonhey · 18/08/2023 09:49

@prescribingmum Yes, the same here, that’s what worried me, constantly asking to watch it (still is) getting upset now I’ve said no, never reacted like this to normal
tv and wasn’t fussed, really worrying

OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 18/08/2023 09:55

My 4yo has a tablet. It has some subscriptions to educational games, some of which she will play. She also has access to YouTube Kids, Netflix, Prime and Disney Plus on it and is always well supervised.

Before any pearl clutchers come out of the woodwork and after me, my 4yo has additional needs. She was non verbal until a few months ago and she has started to pick up speech from watching things on said tablet. Her own speech and language therapist has said she seems to pick up sing songy phrases as opposed to singular words. And if screen time helps my child develop the ability to speak like their peers then they can have it. It also keeps them calm in various social situations that would otherwise end in absolute meltdowns.

However, I would not allow a phone.

Wenfy · 18/08/2023 10:22

DS is 3.5 and allowed an Amazon Kids tablet (I set it for his age group, monitor what he watches, switch it off remotely when he’s had enough - he thinks it’s tired lol). I do the same with the TV. He has an Amazon Echo Kids to play music / listen to stories

He isn’t allowed to watch YouTube and he isn’t allowed to use anything other than Audible on my phone.

DD 12 doesn’t have a phone (we’ll get one at 14) but has her own tablet that I have created a vpn network for. Every website / app she goes to is monitored.

FlamingYam · 18/08/2023 10:38

I'm very much in the "technology is great for kids" camp but I think 5 is on the young side for a phone.

At that age, my DD had a heavily protected iPad. It was expensive but was worth its weight in gold for car journeys, meals when they got too much and just fun games/happy learning. Get the right apps and it opens a whole exciting world for them. That even includes those stupid egg opening videos. Really helped my DDs vocabulary.

I think she got a phone at 8/9 and a sim in that phone at 9/10.

Guard what they do, no communication to unknowns and even friends and family friends, watch what's said. You never know!

NewName122 · 18/08/2023 10:44

None at 5. I used to have data on my mobile phone but didn't even get Internet put in my home until my son was about 9 🤣🤣 he felt very deprived by that point so I felt I had to get it. Before that I think it was good for him as he was so into crafty stuff and building things, plus saved me money as was a single mum. Got Internet, got a tablet and it went downhill from there. Have an avid gamer child now.

Lonelylonelylonely · 18/08/2023 10:56

Mine got phones when they started secondary school. Before that they had moochie smart watches which allow calls to/from selected numbers, an SOS button which immediately alerts their emergency contact number and records what is happening around them if activated plus it has GPS tracking so we could see exactly where they were. There is no social media on them and no internet.

They had PS Vitas for playing games, but their time on these was limited.

waterrat · 18/08/2023 10:59

Children evolved to watch adults use tools so rhey could work out how life works around them

Of course 5 year olds want phones they see them being constantly used by everybody around them

We all need to change our phone use if we want children to change how they view them

Sirzy · 18/08/2023 11:03

Whatisgoingonhey · 18/08/2023 09:49

@prescribingmum Yes, the same here, that’s what worried me, constantly asking to watch it (still is) getting upset now I’ve said no, never reacted like this to normal
tv and wasn’t fussed, really worrying

Supervised watching of it for a set amount of time may be better than a complete no. By putting a complete block on it you’re making it something more and more appealing.

Dolores87 · 18/08/2023 11:03

My 5 year old can watch Disney, Netflix or approved You tube (they have to ask me and i have to vet any channel on you tube they watch). She can use her sisters ipad sometimes but she doesn't have her own yet. She can play games on the nintendo switch. I dont regulate their access to tech thats approved. They can play it all day long if they want but when I first said this could be the case instead of the strict rules I have we had a period where they wouldnt get off it all and I questioned my decision and then gradually they started to regulate their own use and now they use it a bit and do lots of other things also. If that hadnt have happened I probably would have reassessed the free access.

Sirzy · 18/08/2023 11:04

Ds has had an iPad since he was about 5, he generally uses it now to research his area of interest.

he is 13 now and has a phone but never uses it. He has a 1p sim in it now so it’s there if needed but never is. (He is autistic so doesn’t go out without an adult just yet, but even for school refuses to even take it in his bag)

redxlondon · 18/08/2023 11:06

PalomaPalomaPaloma · 17/08/2023 22:12

No technology at 5.

May I ask why? I grew up in the 90s and was on a computer from age of 2. It was incredible to improve my reading abilities and made me more tech savy as I grew up.

zingally · 18/08/2023 12:18

Just say no? She'll have forgotten about it by tomorrow.

prescribingmum · 18/08/2023 13:20

Sirzy · 18/08/2023 11:03

Supervised watching of it for a set amount of time may be better than a complete no. By putting a complete block on it you’re making it something more and more appealing.

Show quote history

Allowing any form of access just made things worse in our case, it’s just too addictive and they want more and more. The solution was a complete stop for the entire family. One good thing about them being young is they forget quickly after a few days as long as we aren’t using it either.

We are more than 3 years on now and I will use for a specific video but they still do not have access to control it themselves and they don’t complain

Yellowlegobrick · 18/08/2023 13:31

6 & 4 yo each have a yoto player and headphones, with music & stories on it.

We own two amazon fire tablets which notionally belong to DH and I but which the children are occasionally allowed to use. Its rare. Car/plane journeys.

Eldest is occasionally allowed to play a game or 2 on house pc with strict supervision for 30 mins - racing, sports or construction type games, zero fighting. Once per week only and has to be earned by doing school homework etc without being nagged.

30 mins of tv per day. Nothing with any ads in.

Youtube and tiktok etc they do not know exist.

Sugarfree23 · 18/08/2023 13:37

FlamingYam · 18/08/2023 10:38

I'm very much in the "technology is great for kids" camp but I think 5 is on the young side for a phone.

At that age, my DD had a heavily protected iPad. It was expensive but was worth its weight in gold for car journeys, meals when they got too much and just fun games/happy learning. Get the right apps and it opens a whole exciting world for them. That even includes those stupid egg opening videos. Really helped my DDs vocabulary.

I think she got a phone at 8/9 and a sim in that phone at 9/10.

Guard what they do, no communication to unknowns and even friends and family friends, watch what's said. You never know!

I'm confused by your logic, ipad at 5 and sim-less phone at 8/9. Yet not a phone at 5.

What can kids do on a sim-less phone they can't do on a ipad?

I actually think people are falling over the word 'phone' without stopping to think it's really just a small pocket sized tablet. Bit like Ipod touches were a thing back in the day.

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 18/08/2023 13:38

DD8 and DS4 both have iPads …. they are DHs old ones from when he’s upgraded.

Neither has unrestricted access to it and they have parental controls on to limit what can be accessed.

I don’t mind them spending a bit of time on them as long as they do plenty of other things too.

no way are they having phones, they don’t need them and we don’t have any old ones lying about.

FlamingYam · 18/08/2023 14:02

@Sugarfree23 I see you're point and completely agree that the word phone is causing discrepancies.

A potential drip feed but I think it was just the timing. Smartphones were relatively new if I recall. I only had an iPhone 5 myself at the time and wouldn't have purchased a phone especially for a five year old at that time but with how cheap and accessible they are now, in comparison, I would. She had my old phone when she did have one so was more about availability than one being better than the other - the phone going from sim free to having data and social apps available is more relevant.