To wonder why adoptive parents get paid?

[Member786488]

I’ll try and post a link to the story…

Possibly being dim… not unheard of.
I understand the fostering payments obviously but surely finance is something you consider if you’re going to have a child, so why is that different if you adopt.

other than some initial costs, why do you receive regular ‘adoption’ payments until the child is 18?

This story of what this child has been in their early life just breaks my heart to
read, your friend is a real life angel. Thank GOD for people like her. We all know it happens but my god it’s just so hard to comprehend.

There you go.

Also, if you read your screenshot it clearly states MINIMUM amount....

No adopters get paid. Very few adopters get adoption allowance.

I adopted. Never saw a penny. We were told he was a child with no issues. Ha ha f*ing ha!

Anxiety, self harm, self medication with legal and illegal substances, couldn't cope in mainstream school so was home schooled, now 21, not working, rarely leaves the house, recently diagnosed with Autism (despite being told for years he was just naughty) and on waiting list for ADHD assessment.

We applied for financial assistance for the therapy he had regularly for about 10 years, but we're denied every time. £150 - £200 a month for 6 months at a time, most years. Probably cost us 10k+

Even now at 21 he needs a lot of support and input from us. He functions as a 15/16 year old. I couldn't - and still can't - work full time, and have had to take lower paid jobs for the part time/flexibility aspect.

People shouldn't be swayed into adoption because it's a source of income, that's not fair on the children concerned, but there should be some financial recompense.

Now, we encourage him to claim every benefit possible, just to take the financial burden off of us.

We don’t get bloody paid! I have had to give up a really successful career, for most of the last ten years I’ve been on low income PT jobs and benefits (same for partner) in order to meet our child’s needs. I’ve filled in 20 forms this year and been fighting with school with recognise my child’s needs, have finally got a diagnosis which supports everything I’ve been saying over the last 4 years. Diagnosis says that if I hadn’t sent her to so many classes especially sports her diagnosis would have much more severe. I have spent ever last penny on these classes and gone without. Zero support financially except for the first 8 months when I had to fight like mad (involving my local MP) to get the equivalent of statutory maternity pay (£140 a week) because guess what, self employed adoptive parents for some inexplicable reason are exempt from that payment. Only birth mums get it automatically! God how dare you get angsty about this! It’s very rare for any adopters to get paid, the opposite actually, we are often discriminated against in every way. And those who do get ‘paid’ deserve every penny.

As ab adoptive parent you clearly don't have a clue what you are on about.

A friend of mine has had to give up her job to take care of her two adopted siblings. The first baby’s mother was an alcoholic. Little is known about her second baby’s mother but her DD has numerous issues.

I see my friend nearly everyday on the school run and not a single run goes without incident. My friend is so calm, don’t know how she does it. So patient. She had to give up her career for her children.

Just a comment. If a fosterer is getting a larger amount for a child or 3 there will be reasons:
The children may have very high needs
The children may be known for being destructive
They may be allowing for the fact the FC needs a larger home to house sibling groups
etc.
It certainly isn't the norm.

We adopted 13 years ago, we don't get any payments. Never have.

Just to add, I had to give up work to meet our adopted child's needs, we also had to pay for an educational psychologist report, therapy, special swimming lessons, the list goes on. Birth parents should be made to cough up something towards all of this, may make them think before they create another innocent life.

I tried hard to ignore the last sentence, but failed. It does seem incredibly unfeeling towards birth parents.

I'm guessing maybe you have reason to feel very differently about your DC's BPs from how I feel.

Birth parents should be made to cough up something towards all of this, may make them think before they create another innocent life.

Its fair to say if birth parents had the resources to fund adoptive parents they’d be in a much better position to raise their children.

None of those costs are unforeseen in raising adoptive children, it’s not unusual for adoptive parents to need to reduce working hours or stop work altogether. While it can be hard to prepare yourself for the reality of adoption, particularly when outcomes are hard to predict expecting birth parents, who have lost their children, to fund adopters is screwed up in a whole host of ways.

I do get an adoption allowance, which doesn’t come close to the loss of salary and the stalling of my career. I chose adoption and chose my children, I’d happily pay any amount to see them overcome their early adversity.

These particular birth parents have had 3 children removed at birth, 1 after the other, apparently drugs are more important to them, he's got a further 5 children from previous relationships, some in care, some not. The damage done to these babies whilst in the womb is significant & long lasting. So forgive me for being a little angry when these are the circumstances. Unfortunately these circumstances are very common. I have every sympathy for birth parents who struggle through no fault of their own.

I have every sympathy for birth parents who struggle through no fault of their own.

Abe yet you seem to have no understanding of the link between drug use and trauma in adults, or addiction as an illness, or the discourse around repetition compulsion as a trauma response. I know how hard it is to be dealing with the impact of birth parents actions on their children, I’m living that life myself, being “a little angry” is quite different to wanting birth parents to pay for their adopted children that they now have no legal relationship with.

Re fostering Elvisismycat is correct, I foster 3 children for a local authority and get similar to her niece.
you get paid an allowance for the child and a fee for yourself.
the amounts vary greatly between local authorities, at the moment my children aren’t particularly challenging either.