To wonder why adoptive parents get paid?

[Member786488]

I’ll try and post a link to the story…

Possibly being dim… not unheard of.
I understand the fostering payments obviously but surely finance is something you consider if you’re going to have a child, so why is that different if you adopt.

other than some initial costs, why do you receive regular ‘adoption’ payments until the child is 18?

And SGO.

What?! In what sense the NHS would have only funded him if he hadn't been adopted? That's terrible.

This thread is a real opener for the "just adopt" brigade.

Thank you. I'm glad people are getting it more readily now.

Eye opener even.

The number of times I was told that when I was unsuccessfully TTC. I knew all along I didn't have the skills necessary to be an adoptive parent. Yet still it gets trotted out.

The vast majority of adoptive parents get no payment.

We got a £200 ‘settling in’ grant for supplies which we didn’t expect or ask for.

We have had some - much needed - therapeutic input paid for by the Adoption Support Fund, which goes straight from the local authority to the professionals.

The payment in this story is a relatively rare sort of support to allow families to take care of some of the most complex and traumatised children in our country. It is far, far, far less than the cost that would accrue to all sorts of public services had the children grown up in care.

Shame on you, OP, for not taking a moment to think about this before posting it.

We adopted a sibling group 3 under 3 no allowance. As an ex SW a financial assessment happens which majority don't get. We now have grandchildren sticky situations. Social services push for guardenship again cheap option. Your knee reaction shows your lack of awareness. Generally children who are adopted have been traumatised, often will trash due to their experiences. Adoptive parents receive little help or support from authority. Often friendships and relationships break up.

I don’t believe for a moment they didn’t think about it. They’re writing an article, probably for the daily mail or something, which will have loads of statements from John Hemming about the evils of adoption.

Trying to whip people up to generate some sound bytes.

You should be ashamed of yourself OP.

Most adopters don’t get paid and also in the case of fostering-to-adopt they lose pretty much all support and funding. They do this because they love their children and don’t want them to languish in the care system.

IMO most adoptive and foster parents are angels and deserve more help with what are often very emotionally damaged children. Personally I think it should be funded, at least to the point of providing whatever therapies the children need.

I think parents who adopt should get payments and parents who have a child of their own shouldn't receive any help from the state. The reason is the person who adopts is dealing with a problem that someone else has created - a child who needs new parental figures. Why would anyone adopt if they weren't getting paid? Sure a few people will adopt because they can't conceive their own child but most adopters will want a financial "bonus" in order to take on the extra responsibility.

When I say "problem that someone else has created" I don't mean that in every instance someone has deliberately or carelessly created the problem. Good parents die young through no fault of their own. But their action of creating a child is what led to there being a child who needs adopting, without the child having ever existed it wouldn't have needed someone to adopt them.

@Dotjones Our children are very much our own

It’s outrageous to say hardly anyone would adopt without a financial incentives. Thousands of people do, every single year.

Adopted kids really do cost extra, they come often with a lot of baggage and are the most vulnerable kids in our society in many ways. I’d want my tax money to go on them. Often one parent has to be around more so adoptive parents may take a hit on wages also.

We also desperately need more adoptive parents, this is quite a thing to take on and we should be giving the right kind of incentives.

@Dotjones I sincerely hope you don't ever consider adoption of fostering. What a horrible view.

I get adoption allowance for my son. I didn’t when he was placed and had to fight for it for years and now have an annual review to prove we need it. Due to his complex additional needs (caused by neglect and heroin addiction), I can’t work full time. I’ve Gone from a well paid full time job, to four days a week during school hours. We do medical appointments twice a week, OT and PT once a week. I get £70 a week from my adoption allowance and I’ve been told it will likely be removed next year when my youngest (also adopted) starts school because then I have no reason to not work full time 🤦🏼‍♀️

I have 2 adopted children and we have never recieved any payment from anyone.
I think it's quite unusual

We got a settling in grant to cover car seats & bed and sundries.
'Harder to place children' may come with a means tested allowance but that's it.

Otherwise:
The DC qualify for enhanced pupil premium in school (school gets the money), and priority in admission criteria alongside LAC.
One of my DDs has therapy funded by PAS.

Gosh, the OP hasn’t been back.

How strange.

I'd seen this on the news this morning but had always assumed adoption meant no money even if the child was difficult. This was knowledge gained by a foster mother locally who had many children over the years, so perhaps she hadn't understood either.

This going how you expected, OP?

As an adopter I'm surprised and pleased that so many posters here get that adoption doesn't fix what went before, and that many adopted children have complex ongoing needs. This thread has really helped me feel 'seen' by non adopters. I'm sure that's what you intended.

The reason is the person who adopts is dealing with a problem that someone else has created - a child who needs new parental figures. Why would anyone adopt if they weren't getting paid?

My children aren’t a problem, thank you very much. They’re my own children, loved and cherished and precious in my eyes.

I adopted because I wanted a family of my own, to experience being a parent and raising my children - I didn’t go into it thinking there would be any financial support and planned accordingly as most parents do.

As it turned out I did get an adoption allowance when they were placed, there’s a clear criteria for Adoption Allowance and my children met that criteria in a number of ways. I’ve had to step back from my professional career, can’t work full time because of my children’s needs and I had a significant legal bill for the adoption process. I would have adopted my kids whatever the situation financially but having a bit of financial support helps.

The vast majority of adoptive parents don’t receive any financial help, which I think is wrong, there should be at least support in the first year to help parents who need to take a full year out of work for settling in.

@Dotjones also to add, adopted children don’t get new parental figures, they get new parents.

Ooh I've never been paid, where do I sign up? Must owe me 20 odd years back payment too. Ffs!

@Dotjones

my son is very much my ‘own’ child

adopters do not get a financial bonus to adopt.
most adopters end up worse off. I may have received an adoption allowance but my career stalled, lost earnings, impact on pension, not to mention additional costs above and beyond the ordinary costs of child rearing - I am signifucantly worse off

@Dotjones

The reason is the person who adopts is dealing with a problem that someone else has created - a child who needs new parental figures. Why would anyone adopt if they weren't getting paid?

What a horrible post.

I'm adopted. I am my mum's 'own' daughter thanks. And she isn't a parental figure. She is my parent. Every bit as much as she would be if she had given birth to me.

Why did she adopt if she wasn't getting paid? Because she wanted to be a mother, knew lots of children are in care waiting for permanent homes and felt passionately she wanted to offer a loving home and family to a child in need of one.

Describing children as 'problems' that need dealing with is so disgusting.

In fact your whole attitude towards adoption is at very best completely and utterly ignorant.