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Original poster

Noticed DD's birthmark for the first time today, DH worried it's going to be big

106 replies

elm26 · 16/08/2023 23:34

Hi everyone

Didn't know where to post this.

Whilst bathing my DD who's 12 weeks, I noticed that she has a birthmark that neither my Husband or I have noticed before. It's on the back of her leg.

I've attached a picture.

When I showed DH he said "oh no that's quite big and in an obvious place, she'll hate it as she gets older and it gets bigger as she grows". Does that happen? I've got a birthmark the same colour as DD's under my armpit but it's about the size of a 5p.

Now I'm worried she's going to end up with a huge birthmark that she'll hate when she's older.

OP posts:
Andanewnameagain · 17/08/2023 00:32

Ha, yeah same. Have one on my ribs. I'd forgotten it was there until I read this thread then got DH to see if it was still visible. Yes, just, apparently). Non issue! Btw DS had a strawberry birth mark on his back when he was born that completely disappeared by the time he was 3/4/5. - forget exactly when as he's now grown up.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 17/08/2023 00:33

DS (18) still has his two birthmarks, one on his stomach, one on his hand. I love them, and have always said to him how excited I was when I saw them for the first time when he was the same age as your DD! Because it was something entirely unique to him that no one else in the world had. He's really proud of them, and gets annoyed if he gets tanned and they merge with the rest of his skin.
Congratulations on your beautiful, beloved baby. She will be special in every way, she's already showing you that Flowers

Tinysoxx · 17/08/2023 00:34

Chickenpox swept through the primary school when DC were little, leaving them and some of their friends with scars. One child fell out of a tree and ended up with a large hooked nose, another knocked their 2 front teeth out (new adult ones).

It really isn’t a problem. Something you can control is to get the chickenpox vaccine which still isn’t on the nhs list.

thecatsarecrazy · 17/08/2023 00:36

I had one like that on my belly as a child, can't even see it now

Helpmegetajob · 17/08/2023 00:37

not read the full thread. But if you have just noticed this then I don’t think it’s a birthmark but perhaps a cafe au lait mark. Sounds strange but they are quite common and mostly harmless. However can be linked to a condition that’s affects kids as teen.

you need to monitor and if more than 5 apppear before the age of 5 or if they are bigger than around 3cms she needs to be seen by a paediatrician.

likey · 17/08/2023 00:43

One of mine has a birth mark like that on her shin. It's never bothered her and it's never been pointed out to her in a negative way. Please don't worry about it! Congratulations on your lovely girl.

JanglingJack · 17/08/2023 00:52

Ah, she'll be fine. I have one similar on my shoulder. It's grown with me if that makes sense. Probably more noticeable now because I'm knocking on a bit and child of 70s/80s sunburn!

I don't think it will be a bullying issue.

My daughter has a strawberry one on her arm that did grow, but has faded now leaving a faint scar look.

Have a Google of different birthmarks to put your mind at ease.

Omg I've just remembered last summer and my mum freaked (I'd had a biopsy for basal carcinoma - all good) she practically shrieked what is THAT on your shoulder?!! Erm, cheers Mum, it's my birthmark - remember? 🙄. I think she's getting a bit confused these days .

She'll be fine, it's just flat and a light colour. It won't spread.

JanglingJack · 17/08/2023 00:53

Oh I meant to say, other than Mum, nobody has ever pointed it out negatively 🤣

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 17/08/2023 00:54

LOOK AT THAT SQUISHY BABY LEG! Gorgeous.

I'd not fret about that. If it grows or she is self conscious then the GP can advise and refer to dermatology if it becomes disfiguring.

Meanwhile, concentrate on squishing those legs because they don't stay like that for long.

congrats on your baby.

ReturnoftheMuck · 17/08/2023 00:57

Hi @elm26 I'm sorry you're getting a bit of flack for this. My youngest has one that looks just like that, as does my eldest. I'd said to my husband yesterday "isn't it weird we didn't notice youngest DC's birth mark until a few months in?" With my eldest, I think we noticed that a bit earlier but it was still weeks before we did.

They are both fine and healthy. Birthmarks can kind of change as time goes on, getting lighter or darker. I used to have a dark blob on my leg then one day realised in my teens it was like a small, faded leaf and no one has ever noticed it because it's almost gone.

It may be their colouring finally settling in or just the hormones in their body settling down a bit.

Obviously if you want total reassurance, do speak to your baby's GP.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 17/08/2023 02:04

I have one on my calf that is huge and dark. It doesn't bother me in the least.

icclemunchy · 17/08/2023 02:26

My daughter has a large birthmark on her face. A strawberry one that at its biggest distorted the shape of her face and has permanently altered the shape of her lip. It much smaller and lighter now but as she's 12 it's not likely to change anymore.

Honestly we don't notice it anymore. When she and her friends mess about with make up (a lot of it full face stage stuff) she actively chooses not to cover it because she doesn't think she looks like herself with out it.

If your daughter decides she doesn't like it when she's older then she can cover it or whatever, but chances are if you just respond oh it's a birthmark when she asks she won't think anymore of it

LuckyCats · 17/08/2023 02:34

Not being funny but if it took you two 3 months to notice it between you, her loving parents dressing and undressing her multiple times a day, why do you think anyone else would?
Its not raised or very obvious otherwise you would have noticed it before now?
And even if it was, I don’t think people comment or bully about things like that now especially something so light on the leg, lots of kids will have similar birthmarks.
Ds best friend has a dark birthmark on the back of his calf and it is noticeable but he doesn’t get bullying for it.
Two boys in my class at school had birthmarks on their necks, even 30 years nobody really commented other than the same pricks who tried to bully everyone; I have loads of moles and was going grey before I left school, I got same amount of stick for that ie nothing I couldn’t handle.
One of those boys did have his birth mark removed but to be honest it looked worse after because you could see the scar, hopefully it’s improved and he got the result he wanted in the end.

Tripplefour · 17/08/2023 02:41

My dd has one in similar place and it has grown a bit but looks fine and it doesn’t bother her one bit.

sashh · 17/08/2023 02:53

Not being funny but if it took you two 3 months to notice it between you, her loving parents dressing and undressing her multiple times a day, why do you think anyone else would?

That did make me laugh. Absoloutly spot on.

Babyenroute · 17/08/2023 02:55

I agree with everyone else, this is absolutely nothing. My son (now 10 months) has several red birth markings on his head and back of his head that we kind of expected to fade and still haven't. I honestly don't see them when I look at him anymore but this has reminded me that they are still there .

PuttingDownRoots · 17/08/2023 03:17

My DD had a strawberry mark on her face. In addition she has a scar by her eye from when she was two.

The scar has grown a bit... we can't do anything about it due to where it is. The Strawberry mark has lost is colour now (except when she angry!) But was still bright red until she was 6ish. Its just a small bump above her lip now. No child. has ever been bothered by either of them. Unfortunately I did get comments when she was young from adults but children were unbothered. Nursery staff were only concerned about caring for it (as Strawberry marks can bleed a lot)

Enjoy your baby!!

Sapphire387 · 17/08/2023 06:10

My son had one of these as a baby and it totally disappeared after a couple of years. I still have my cafe au lait mark on the back of my leg and it doesn't bother me in the slightest, I usually forget it is there.

Original poster
elm26 · 17/08/2023 06:41

LuckyCats · 17/08/2023 02:34

Not being funny but if it took you two 3 months to notice it between you, her loving parents dressing and undressing her multiple times a day, why do you think anyone else would?
Its not raised or very obvious otherwise you would have noticed it before now?
And even if it was, I don’t think people comment or bully about things like that now especially something so light on the leg, lots of kids will have similar birthmarks.
Ds best friend has a dark birthmark on the back of his calf and it is noticeable but he doesn’t get bullying for it.
Two boys in my class at school had birthmarks on their necks, even 30 years nobody really commented other than the same pricks who tried to bully everyone; I have loads of moles and was going grey before I left school, I got same amount of stick for that ie nothing I couldn’t handle.
One of those boys did have his birth mark removed but to be honest it looked worse after because you could see the scar, hopefully it’s improved and he got the result he wanted in the end.

It wasn't there before. Maybe do some research before you leave sarcy comments.

Please also see above @sashh

Noticed DD's birthmark for the first time today, DH worried it's going to be big
OP posts:
Mummy08m · 17/08/2023 08:16

@LuckyCats wasn't being sarcy, I think it was a kind and helpful comment.

I didn't think this about op before but I do now... I know lots of adults (tbh mostly women) who have been messed up by their mums forcing strange beauty/ugliness notions on them. For example, I know women who can't even go to the corner shop without makeup because their mum convinced them they had an ugly mole etc. Or women who won't wear shorts/skirts because their mum made them feel their legs were fat. Op you must, really, let go of this hangup, that I sense you have, that girls need to be flawless to be beautiful. Your justification that you wouldn't say it directly to your dd doesn't wash - she'll be smart enough to sense your feelings before she's too old.

I don't know how to go about this, maybe embrace your own flaws, go without makeup sometimes, listen to podcasts on the subject... idk but address this before you give your dd a complex

Mummy08m · 17/08/2023 08:17

So many commrnters on this thread, including me, have told you we have similar or larger marks that we completely ignore and forget about. This is the outcome you want for your daughter. It starts now, with your own mindset

LIZS · 17/08/2023 08:28

Dc has one similar, it has not really grown and you have to look pretty hard and know where it is.

Cismyfatarse · 17/08/2023 08:32

DD has a similar one, but darker, on her calf. She loves it and that is because we either ignored it or, if anyone pointed it out, told them it was a 'special mark". She defended another child with a similar mark by telling the bully that it must be sad just having "plain skin". She was about 6. Now 21.

It is nothing to worry about.

lavenderlou · 17/08/2023 08:35

That is barely visible. My DD has a birthmark on her wrist, dark brown, about the size of a 20p coin. It is less noticeable now that she is older because it takes up less of her arm proportionally. But nobody has ever mentioned it and it doesn't bother her at all, even as a teen.

Whataretheodds · 17/08/2023 08:38

elm26 · 16/08/2023 23:44

Oh god I didn't mean for it to come across like we care about it, she's our perfect little girl, we adore her and everything about her. Just know kids can be cruel that's all! My Mum has quite a large one on her arm and is really self conscious of it.

So your job as parents will be to make sure that she doesn't get hung up on it. If she does mention it be ready with a nonchalant shrug.

You may also just need to ensure your mum is in line with that and doesn't project her insecurity about her own birthmark onto your daughter. No fussing about needing to cover it up or anything like that.