Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the council for a 3 bedroom house although I only have 2 boys?

37 replies

colditz · 28/02/2008 18:43

the background is this

We live in a teeny tiny 2 bed house

Ds1's behavior is such that the school are referring him to a paediatrician.
He has no furniture in his room. He has no toys in his room.

Now DS2 has to share this room too. I bought bunk beds because there is no way 2 single beds will fit in there, but to be honest, ds1 is not going to behave appropriately around a bunk bed for as far as I can see!

I keep finding him in ds2's cot, which isn't safe, but soon ds2 will be too old for this cot, and a single bed isn't going to fit in there.

All there furniture is either in my room or on the (tiny) landing.

All the toys they own are downstairs - nowhere else to put them.

AIBU? AIB grabby?

There have just been a huge amount of houses built in this town, mostly HA. I don't care where I live - I'm in a crap area anyway, would be happy to stay here if ONLY I had more room.

OP posts:
pedilia · 28/02/2008 18:44

You could ask but I wouldn't hold your breath. Could you consider an exchange?

AngharadGoldenhand · 28/02/2008 18:45

Sounds fine to ask. Would your GP support you?

nutcracker · 28/02/2008 18:46

You could ask for it on medical grounds yes, and no yanbu at all. You would need supporting evidence of Ds1's problems, but with that I would think you would be put on a list for a 3 bed.

Original poster
colditz · 28/02/2008 18:47

I don't know - there are a few people round here with one child in a 3 bed house. It's 2 beds they are short of.

I've been on the exchange list for 2 years, and would certanly consider it, pedilia.

I wouldn't even know how to ask the GP, AGH. I wouldn't know what to say. Would he even be aware that the school are referring ds1?

OP posts:
2shoes · 28/02/2008 18:51

sounds like you need someone fighting your corner. do see your gp if he can't help he will be able to point you in the right direction.
when we got our HA hose(disabled access) it was all down to a ss ot who did all the leg work.

nutcracker · 28/02/2008 18:53

Colditz, this site is good for looking for and advertising for an exchange.

Original poster
colditz · 28/02/2008 18:54

I don't even know if he has special needs.

To be honest, my head has been firmly wedged in the sand regarding this. I meet his needs and don't talk to other people who don't feel the need to do stuff like this. Then I don't have to admit that it's not normal.

OP posts:
PersonalClown · 28/02/2008 18:57

Do you have a special needs register for your housing list?
I was advised to apply through that to get a house for me and Ds as he had learnt to unlock all safety catches in the windows. We were in a first floor flat!!
You fill that in, give as much details as possible and official reports etc that you think might help, maybe ask a few professionals to write a 'reference'.
A doctor will read all the details and decide on whether you get the extra points or however your housing needs are decided.

AngharadGoldenhand · 28/02/2008 19:00

Sorry, thought you might have seen GP about son's behaviour or that school might have informed GP. Don't really know how these things work.

But anyway, I'd approach the GP and get him/her on board. It certainly wouldn't hurt to get a medical letter to go with your application for a larger house.

ScruffyTeddy · 28/02/2008 19:10

If you lived under my council you would have more chance of looking in the queen's handbag.

I had to put in my own wall to make this house three bedroomed as I think the age of the eldest child is 12 (different sex) before they would even consider rehousing me. At considerable cost to myself, which I will never get back as if I do move, I have to take the wall back out. I only have a sink upstairs because the plumber did it on the sly, and as for a loo? forget it, 4 year old is expected to walk all through the house right to the back in the middle of the night if she needs a wee (like she'd get that far).

Most houses in the street modernised, no money for mine im told because an elderly gent lived here 10 years ago and refused modernisation.

But they're doing my neighbour's house this year.

LadyOfWaffle · 28/02/2008 19:15

YANBU, but I wouldn't hold your breath. A friend of DHs have 2 boys and a girl and only have a 2 bed (one is a single). It is HA though, so don't know if that works differently.

bratnav · 28/02/2008 19:23

Definitely worth a try, I can see that if you are not sure if your son has SEN you would prefer not to apply on that basis, but your GP would definitely ber the first port of call. They should be aware of the schools referral and can write you a supporting letter if they feel it's appropriate.

If you apply on this basis, you MUST describe the full extent of DS1 behavior and the effect you feel it will have on DS2. My parents friend does housing work for the local council and she says that often the reason people aren't given alternative housing if it's available is because they haven't described the full extent of the issues they have (ie the 'mustn't grumble' theory). I'm not suggesting exagerating btw.

Not sure if my ramble will help, but hope it will.

MarkStretch · 28/02/2008 19:31

Colditz- see if there is any tenancy support available in your area. This is the job I do and we are always fighting for people to be moved to more suitable accomodation for various reasons. It's good to have someone in your corner who knows the ropes.

Contact Shelter too - they may be able to help and advise. Here is their website.

Trolleydolly71 · 28/02/2008 19:41

Message withdrawn

MrsMattie · 28/02/2008 19:42

Worth stating your case, but it's very unlikely you'll get a 3 bed with 2 same sex siblings...

ScruffyTeddy · 28/02/2008 19:54

Trolley, no offence but she shouldn't have had that really, how on earth did she get it?

ScruffyTeddy · 28/02/2008 19:55

mrsmattie, unlikely to get a three bed with two different sex siblings!

Original poster
colditz · 28/02/2008 19:56

I know it's unlikely.

It might be worth a shot though. Maybe.

OP posts:
Original poster
colditz · 28/02/2008 19:56

It does depend where you live - I'm not in the south-east.

OP posts:
ScruffyTeddy · 28/02/2008 19:57

There's no harm in trying colditz, just dont get your hopes up

dippydeedoo · 28/02/2008 20:02

i wonder if you could word it in a way that hints he has SEN but its being investigated that way you dont actualy have to fib and you can 'exgerate' a little it seems to me that those who shout loudest get most so if i were you i would apply id cite a million reasons and hound and pester maybe befriend a assistant in the housing dept? best of luck Colditx x

expatinscotland · 28/02/2008 20:03

Not unreasonable, but you'd likely never get offered that in many councils.

In Edinburgh at least, most of the housing stock of all sorts is 2 beds at most.

And in Dunoon, there are two families in DD1's nurseries that are families of 7 in 2 bed homes - children of different sexes, too.

There are just NO 3 bed homes available.

Original poster
colditz · 28/02/2008 20:03

I know I am lucky to live in a house at all - I know that families in London are in one room etc.

But as my council won't put you in a 3 bedroom house if you only have one child, and me leaving this house would leave a 2 bedroom house empty, I might even be getting someone out of temp accomodation.

If it wasn't for the bedroom issue I would be happy here. It's a nice little house - it's just that I can't see bunk beds ever working with ds1.

OP posts:
Original poster
colditz · 28/02/2008 20:04

most of our local housing stock is 3 bedroom - it was all built in the 1970s

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 28/02/2008 20:09

that's extraordinary, cold! hope it works out for you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread