Page 4 | Ex not having children overnight?

BananaSlug · 2023-08-14T20:47:31+00:00

Broke up with ex 6 years ago. Since then he has never once had the kids overnight. Always excuses. People keep telling me you can't force a parent to parent and to just get on with it but aibu to ask him if he ever plans to have them overnight?

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 16/08/2023 08:56

WandaWonder · 15/08/2023 04:02

I hope that is not a genuine suggestion

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It’s no different to what he is doing.

BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 16/08/2023 19:42

You've not even asked? Just ask him when he can have the kids overnight. If he says no then you know the answer. This is a strange thread

Lovemusic33 · 16/08/2023 19:45

My ex is the same, one of my dc is severely autistic and he uses that as an excuse, says his flat isn’t safe for her, he also uses the excuse that there isn’t enough room for them to stay even though he has a spare room. We split 7 years ago and he hasn’t had them stay once, this means I don’t get any time to go out for a evening or to have any kind of relationship, I think that’s how he likes it, apparently because I’m the one who kicked him out I shouldn’t moan about the situation I find myself in.

Thelonelygiraffe · 16/08/2023 20:02

He doesn't pay maintenance? Why not? Go through CMS.

And yes, ask him again to have the dc overnight. But if he's so shit that he won't even pay for his own dc, it doesn't sound as if he'd do that.

What a loser.

And in your case I'd suck it up and ask for respite care. You're important too, OP.

Original poster

BananaSlug · 16/08/2023 21:25

BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 16/08/2023 19:42

You've not even asked? Just ask him when he can have the kids overnight. If he says no then you know the answer. This is a strange thread

If you read properly i HAVE asked. I gave up asking because he said NO and people told me I can't force him to be a parent and to STOP asking. So I did. This is about should I try again as its been a couple of years since I last asked. I have asked I can't keep begging I gave up because "you cant force someone" this is about broaching the subject again

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Original poster

BananaSlug · 16/08/2023 21:26

He doesn't pay because he doesn't work.

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Thelonelygiraffe · 16/08/2023 21:28

He's a useless waste of space then. You should start planning your life without any expectation of him, as he will let you down.

Original poster

BananaSlug · 16/08/2023 21:29

Lovemusic33 · 16/08/2023 19:45

My ex is the same, one of my dc is severely autistic and he uses that as an excuse, says his flat isn’t safe for her, he also uses the excuse that there isn’t enough room for them to stay even though he has a spare room. We split 7 years ago and he hasn’t had them stay once, this means I don’t get any time to go out for a evening or to have any kind of relationship, I think that’s how he likes it, apparently because I’m the one who kicked him out I shouldn’t moan about the situation I find myself in.

Sounds very similar, I also think my ex doesn't even like me having time to myself. He doesn't like taking them anywhere without inviting me along which I obviously say no to. My daughters needs mean its difficult to go anywhere or do anything.

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