Parents penalised for formula feeding

[thechristmaspudding]

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

Agree it's weird to complain people sneered at you. Then you also go and sneer at others for the opposite choice all because "I had my fair share". You sound about 5 years old.

OK, so breastfeeding mothers are not rewarded. Is it not OK that actually noone is rewarded/benefitted and that rewards are kept away from infant feeding.

I had an opened tin of formula and put it on a local Facebook parents' free stuff group. Are you not supposed to do that? Seems a bit off. I just wanted it not to be wasted.

This . We in the UK are so cut off from breast feeding.

Boobs on page 3 - acceptable & normal.
Boobs being used to feed children - abnormal and l, to some extent, unacceptable.

There was virtually nowhere I felt comfortable feeding.

I have three older sisters and none of them breast fed past a week or so. I'd never seen it. I tried watching YouTube videos. Neither my mum not my sisters could advise or help because they hadn't done it. Mum and one sister were helpless verging on obstructive. I was made to feel selfish, foolish, idealistic, unrealistic, earth mama wannabe, zealous etc for wanting to. It was so clearly seen as pointless by the. And they so clearly thought a baby could not he fed to sustenance that way.

The midwives were useless.

I was advised to use sticky, non spreading lanolin on deep gouges I had on both nipples. They stayed sticky and sore. I had an Epsom salts bath, entirely my own idea; and they closed up and healed v quickly.

The breast feeding support consisted of me sitting in a narrow room with three women and their male husbands/partners sitting opposite .... The men trying to avert their eyes from women other than their wives, while the assistants went around each couple (or in my case just me, because I'd left my partner in the car). I paid for a private midwife session rather than go back. That was pretty much useless too - the only thing of use was her telling me I could just feed from one breast if one wasn't working out, as it wasn't at the time.

I had one public place where I felt just about comfortable breast feeding in public, esp if the other antenatal class Mums were there doing it too, but I moved back home to my rural, parochial, conservative region of the UK and there was nowhere I felt comfortable.... I never saw other women breast feeding. Then I travelled (put under pressure to see relatives with the baby) and same story, so what little breast feeding I was doing fell away.

There is no culture of breast feeding in this country.

The contrast of the Botoxed, lip filled, brear implanted, glam, cleavage-y, page 3, culture we've got . With the discomfort we have with the use of breasts for their main purpose is beyond fucked up.

*breast implanted, obviously

Actually there used to be more brands of milk including supermarket brands.

It's very difficult to compete on price in the market - there is enormous brand loyalty and the bulk of the cost to the leading brands is in marketing to reinforce this loyalty, and the image of an Aptimil baby or a SMA baby.

The formula is set by law to be as nutritious and safe as possible. Any differences are marketing, not proven improvements - if they were proven beneficial all formulas would have it.

Formula is good, essential food for babies and massively overpriced.

Oh and the NHS insistence in NHS antenatal classes on teaching only breast feeding meant that my partner and I were having to look up and follow instructions online for safely making up a bottle of formula, while stressed shitless and sleep deprived and me with a caesarian wound etc. Not one word on how to do what we ended up forced to do what felt like a million times by the time lo was 6 months.

Even the MHS antenatal breast feeding info ..... What little breast feeding I managed was due to watching YouTube on breast feeding and pumping.

This wasn’t my experience I must admit.

yes, antenatal classes were all geared around breastfeeding. But when I actually gave birth, I said I was formula feeding and the midwives both times were wonderful. No judgement. Handed me a bottle of premade formula (hospital had a huge stock) and gave advice and assistance as and when necessary. Also encouraged me to take some bottles home for the first few days.

i have experienced plenty of crap from other mums. But never from healthcare staff.

and judgement they felt was shocking. and it came from women. why on earth why ?

Because, as much as I'm a misandrist, Id have to say that quite a proportion of women enjoy feeling superior to and putting down other women.

I understand the rules about promotions and why they exist but I do think the price of formula is shocking and possibly could lead to it being diluted or other milks used incorrectly instead.

And I say this as someone who's exclusively breastfed two babies - the formula I mentioned giving away in an earlier post was some I'd bought just in case and never used.

I meant unopened tin. Obviously I wouldn't have tried to donate an opened one!!

Are you referring to me? I haven’t sneered at anyone? As I say I wouldn’t, what people do with feeding their own children is entirely their choice?

Would you feed your infant from a second hand open jar of baby food?

You haven’t sneered at anyone, any more than I have. This thread’s bonkers.

Imagine being so arrogant you think that everyone’s experience mirrors you’re.

Ive BFed 2 children. One was a breeze. The other was a living nightmare. It was painful, exhausting, relentless and ended in numerous infections.

Im really not sure why you’re pretending it isn’t hard work when you know it is

I’m not sure it’s superiority.
I think there are a lot of judgements that fly either way, and it’s a highly emotive topic, and online conversations are easily misinterpreted.

It’s a long time since I’ve breastfed, and when I was I would post on breastfeeding threads, at a point where it was highly important and relevant, and I am one of life’s blunt people - I would never have meant offence or anything other than trying to be helpful, but there were plenty of times when I was called sanctimonious.

Like I said earlier, if you’re a mother you’re wrong whatever you do. It’s a pity we can’t all be accepting that however a woman chooses to
feed her baby is her choice. Ditto to SAHM vs WOHM, parenting styles, feeding a child, it just goes on (but as time goes on and you’re wrangling teenagers it’s far less emotional, I think you realise by then that you’re just doing your best at the end of the day, and that’s what matters!). Early parenting days are so tough, there’s such a performative element to it, which I don’t think my parents generation had.

But….the instructions are on the pack. Unlike with breasts. What did you want to be taught that you couldn’t read on the pack? Surely it’s not a terrible hardship to do a tiny bit of research in this day and age

Wow some of the replies on here are absolutely hideous. Where has compassion and empathy gone?

I have had to combination feed both of my children. Both because of circumstances due to their births. Formula and a seriously non judgemental midwife saved dc1 life by having me introduce Formula on a home visit. She waited while we bought the everything we needed. Delayed a morning of appts and bothered to spend the time I needed to help feed and nourish my child. We then got admitted to hospital as dc lost so much weight.

My second was premature and tiny. We had nothing ready. Due to dc not being well the hospital didn't give me a choice besides bottle or cup for Formula top up. My milk was coming in while I was there with baby. I had to buy a breast pump plus the everything that's needed whilst on the recovery ward and have H bring it to me because although the hospital had Formula it didn't have a pump available to use, for hire or for sale. My supply was tanking before I could even get it established.

Both times I had a very good stash of colostrum harvested. That got used very quickly. I was prepared both times to EBF. it didn't happen.

Both of children are thriving and happy. Both have had the benefit of both breast and Formula.

Some women do not have a choice but to supplement or to ff. And, I know a couple of women who try to brazen it out by saying they didn't want to bf so ff instead. This is because they were more afraid of bf and failing then they were about ff and the judgement that comes with it.

Both methods of feeding have an expense attached to them. Both also have stigma and prejudice that go along with them. Women need to be championing each other not tearing each other apart.

Oh and wtf is breastfeeding privilege? Absolute nonsensical rubbish. The privilege is in being able to have children.

Oh look another uninformed twat!

I agree with @Oliotya that breastfeeding is a skill that needs to be learned. With 1 of mine they seemed to be born knowing what to do and I just had to aim his head in the vague direction of my boob and he would suck like an industrial vacuum cleaner. 1 could do that when he got the hang of it, 2 struggled and 1 physically couldn't do it and we also struggled with bottle feeding too. I'm not very co ordinated myself so I needed a lot of help, especially at the beginning, apart from my 5th who was so good at it, it didn't matter that I was a bit hopeless.

What did you want to be taught that you couldn’t read on the pack?

Reading something in small print on the side of a pack and trying to follow it under pressure for the first time while not having slept for several days & being in pain; is different from being shown how to do it or doing it in a non pressured, clear headed, relaxed scenario.

Not exactly sure why you needed that explained to you.

And we would have done that ourselves at home, even if the class hasn't done it, if the class hasn't given us the impression that everyone could and should breast feed. I had two bottles of premade formula and a packet of powder in the (unlikely, was the impression I'd been given) that breast feeding didn't work. The premade was gone in half an hour.

Oh and the instructions are all very well for making up formula, which you then have to wait to cool down to drinking temp or try to cool down in cold water etc etc. You're supposed to make it from scratch every time and cool it down ...... Our lo would have imploded the house from the screaming during that time. And we were so fkg exhausted from the delightful hospital stay and then the 20-40 mins feeding napping routine (she still didn't sleep through the night at nearly 3) that waking up half an hour before was a lovely idea that rarely happened.

Information on how to safely make up and store formula beforehand is not on the packs.

Incidentally why is that that MM is just so chick full of (purposefully?) obtuse, provocative, rude cu next tuesdays ..... All the fucking time.

People who'd be smacked if they spoke to others in real life the way they think they have a license to on here.

So very true.

have H bring it to me because although the hospital had Formula it didn't have a pump available to use, for hire or for sale.

This country is just so fkg useless at breast feeding support.

I bought a pump off eBay because of watching US YouTube videos.