Parents penalised for formula feeding

[thechristmaspudding]

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

I’m not sure what kind of company you keep but I don’t know people who would smack others for having a difference of opinion

Most parents to be know that there is a possibility the baby will need formula. So surely you factor the cost in when you are financially planning a child.

@TheoTheopolis23 anyway, why you think the NHS should waste precious resources on training people to do something very simple and easy to learn, on behalf of private companies that make a fortune at the very expense of the NHS, baffles me.

Honestly I think most people skip over the boring stuff.

I once read a quote about ‘if only people put as much research into feeding their babies as they do into what pram to buy’ and it’s very true.

I don't buy into the 'there's no support for bf'.

For my bf baby, if I needed it, there were local groups every weekday. There was a local expert (doula/boob consultant etc) who you could phone or message. If there was capacity (which there usually was) you could choose to stay in hospital longer for extra help with bf.

For my ff baby, nothing. And yes, that support would have been useful. I had more trouble with my 'latch' for bottles than boobs. Others I know found themselves bewildered at 3am trying to make a bottle for the first time.

When we asked our NCT leader if she could briefly go over bottle feeding with us as well as having the dedicated bf session (led by the local lady above, she refused.

Short of someone cloning my boobs and sending me for some well needed rest, there was no further support that could he given locally. Sometimes 'lack of support' actually means 'it was just ridiculously hard' because no level of support can actually give a new mum the rest that she needs.

This

I just think, if you can't afford formula, how are you going to be able to afford everything else you baby needs? A few Boots points seems like nothing compared to all the other costs.

For you always buy the cheapest version of everything? I think people psychologically want to feel they are giving their children the best they can afford.

For me, it wasn't the amount of breastfeeding support that was lacking, but the quality. I had hours of breastfeeding support from the midwives but it was a complete waste of NHS resources as they didn't diagnose his tongue tie and as a result they could never get baby to latch. I had to first ask for a tongue tie assessment and then pay to get his tongue tie snipped privately when the midwife said that baby was fine. Baby latched on as soon as the tongue tie was snipped. I was privileged to have access to a hospital pump but it wasn't the easiest system to use and not all the midwives knew how to use it. No one knew how to make pumping sustainable. I found pumping bras and different sized breast shields by chance - before this I had pain because the breast shield didn't fit properly and I would spill milk out of the funnel when I pumped because I was so tired I kept falling asleep when holding the pump to my breast. I'm only breastfeeding now because I had read that tongue ties could be an issue and I had the money to get my baby treated privately and buy an expensive hands free pump. I'm very lucky to be breastfeeding now but I'm also grateful for formula - it helped feed baby in the early weeks while we were establishing breastfeeding.

Mums who BF get points on breast pads, pumps, nipple shields & cream, why shouldn't mums who FF get points on formula as well?

It's not fair. It's a shitshow. Only follow on can be advertised etc when most parents (barring allergies) would have naturally moved their kids onto regular cows milk by then.
At the prenatal classes I attended when pregnant with DD in 2011 all they talked about was breastfeeding. I was unable to prepare to do that because of past abuse. I approached the ladies who presented the sessions afterwards and asked more advice on formula feeding. Each one told me that they can't tell me. They could tell me how to give birth naturally or via c section and advise on the variety of procedures that might be necessary, but they couldn’t tell me in advance anything about formula feeding. Is it any wonder how many of us got it wrong?
Feeding babies is obviously essential. But to formula feed we've got to rely on the info on the back of the tin. When I did give birth we were left 3 hours afterwards asking several times for formula (we weren't allowed to use the sterilised bottles and ready made formula we'd brought with us). I recovered from my epidural enough to shower (with assistance from her Dad, bleeding all over the floor as i went) well before DD was given a feed. It took her Dad getting quite angry with the midwives before a bottle was brought to her. I wish I'd have fought harder but I was only 22 and I really went through the mill during labour. I

I had my first child in 2010 and the support was horrific I tried to breastfeed for a bit but everyone said not to. Need to use formula but then that was hard work!!

Yeah but if she bought a breast pump she would have been able to access special offers and points....so she is being treated unfairly

@kitsuneghost @DisquietintheRanks of course it would be a good idea for people to factor in the cost of formula before planning a child. But families fall on hard times. A parent loses their job, someone becomes ill, a mother is left alone when a father walks out and leaves her. Can you imagine how desperate someone must be to water down or to steal formula? To then take the high and mighty attitude of "well you should have thought about this before you had children" is a cruel attitude that belongs in a Charles Dickens novel. I can't help but think you would not say this about a mother who is standing in line at a food bank or living in temporary accommodation because they could no longer afford their rent. But yes you are right to say that a few boots points will hardly solve the issue.

Actually if you are BF you should be consuming more calories so yes you do pay to breastfeed.

I made a rather important typo - I corrected myself further down. It was an unopened pack, not an opened one!

I'm with you. We ran out of the pre-made we'd hastily bought when realising BF wasn't going to be a thing we could achieve. At 4am we were iin the kitchen with a crying, tiny baby, realising we didn't have a steriliser so having to work out how to boil the bottles etc correctly, then make up the formula. Once you've got it cracked and in a routine you can literally do it in your sleep (and we would, regularly). But no information is given to you before hand other than "breast is best" so you feel like an utter failure when you can't BF and then FF seems like this complicated nightmare you were never prepared for.

I even had my mother telling me how good she was at BF like it was just expected I'd also be amazing at it.

I actually didn’t switch to aptamil. I went to my local supermarket and saw baby formula on the shelves picked up the one with the biggest stock as indicative of how easy it would be for me to repurchase when I ran out and went to the tills.

As I’m not a complete idiot I went to the baby food aisle not the alcohol isle when buying food for my baby hence why I selected formula not gin 🙄

As if! I would have breast feed over formula feed if I could, the cost of formula is astronomical - FF would not be given free money 😂 they are spending approx £25 a week on formula vs BF who spend £0.

There seems to be a misconception that breastfeeding is free but people also forget most will have breast pumps that often cost hundreds , supplies for that including the same bottles as sterilisers etc , breastfeeding bras and clothes ( again account for quite a lot, specially if like me your breast size varies a lot during the first year ) breast pads , cream etc . People will easily spend a few hundred pounds the first couple of months if not more than hundreds . Nobody helps nursing mums too . People on benefits easily access formula , they get a pre paid card here in Scotland and I’m sure there is similar in England . There is actually a lot more cheaper stuff than when I first was a mum 22 years ago , nappies and wipes are cheaper than 22 years ago , formula was £9 back then so actually hasn’t increased that much . Not being able to use a discount is not punishment imo , it’s basically the same as the sugar tax , promoting a healthier alternative .

Except it’s not 0 , is it ? Nursing pars , nursing clothes , nursing bras , breast pumps , cream . To get to be free you probably need to spend a few hundred .

It depends. I bought two nursing bras and a pack of lanolin cream (which actually was a waste of money as I used it once). Total cost about £60. That wouldn't buy much formula.

Obviously some people will need more stuff, but it's not true that everyone needs to spend hundreds to be able to breastfeed.

Even if you don't buy much stuff, the additional calories you need aren't free. Not as much as formula obviously, but it does have a cost.

Oh, I did buy a pack of pads (couple of quid), then was given some reusable ones (I don't know how much they would have been if I'd bought them).

I also later bought a Haaka and some nursing tops, but I didn't need those - I needed a couple of new tops and thought I might as well get nursing ones. The Haaka I did use to get an emergency stash for the freezer, but that never got used (and I didn't bother doing it with DD2) so in retrospect I'd put that in the "probably a waste of money" category as well.

See I had no support. I had to latch my son before we left hospital but the midwife did that. When I got home it was awful and continued to be awful for months and months. I kept calling the feeding team at the hospital, they didn’t help. I went to my GPs but they didn’t help. I spoke to my HV but she wasn’t much help. My nipples were numb, my son wasn’t doing well, it was a mess. I had to pay a lactation consultant to come and help me with my positioning etc who then diagnosed my son with a really tight and severe tongue tie. This turned out to be just the start of our problems as we ended up in hospital some time after due to feeding issues! I’m still feeding him 3 years later but it was a battle, a battle I had to fight really hard to do, and mostly, alone. He wouldn’t take a bottle, even though we tried different bottles, teats, milks etc. no one supported me, it was just ‘get on with it’.

The problem in this country is that we support pregnant mothers but once the baby is out it’s see you later. Feeding support is very poor for both breast and bottle. Mental health support is really poor (been through that too, was told that perinatal wouldn’t support me unless I said I was suicidal or a danger to my child). No ongoing support for issues surrounding Bahamian weakness which is why so many women have bladder problems as they age. We care about mums when the baby is part of their body it we discard them once baby is out, even though it takes years for a woman to recover from having a child. It’s not okay.