Double mastectomy - flat- nurse made me feel like shit!

[Stressedgiraffe]

Went to the hospital today to pick up foobs. Nurse made me feel like shit.
I had a smx 12 years ago and the other smx 4 weeks ago so now flat.
I've bought a bra but am not wearing the soft boobs.
She questioned me as to why not and that I should wear the foobs. As "it's more feminine and people might look and wonder"
Ffs I might wear them but I'm finding it freeing to be flat. Why is that so difficult to understand?

Some people are just plain ignorant and shouldn't be allowed to deal with people as part of their job.

I totally agree with this. I was certain I didn't want reconstruction but I wish bush as more info and thought more about going flat. I'm SO unbalanced now, I want to get it done

Deeply insensitive of her.

A while back, I remember a sailing friend who'd had a double mx found herself chasing down the road after her dog who'd run off with one of the prostheses. She was yelling, "Bring back my fillets" and suddenly heard herself.

She decided at that moment that she was more bothered about catching the tide, that she was wearing them for other people rather than herself, found them a bit uncomfortable anyway, and never wore them again.

Everyone's mileage will vary with this but it really should be all about you and your preferences.

Good luck, OP!

Also Nursing and Midwifery Council

Aawww no, what an awfully insensitive thing for her to say @Stressedgiraffe ! People like that should engage their brain before opening their mouths! 🤫
Hope you're ok lovely! xo 💜

Sorry you experienced such ignorant comments. Hope you're OK.

You might find https://flatfriends.org.uk/ a useful resource/community.

Dear god that's appalling!

This is incredibly rude and you should complain. I’m sure you look lovely OP.

That is terrible. I’ve had two mastectomies and am flat. I feel feminine and womanly and I think I look great. I’ve always been quite a stylish dresser - if I do say so myself - and I still think I am. Obviously, I’d rather have kept my breasts if possible, but that wasn’t to be. I did look at the reconstruction options, and debated over what to do before turning them down. None were right for me.

I'm also a nurse, so sorry about this stupidly insensitive comment.
Please contact PALS, this needs to be addressed with the nurse involved. She clearly needs educating.
I hope you are OK x

Don't care. I'd rather one less nurse than one who is so judgemental. They clearly can't perform the required standard of care.

Yeah sack her and ship in more nurses from poor countries to hold up the NHS.

So sorry OP. That was a shit thing for her to say. You should definitely complain on this occasion.

That’s insensitive but calling for her to be sacked is ridiculous

Some people have the sensitivity of a brick. You just met one of them.

I'd have shoved the disgusting nhs false tit in her face
Then complain complaiin
Iknow
Hope you are ok x

Bullshite
You been there?

So sorry you got that treatment op. I’ve had a single mastectomy following chemo for aggressive breast cancer. I’m big boobed and hope to have my other one off at some point for symmetry. Loads of people including medical professionals seem incapable of understanding that not all women want reconstruction. I didn’t ask for bc and then to be Uni boobed. But atm I don’t want an 8 hour op to get new boobs, although the tummy tuck it would require to make the boobs is a bit enticing 🤣

Just because there aren't enough doesn't mean we should keep crap ones.

You should complain and whilst doing so I'd also ask how much the trust has spent on Equality, Diversity and Inclusion training. This nurse hasn't particularly behaved well in relation to sex or disability.

Sorry about this you've been through so much without crass comments 🌺

The best "fake" I've found is £10 from M&S and I've got a drawer full of floppy "realistic" fakes including one for swimming which I've never used

She’s an idiot. Just feel pity for her , to be going around like that all day!

Poor poor you OP. First of all, I hope you are cancer free and healthy now. WELL DONE to you for coming through it.
If you feel like you want to wear the fake boobs, or go for reconstruction - that is great. If you don't, that is also fine. Boobs don't define you as a woman. Your scars are warrior scars, they show how brave you are. Anything else is your choice.

The nurse is an absolute idiot. In addition to all the other things wrong with what she said, it's also just not true that people will look and wonder, or that you will look 'less feminine' - because (news flash) LOADS of women have little breasts that pretty much look flat except in the most figure-hugging tops.

I speak as one who is tiny of breast, and mostly I am glad of the comfort and convenience . So do continue to enjoy the freedom of flat, op. And just wear the foobs if and when you have a yen for them. xx