How do you cope with losing everything financially ?

[User5512]

We lost over 50% of out net worth due to a failed business. Last year we had a chance to sell it at a small loss. We kept going and it’s now probably going to dogs. I’m totally struggling to cope and now facing redundancy.

Im scared I’ll die of stress. Has anyone survived something similar and lived to tell your story?

My kids are small, I’m scared I’ll die in my sleep. My chest feels tight all the time. I don’t know what to do .

what is your total net worth? really hard to understand without knowing the context

We as a family have lost everything, we are currently living in a homeless hostel. I and my oldest son get up and go to work, my youngest children go to college and sixth form. It is hard, I cry sometimes, sometimes I am furious. I just try to keep going, the anxiety sometimes is something else.

Be gentle with yourself, and try to breathe. I say it a lot in my head, especially if feeling anxious

Similar but different. We got ourselves into £70k debt, but we were young. But v stressful. We’re now older 40s with a business (employing 10 people).

like above poster says how much money will you have left.

if you’ve got young kids you must be fairly young.

can you see this as an opportunity to have a fresh start. Very often stress (tight chest) is because life is too complicated. Can you shut the business now, both get jobs, reduce outgoings and move to a very simple life. Just spend a year going for walks, meal
planning and recovering. You will get through this without doubt. Start taking action and making some decisions. You can recover from this.

Yes I've lived through it. I worked for a company for 6yrs, got DH a job there and it went under 3 yrs later. We both faced redundancy with no payout. I got out early and got another job, it was really tight but we covered our costs. DH started a business which wasn't successful in the end so he got a basic job ASAP, not earning loads but at least it was regular income.
It was bloody rough and we had young kids, I remember making paper chains for fun Xmas decorations with the kids. We did lots of free activities and I became queen of frugality.
12yrs later: DH stuck at his job and is now earning double after promotions. I'm earning well and work for a fab company. We are still quite frugal and prefer to save than spend.

What helped me when my dp's business went under was planning for the worst case scenario.

Can one parent get a stable job elsewhere?

Is your home tied to the business?

What is important to your dc is having you, not things. Can you see a GP about your stress? That sounds really scary.

Yes, I have been in your situation and I am sorry to hear you are going through this.

Is your business a limited company meaning you will not be liable for debts and will not lose your home, or are you in a sole tradership or partnership and therefore liable? That makes a huge difference. We lost everything. Our home and car were repossessed. We also had a small child to worry about.

Take everything in small steps. Try to stay calm; you need to practice some self-care even if its the last thing you are thinking of as you are going to have to be strong. See your GP if needed, try meditation Youtube vids, go out in nature, make sure you are eating ok - whatever you know helps you to keep it together.
You are your children's world and so long as you seem ok to them they will feel reassured.

You need to involve others who can help you out in this situation. Friends and family, free debt helplines, your bank, people you owe money to. Some people are kind and will help or be sympathetic. Don't put your head in the sand, you need to confront this head on. I found my MP was amazing and helped to negotiate with people for us. Their team also helped us find housing. Citizens Advice were also good for information.

I'm 15 years on from this now. We built back up and own our own home outright now and have a successful business. Our adult child is doing great. It was hard getting here and we had to accept for a while that our lifestyle had changed but we learned to find happiness in small things.

A lot of people go through this, especially these days. You will be ok, just take a little step each day to sort it out.

Think calmly about your next steps. If the business is clearly going to fail, then perhaps you could shut it down sooner to limit the losses, possibly even go into bankruptcy to clear the debts if that's appropriate given other assets/debts. The sooner you do it, the sooner you can start to rebuild, get a job to earn money instead of getting deeper into debt with continuing the business.

Surely better to close the business and get a salaried job? Or at least one of you do this?

It's so tough, just wanted to send you a good luck wishes as I've been there too.
You will come out the other side and it will be like a bad dream.

We are lucky our home isn’t tied to the business. We invested all our cash savings into the business. The other 50% of our net worth is in pensions.

DH has a stable job, it covers our bills. We have 2 months outgoings saved as a rainy day fund. It really breaks my heart that we lost the last 10yrs of blood and sweat savings.

We are not running this business. DH and I have full time jobs (I’m being made redundant right now). The business is an investment with a friend. They run the business and are losing a similar amount too. Covid hit it hard and are still struggling to recover.

Your update is a bit of a dripfeed! So you've still got house, pensions, ability to cover all your bills through your husband's job? It's obviously a big shame your business is not doing well and you're being made redundant at the same time, I'm sure it is all very worrying for you, but it is massively different from losing everything

Sorry, not in the right frame of mind.

everything = all of cash savings.

Agreed, you made a gamble that didn’t pay off, that’s the risk you take in business, you have your home, pensions, and money in the bank, you are not homeless or destitute.

You have savings, pensions, a roof over you head and can cover all your bills. I understand it's not a race to the bottom but you are nowhere near being skint.

Wow. So you're fine actually, just don't have savings like most people

That's still not losing everything. People have come onto your post to talk of how they are currently living in a homeless hostel having lost everything. In comparison, you have lost your savings. Many of us have never had savings. Live off your wages and your means. Really unfair to word this as if you are in any way similar to PP or anyone who has lost everything 🙄

I mean most people don't have savings

When did I say I’m homeless or destitute? Oh wow, sorry me losing 50% of my net worth isnt up to your expectations !

I’m really sorry to read this, I really hope you find a permanent home soon for you and your children.

When did I say I’m homeless or destitute? Oh wow, sorry me losing 50% of my net worth isnt up to your expectations !

Your initial post implied it, you said you thought you were going to die in your bed

You've got 2 months income in the bank, you have private pensions sorted and you partner earns enough to cover your bills. No it's not great that you've lost a lot of savings but you are going to be absolutely fine.

I'm a small business owner, I have £90 in my account, no savings and no private pension, trust me you are doing ok. Even I'm managing ok!

Yes. The stress is that high.

I think you need a bit of perspective for your own saving grace.

Yes, it's awful that things didn't pan out. It's scary and it feels like a huge loss. But things could be so much worse.
You have not lost your home. Your bills are covered. You have the ability to rebuild your savings - you still have some savings, albeit not a relatively huge amount. No one died.
This is nothing you can't come back from in spades.
I really think you need to see your GP for some medication to help you deal with the anxiety and then when you feel able, give yourself a good shake and count your blessings.

Well your thread title does suggest you lost everything. It literally says 'How do you cope with losing EVERYTHING financially' not just half your savings.

Bit disingenuous!