Covid Dilemma, 1st day of school

[typingcake]

I've caught Covid – probably at the Fringe last weekend when I took DS to some shows. Started feeling unwell on Thursday morning, felt like a stinking head cold. Tested positive on Friday. Tested DS who is 5 and he was negative.

I've self isolated myself as I don't want DH or DS to get it. Both are still testing negative. I'm still feeling horrendous 5 days in with all the usual symptoms plus jaw and tooth pain, earache and muted hearing etc.

We are in Scotland and my son starts P1 on Wednesday this week. I seriously doubt I'll be negative in 2 days… what should I do!? Surely I can't stay home and miss his first day of going to school? Should I mask up (which I have been doing when I've had to go downstairs) and go to the school gate and let my husband take him in?

What would you do?
Am I being unreasonable to want to be there while I have Covid!?

He is suspected ASD and we are on the long waiting list for assessment… he doesn't always cope well in new situations, on induction day he would not let me go and I had to go in with him then try and sneak off. This is a big deal for him and for us and I'd like to be there to support him.

@typingcake - given that this is what happened on Induction Day, in spite of your disappointment I wouldn't be going even as far as the gate if I were you. I would stay home and let your DH take him.

You clearly want to do the right thing for those who would be more vulnerable to Covid if they caught it, and although it would probably be OK for you take him, well masked up and staying well back from other people at the Gate - you could end up having to go in with him and that would put all your efforts at risk

So, stay home, take pics of him before he leaves the house, and put a big smile on your face, so he doesn't pick up on the fact that you are feeling sad that you can't go with him. You would be doing the kind thing for others who might be much sicker than you - and you sound very unwell already.

Have you missed the fact that emp!others expect their emp!others in ,even with Covid ?
And school ,s also.expect pupils in with Covid if they are well.enough its not rude its the reality now .

As the parent of an immunocompromised child, I totally understand how upsetting it is thinking about not seeing your child start school for the first time but for kids like ours you could be putting them at risk of not making it to school at all. When my son caught COVID he ended up ventilated for 2 weeks, and this was despite us being so careful to avoid catching it. Turns out a 'friend' didn't feel the need to tell us they had it and decided to visit anyway. We have to just trust that people have a strong conscience and don't take unnecessary risks.

They are in my kids schools.as long as they are well.enough to.work.

My husband works in a university and his work policy for employees with Covid is that they should go in to work if they are well enough, even if they test positive.

i think I know what I’m going to do so I’ll just leave it at this now.

My son goes to a special some pupils are on oxygen and tube fed when he had Covid like symptoms last year I asked wether I should attempt to test him.and wss told o could if I wanted but as long as he was well.enough to comevinto.school send him.in
I appreciate it must be frightening as the parent of an immune compromised child ,my older son wss in critical care six months ago ( not covid) and just missed bring put in a ventilator but he now is diabetic and his pancreas doesn't function all.as it wss necrotic,but he's still.expected to.get on with things his dad has too go.to.work.in a warehouse Covid or no Covid .

True! Staff in schools don’t have to test (the same as everyone else). NHS very clearly says ‘most people do not need to test’ and unless they are feeling too ill to work, will be expected to be in in a lot of schools. This will be the same in shops, cafes - all over! There will also be children in school with colds/coughs which could easily be covid.

She is talking about being outside where she can keep her distance and even in 2020 this was considered less of a concern. I think some people are being particularly harsh - especially those saying she is selfish for wanting to go on a play ground, keep her distance and wear a mask. Calling her selfish says more about the person saying it.

You should let your husband take him unless you are testing negative.

You dont need to be there, your husband is perfectly capable of taking him to school surely.

Covid can still make people very ill and you shouldn't be risking spreading it when there is a perfectly good other option.

Tbh you shouldn't be going into work with covid regardless of what your employer thinks, but if you really have no choice because you risk loosing your job then that is very different to wanting to take your kid to school when there is another perfectly capable adult who can do it instead of you.

I would stay away and let DH take him because you masking up and staying back will inevitably be harder for your DS than you staying at home.

Nobody MUST test, but OP already chose to.

It's very different being well enough to contribute to children's education by continuing to do the job you're paid to do, when feeling fine and knowing no different, or attending to take advantage of the education offered to you in the same circumstances. Comparatively, deliberately inserting yourself into the same environment when it serves no purpose and but to make you yourself feel happy, when knowing you're contagious because you were 'curious' and tested, is pretty much the definition of selfish.

Don’t worry if you’re not well enough. I understand it feels like a massive occasion, but it won’t really matter if you can’t go. I don’t think I can even remember my kids first days at school.

I taught Foundation once and children came in on their first days with grandparents in tow, balloons, dad taken the day off work etc. Virtually a trumpet fanfare.

OP, your little boy might need you more on his 5th or 6th day. Sometimes wobbles happen when they realise they’ve got to keep going to school 😂

My point was that there is no requirement to test now and so a lot of people don’t. A lot of those people will be out with covid. I understand that this person chose to test and was taking precautions that all those walking around with covid and not testing will not be. Calling her names seems pretty harsh to me when she’s doing more than a lot of people will be.

Are people really wearing masks in their own houses due to covid in 2023? 🤯

… and many people who have tested and know they have covid are still required to work.

It's unlikely you'll still be infectious by then, Wed is day 6. If you feel better go, if you feel like death then don't - but because you aren't well enough rather than it being anything to do with covid.

She's not doing more than most to keep anyone other than her own family safe - she's knowingly considering risking others for her own benefit.

Yes the first day is a milestone, but in the child's life. He will have the new experiences and the independence. The big impact on a parent is accepting letting them go a little, which can be done from the doorstep as well as the gate when you share parenting with another competent adult.

Describing someone's behaviour isn't name-calling. It's precise to say that wanting to 'be there' despite being potentially contagious is selfish as it's concerned with what she wants and disregards other people.

Not where I am. Sheffield LEA is still advising staff and pupils to 'stay home' if you know you have covid - or they were in June at least. 5 days for adults, 3 days for children.

I'm on Day 8 of covid. Still very ill and still getting very strong positive tests. I suspect I am still very contagious.

Just because there is no law about it any more, its still responsible to test and isolate if you have covid. The NHS guidelines are currently 5 days, or 10 days to go near anyone vulnerable.

I wouldn't wish how I feel on anyone. I'm also testing to protect my family.

Sticking your fingers in your ears and saying not to test doesn't make covid go away. It can be a really horrible illness with longterm effects. Apparently 10% get long covid.

keep your distance from others and go 😊

I haven’t acted anything out and yet I’m selfish? It’s just a discussion. I’ve told all my friends and family I have Covid, I’ve told clients. I have a friend who knew she had it and went about her business a few months ago. That’s not me and not what I’m doing. And just because I said I’m isolating because I didn’t want my family to catch it rather than saying anyone doesn’t mean I’m going about spraying it in peoples faces. I haven’t been out since Thursday.

how is having a discussion where I say I am thinking about doing “this”… make me selfish?

If daddy is there it should be fine. Also he might have togo in with him on the first day.

I think you'll be fine. Your currently day 5 by Wednesday I reckon you'll be feeling much better. Id mask up to reduce the risk to others and keep a distance.

My husband still tests for work. I have a heart issue and I'm asthmatic. I also have parents with health issues and a nan in a nursing home so we routinely test.

Just go! I dont know anyone in real life who still tests. You'll regret not going x