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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Covid Dilemma, 1st day of school

80 replies

typingcake · 14/08/2023 10:19

I've caught Covid – probably at the Fringe last weekend when I took DS to some shows. Started feeling unwell on Thursday morning, felt like a stinking head cold. Tested positive on Friday. Tested DS who is 5 and he was negative.

I've self isolated myself as I don't want DH or DS to get it. Both are still testing negative. I'm still feeling horrendous 5 days in with all the usual symptoms plus jaw and tooth pain, earache and muted hearing etc.

We are in Scotland and my son starts P1 on Wednesday this week. I seriously doubt I'll be negative in 2 days… what should I do!? Surely I can't stay home and miss his first day of going to school? Should I mask up (which I have been doing when I've had to go downstairs) and go to the school gate and let my husband take him in?

What would you do?
Am I being unreasonable to want to be there while I have Covid!?

OP posts:
Fotophrame · 14/08/2023 12:29

Mariposista · 14/08/2023 12:25

Check your calendar - we are now in 2023 and not in 2020!
Be there for your child!

She's been isolating from her child and husband. Seems like they can probably manage this without her too.

Mariposista · 14/08/2023 12:30

Fotophrame · 14/08/2023 12:29

She's been isolating from her child and husband. Seems like they can probably manage this without her too.

Poor child. Most 5 year olds would not understand why mummy does not want to be around them. And especially not a SN child.

Sugarfree23 · 14/08/2023 12:35

Op Wednesday is still 2 days away. You should be fine.

But options I'd avoid going inside the school but be there at pickup.

PuttingDownRoots · 14/08/2023 12:43

Mariposista · 14/08/2023 12:30

Poor child. Most 5 year olds would not understand why mummy does not want to be around them. And especially not a SN child.

When I had flu about 8 years ago DH had to keep my toddlers away from me, simply because I wasn't well enough. Children understood it was because Mummy was ill.

Mariposista · 14/08/2023 12:45

PuttingDownRoots · 14/08/2023 12:43

When I had flu about 8 years ago DH had to keep my toddlers away from me, simply because I wasn't well enough. Children understood it was because Mummy was ill.

Different case. You were actually very poorly and your toddlers might have been frightened seeing you like that. A sniffle is something else entirely.

thing47 · 14/08/2023 12:51

Covid varies @Mariposista. As OP said I'm still feeling horrendous 5 days in with all the usual symptoms plus jaw and tooth pain, earache and muted hearing etc. I think we can safely assume that it is quite a lot worse than a 'sniffle' for her!

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 12:54

Mariposista · 14/08/2023 12:25

Check your calendar - we are now in 2023 and not in 2020!
Be there for your child!

2023 and people are STILL coming out with this kind of bullshit!

Don't give people Covid on purpose, whatever your calendar says

funinthesun19 · 14/08/2023 13:08

redskytwonight · 14/08/2023 10:52

on induction day he would not let me go and I had to go in with him then try and sneak off.

That sounds like another good reason not to go with him.

Did you see the part where her son has suspected ASD? Her son will feel comfortable and settled having her there when he goes to school. If she stays at home he might have a meltdown before he even walks out of the door. Did that not occur to you?

OP my dd has suspected ASD too, and she’s starting full time school this time too. She would
definitely be very distressed and have a meltdown if I didn’t go with her. She likes routine, and her routine is that I have taken her to the nursery at the same school for the past two years. If I’m not there on her first day of reception it will be a nightmare for her.

Abbimae · 14/08/2023 13:09

Lots of lovely selfish people on here saying it doesn’t matter. From all us immunocompromised thanks a lot.

Abbimae · 14/08/2023 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Except it’s not. This level of stupid is scary. I cannot fathom how people are so blind that they still say this.

StripyHorse · 14/08/2023 13:21

Peony654 · 14/08/2023 10:26

If you feel well enough, just go. It’s outside anyway. And bin the tests - no idea why anyone still tests

Because some people want to try and avoid passing on a virus to others if they can help it. Yes it is mild for most, but not all. Not everyone who has a compromised immune system (or who has contact with someone with a compromised immune system) can avoid coming into contact with others.

I appreciate not everyone can isolate because of financial reasons but don't get at those people who can and are trying to do the right thing.

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:32

funinthesun19 · 14/08/2023 13:08

Did you see the part where her son has suspected ASD? Her son will feel comfortable and settled having her there when he goes to school. If she stays at home he might have a meltdown before he even walks out of the door. Did that not occur to you?

OP my dd has suspected ASD too, and she’s starting full time school this time too. She would
definitely be very distressed and have a meltdown if I didn’t go with her. She likes routine, and her routine is that I have taken her to the nursery at the same school for the past two years. If I’m not there on her first day of reception it will be a nightmare for her.

The child has a father who is available and willing to go.

funinthesun19 · 14/08/2023 13:43

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:32

The child has a father who is available and willing to go.

Yes and maybe the child’s primary carer is his mum. What’s wrong with her at least standing in the playground with him?

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:43

She's got covid. Did you miss the entire point?

Qilin · 14/08/2023 13:45

Abbimae · 14/08/2023 13:09

Lots of lovely selfish people on here saying it doesn’t matter. From all us immunocompromised thanks a lot.

They'll soon complain if their child's new teacher is then off work for a few days (or longer) due to catching covid from them, meaning their child has supply right at the start of the year.

We have staff who are immune suppressed due to their own health conditions.

And no - for many people it isn't just like a cold. As I've said before on here: a cold has never made me bed bound for several days, a cold has never had be rushed to hospital with a risk of stroke, a cold has never left me with a long term health condition, a cold has never left me needing to take medication for the rest of my life, a cold has never brought my immune system down so much I've developed pneumonia taking weeks to recover from.

Yes, some people have no choice.
Yes, some people don't even know.

But if you do know, and have alternatives, then why wouldn't you take them?

x2boys · 14/08/2023 13:48

Abbimae · 14/08/2023 13:09

Lots of lovely selfish people on here saying it doesn’t matter. From all us immunocompromised thanks a lot.

A,lot of people have no choice but to.do to.work.etc with Covid ,I have two.diabetic people in my household of four my son is insulin dependent but Covid or no.Covid his Dad still has to go to.work
.

funinthesun19 · 14/08/2023 13:49

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:43

She's got covid. Did you miss the entire point?

And her son has a disability that doesn’t just go away in a box when you want it to.

Ponderingwindow · 14/08/2023 13:53

please stay home.

there are still extremely vulnerable people out there. Some of them are even parents who have children in school. My husband wears a mask whenever he leaves the house and we all are very cautious, but people going out with any known serious illness is just rude.

typingcake · 14/08/2023 13:54

I don’t know why it would be fine for me to go at pick-up but not drop off? I’d either go or not go at all.

I’m veering on not going. Seems that’s what the majority here think anyway.

if I go it would be in a mask and stood back from everyone, including my boy.
While he may be ASD he is coping with me being ill incredibly well and hasn’t been upset with me being in a mask or isolating.

And the comment ‘it’s his first day not yours’ did annoy me, I asked ‘what would you do?’ Not to frame it so harshly with zero empathy. Is a child’s first day at school so ‘anticlimactic’ that we shouldn’t be proud and supportive of our children these days?

OP posts:
JaukiVexnoydi · 14/08/2023 13:54

If you feel well enough (and if DC don't get poorly) then go - wear a mask if you like but you will be very low risk as you won't be going in the building, just entering the playground for drop-off.

All the covid precautions were necessary when we didn't have vaccines or treatments and it was all new. It's not something that you can put your life on hold for any more, just be sensible and stay home while unwell and take basic precautions not to spread it but you don't need to quarantine.

Fotophrame · 14/08/2023 14:00

typingcake · 14/08/2023 13:54

I don’t know why it would be fine for me to go at pick-up but not drop off? I’d either go or not go at all.

I’m veering on not going. Seems that’s what the majority here think anyway.

if I go it would be in a mask and stood back from everyone, including my boy.
While he may be ASD he is coping with me being ill incredibly well and hasn’t been upset with me being in a mask or isolating.

And the comment ‘it’s his first day not yours’ did annoy me, I asked ‘what would you do?’ Not to frame it so harshly with zero empathy. Is a child’s first day at school so ‘anticlimactic’ that we shouldn’t be proud and supportive of our children these days?

You also asked "Am I being unreasonable to want to be there while I have Covid!?" and you definitely are. It's not essential you're there.

Your child having you (as well as his dad!) is not more important than everyone else who wishes to remain well.

You've tested, so you know you're a risk. You've used logic and isolated from those you care about because they could get severely ill from you. And still you think you need to be unnecessarily present somewhere where other families have go.

You're incredibly selfish.

Appin · 14/08/2023 14:02

Bear in mind that if the class teacher has covid she'll be expected to be there, regardless.

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 14:02

Appin · 14/08/2023 14:02

Bear in mind that if the class teacher has covid she'll be expected to be there, regardless.

No she won't.

Killingmytime · 14/08/2023 14:12

Mariposista · 14/08/2023 12:45

Different case. You were actually very poorly and your toddlers might have been frightened seeing you like that. A sniffle is something else entirely.

Why are being still peddling this crap?
YOU may only have had a ‘sniffle’ others have not!
some if us ended up in hospital, some of us are still suffering with breathing issues months later!
stop posting stupid ignorants comments.

op i hope you feel better soon, it sucks.

Appin · 14/08/2023 14:15

There is no covid guidance in schools. Staff who have covid are advised to work unless they are feeling unwell. Its very possible that teaching and support staff are at work with covid.

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