To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

It's hardly difficult to understand that if it's busy it's probably not the best time to have a small child toddling about while other people are busy doing their weekend shop
Don't go using common sense.
Next you'll be pointing out that most people who take their children shopping manage to do their errands and nobody bats an eyelid.

My general thought is that if as a parent you encounter some rolled eyes or impatience as one offs the person is probably being grumpy and a bit unreasonable, but if you find yourself regularly thinking adults in cafes/shops/hotels are so unreasonable then the common denominator is probably your parenting decisions/child's behaviour.

i am alternately rolf and aghast at the sheer entitlement of this piffle

It is eminently sensible to have times when children are excluded. Not least because while most women would swim round them, maybe tut under their breath and possibly complain amongst themselves. Most men swimming laps would plough through them with nary a backward glance. Believe it or not, adults are allowed to have times when they aren't confronted with other people's offspring. (and i actually quite like children)

😂
So true
It's the children I actually feel sorry for, being dragged up into entitled adults who " don't give a shit"
Lovely

Exactly. 2nd most idiotic comment I have read on MN.

I'm not being disingenuous; somebody literally suggested that children shouldn't be in a supermarket at all until age 12, and even then it was questionable. Despite what some people think, I will not allow my children to just do whatever they want and yes, if it's taking too long I will hurry them up - but I was (and am) arguing against the suggestion that my children, even when being perfectly behaved and simply taking a tiny bit longer (so yes, seconds) because they are children, shouldn't be doing that at all.

1. I would probably have allowed my kids to do this, within reason, and wouldn't have cared about some eye rolls. That's hardly the hotel's fault though.
2. I reckon to get complaints they must have been really quite loud, the hotel very badly sound proofed or the neighbours very light sleepers. If the first, that's on you, the second on the hotel and third on the neighbours.
3. That's life, think you ABU to be annoyed about that.

somebody literally suggested that children shouldn't be in a supermarket at all until age 12, and even then it was questionable
Ok, well that's obvious nonsense, to be fair.

It was more than eyerolls, though. People got up and left due to the commotion the children were causing in the lobby of a nice hotel.

Part of what people pay for is ambiance; if all they wanted was a bed and a toilet they could stay in a cheap hostel. Relaxing in a pleasant hotel lobby is part of the journey, for some people. Or perhaps they were reading the news while their travel companions finished dressing, or waiting for a tour guide to show up, or otherwise having a calm moment. Why should some entitled louts be permitted to disrupt that? Indoor reception areas and hallways aren't for racing about.

Well I guess it depends on if we take OP's post at face value. A couple of kids running about for the couple of minutes it takes to check in? Yeah I couldn't feel bad about someone getting in a mood about that. Hotel lobbies are for people to be in, there is going to be noise and hustle and bustle. I don't like this whole idea that children making any kind of noise is intolerable but perfectly fine for adults to get drunk and loud, or talk loudly on the phone or whatever.

I think the test of if it’s multiple people complaining/huffing it’s probably you is a good one.
Op had only been in hotel about 15 hours and 3 separate people had been disturbed by their behaviour, that’s a big pointer that it’s you/your children out of step with what is appropriate behaviour.
Same with bananas/kids trolley in supermarket. If it’s one person in 6 months huffing then it’s not worth thinking about if it’s every week then either everyone in your town is a child hater or the more likely explanation is you are being oblivious to people around you.

All of the things you mentioned seem completely reasonable to me. The reason why there is adults only times in pools is because that is for length swimming and no squealing. If I was quietly reading two kids excitedly and noisily coming in running about rather than waiting with their parents would make me sigh and 7 is way to early for excited laughter.

I am a parent, we stayed in hotels a lot and managed to never have a complaint because I didn't let them run around inappropriately, and they didn't get up until at least 8am (still don't unless they have to)

This is a good point. We've stayed in hotels loads with the kids, and even eye rolls are huffing have been veyr rare. We've never had an actual complaint.

i had a couple of elderly people walk all the way up a narrow high street infront of me with my pram. They were blocking the whole pavement and walking at a snails pace- totally understand they can't help that but at least have the courtesy to look around and see the 20 people walking behind you and then walk single file.

I couldn't go around them and i said excuse me sorry/please 10 times. lIm always polite and respectful to older people but there is alot of entitlement amongst them too.

Why do people always bring up "drunk adults" when kids' behaviour is challenged?

I haven't seen a drunk or rambunctious adult in a hotel lobby, or on a plane, in 30 years, including Vegas and holiday resorts.

if you have a nervy dog then i probably wouldn't use a hotel at all. you are just as likely to get noisy grown men or women on a night out.

Do grown men and women on a night out spend hours rampaging up and down corridors slamming doors? 🤔

This

I think as others have said 2 of the examples I think that you could of avoided. We tended to break up long journeys with stops in National Trust property's so they could run off steam.

We have stayed in lots of hotels with our children and not had any one complain. We have taken some board type games for the early riser 6 am at his best or gone for short walks.

We have recently stayed in a hotel this weekend and children and our pet dog were welcomed very much by the hotel staff there was a check in area for the kids with crayons for them to use if needed.

I think the test of if it’s multiple people complaining/huffing it’s probably you is a good one.
Op had only been in hotel about 15 hours and 3 separate people had been disturbed by their behaviour, that’s a big pointer that it’s you/your children out of step with what is appropriate behaviour.
Same with bananas/kids trolley in supermarket. If it’s one person in 6 months huffing then it’s not worth thinking about if it’s every week then either everyone in your town is a child hater or the more likely explanation is you are being oblivious to people around you
I totally agree with you.

they've introduced them in some supermarkets in the Netherlands. Sounds great

https://www.grocerydive.com/news/aisles-abroad-dutch-grocer-jumbo-slow-chat-checkouts/645702/

Because the adult is trying to make a connection but the toddler is just faffing about?

MrsChilliHeeler
That's great. One of my late relatives would have appreciated that option as they were living alone and liked to chat.
Some cafes did chat/company coffee mornings too for the same reason.

@HarrietJet ...having worked in reception in a few well known chain hotels i can confirm they indeed do and also do much worse things