Mother making her child's mother tongue a language she herself hardly knows

[AdoraLovesCake]

I have never done an AIBU before.

This morning I went to a cafe in the UK (where I live) with my 5 year old daughter.
A woman in front of me in the long queue turns around and asks my daughter how old she is. DD replies that she is five then goes to look at the cakes.
I then crouch down to the boy holding the woman's hand (he looked age 2 or 3) and I say "Hello little one, how old are you?"
He stares blankly at me and his mother says, "Oh no. He doesn't speak English." And I think "Ok, he doesn't speak at all."
But then his mother says, "He doesn't speak ENGLISH. He speaks Spanish. Even though my partner and I don't speak Spanish very well, and we intend to live in England forever. Our friend said Spanish was easy so we taught our son that. Then when he's older, he can learn English. He'll have a bigger brain by then.
She then was about to order and I saw her type into google translate for her son, "Do you want a cookie?"

Poor boy. Why would you teach your child as their first language a language that you don't know? He's going to turn into a five year old, not understanding anything anyone is saying, having to learn English, a very hard language. Babies will pick up their first language much easier won't they.

YABU: This is normal and a good approach to parenting
YANBU: Agree with OP, this is weird

xxxx Cora

Looool sorry you should probably check how probable your lies are before you say them. This is literally impossible. There are many many immigrant parents who speak to their kids in their home language and still struggle with getting them to speak it. Kids acquire language. They don't learn it like adults. They repeat what they hear. Those parents would have to be silent.

So the whole interaction was in - English?

If the kid is real, he understands English.

What a load of tosh. How in Dora's name do you teach a child to speak solely in a language that you don't even understand yourself? Rubbish!

If this is real, the child's brain would have assimilated the complex syntax of the language being spoken around him, even before he could say his first word.

From my experience there is a mix, with many native speakers but also kids of native speakers who do not speak the language at home at all. It's still a much better opportunity to learn anything than going to a 'normal' nursery in this respect.

You could have at least made it interesting to read.

@Clymene
Years ago at a party in a Francophone country, I witnessed an Anglophone mother conversing with her young child in the crappiest "French" ever. It was total cringe and embarrassing but provided us with a good laugh.

Wtaf

He prob will speak English even if she makes no effort…
DS is 19mo and is speaking English at home with us but also learning french as we live in france, I don’t speak it brilliantly but he’s gotta learn it anyway!!

It’s really difficult to bring a child up speaking to them in a language that is not your native tongue. DD1 was born and lived in a Central European country until she was 3. First language, from nanny and nursery was of that country. I’m pretty fluent in it, and tried to continue, with DH speaking to her in English. Didn’t work. So this just sounds utterly bonkers.

She then was about to order and I saw her type into google translate for her son, "Do you want a cookie?"

Even with my rudimentary Spanish from school (I finished school in 1987 and got a grade D) from the depths of my brain I can manage asking if someone wants a cookie without using google translate.

If they don't speak Spanish they are not go to raise the kid bilingual.

That is for sure.

How horrible

Am I the only one wondering where OP met Hilaria Baldwin?

Que monton de estupideces...or to put it another way....what a load of bollocks

Bonkers

What rubbish. If the parents are speaking English that's what the child would speak.

I wish I had the ability to send my Dcs to a bilingual nursery.

I did study another language at university but actually am far from fluent as I am pretty shit at languages. I do talk to them in that language sometimes (badly) but tends to be some phrases and just to sort of them get used to the sound of it. If I were properly bi-lingual I would have tried really hard to bring them up bilingual. Mind you my 13 year can say 'Oh MY GOD!!!!' in that language and employs it liberally.

[random inconsequential musing]

I can't believe this is true.

Children learn to speak by listening to others speak. If they live in the UK, the parents speak English to each other and he hears English all around him he will speak English. If no one speaks Spanish around him Spanish won't be his native language!
It's nonsense about Spanish being easier to learn too. Maybe for a non native speaker Spanish is easier to learn than English . But to someone brought up in the UK with English speaking parents of course English would be easier to learn . Just as for a child brought up among Spanish speaking people surrounded by others speaking spanish,spanish is easier

This is not remotely how childhood language acquisition works. Try harder OP.

In fairness, if the parents are imaginary, they don’t really speak anything.

I’m calling Bull OP. I have a friend whose children are bilingual but DF was born in Germany and moved to the uk in her mid twenties for work. DF met and married a British man and decided to stay in Britain so their DC speak both English and German fluently. I cannot imagine teaching a child a language that neither parent speaks as their first language though.

Wouldn’t the child pick up English just by playing with other kids, hearing TV and radio?

It's not possible for two people who don't know a language to teach it to a child in a country that doesn't speak it, or for that child not to pick up English in an English speaking family home. That's a no from me.

Righto