Can a 19 year old and 32 year old be friends?

[Isisavisloren]

It's somebody I've met through church. I get on well with her and she seems mature for her age, she wants to grab a coffee one day.
I don't know, I think at our current life stages the gap is too high. If she were 30 and me 43 there would be zero issue.
I just think it seems creepy. Maybe I'm overthinking it. What do others think?

Does she want a friendship as opposed to merely enjoying your company once in a while?

maybe she wants to learn from your greater experience?

In church relationships I think that’s very normal. Like in a family. Think of her like an older cousin?

Sorry, you’re the older one. Think of her as a younger cousin or sister.

It's different with a romantic partner because they have a lot more potential to mistreat their partner, of course this could happen in a close friendship but in general a friendship is a lot more equal.

Nothing wrong with it at all.

One of my best friends is 14 years older than me. We first got to know each other at work when I was 20, and over 40 years later we are still pals. She lives the other side of the country now, but we keep in touch on facebook.

Yes, they can. I became friends with someone 20 years older than me when I was 20. We are still friends 25 years later. We lived together at one stage (rather, I lodged with her) same interests, hobby, humour etc

I think it’s fine. I’m nearly 34 and am good friends with someone who is 21 that I met at uni. We’ve been friends for a couple years as we’re so similar we’ve done loads of things together!

One of my best friends is 21 years younger than me. We like each others company

If you feel uneasy that’s fine to decline but I’d think especially with you both being part of a church it could be a bit of a mentor/ big sister type friendship . I’m grateful for my older “cousin” (family friend) and her group of mates who let me tag around with them when I was 17 and they were in their early to late 20s.

And it’s completely different from if you were dating a 19 year old of course.

I agree with the previous poster that we need more not less inter-generational friendships.

This old chestnut again. There have been multiple threads on similar topics these past couple of days.

To answer your question: it's definitely illegal. :)

Being friends with your children’s friend of any age is an entirely different topic though and I assume you’re older than the OP, if your son is 19. It goes without saying you wouldn’t advise anyone to be friends with their children’s friend and it’s not necessarily just because of the age gap.

Although I am very friendly with some of my friends parents and will chat to them on instagram etc sometimes, they look upon me fondly as a good friend of their child/family not as their personal friend.

I'm 33 and hang out with the women from work in their early 20s and also the ones in their late 50s! You can find common ground with anyone really. I tend to have different types of nights out with each age group though, wild nights on the town with the young'uns and nice meals and 80s nights with the older lot. I love being in the 'middle'!

I was a first time mum at 19. If I hadn’t have been able to make friends with older women I’d have been in a right sorry state. People my age were out raving. 20years on a lot of the older women I met at baby classes are still my best friends .

The age is irrelevant. Men and women can be friends IMO.

This is just coffee...you're not getting engaged 😂

There's nothing wrong with it! She might enjoy having an older friend. Then again she might not be so hung up on the age gap 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have two close friends that I used to work with, that are 20 years younger than me. It's a nice thing.

I understand how you feel. I am studying full time and feel quite isolated socially on the course as most of the others are early 20s. I'll quite happily have a cuppa and a chat, lunch or group drinks though, just wouldn't quite know how to relate tp them as very close friends or if I'd want to.

How would you feel about maybe trying this middle ground? Coffee after church or when you have somewhere to go after so it's time limited. It could be more of a community friendship than best mates who go on holiday and share everything?

I could be wrong, apologies if so, but get the impression she herself might be clingy. If so, perhaps best to be busy outside of church and related events.

I wrote on the other thread, but I made a friend through work who was 35 when I was 18. We are still friends 26 years later. No need to be friends if you don't want to, but don't let the "weirdness" of the age gap stop you if you're otherwise up for it.

I started a new job in 2008 and worked with a 19 year old. I was 33. We got on brilliantly! She was always very mature. We just clicked and became close friends. I'm now 48 and she's 34 and we're still best mates. Going on holiday together soon!

I'm 42 and one of my best friends is 31 I know you said that wouldn't be a problem but I think it doesn't matter

I did a Masters and made friends of all ages - early twenties up to mid-thirties, and I’m nearly 50.

I don’t see the issue. We all have things to offer and things to learn from people of all ages and backgrounds.

I have female friends from 15-70 via my hobby, I’m 45.
I ride, and through horses I ride/compete with all sorts of ages and can end up
spending a lot of time with them.

I don’t start taking 15 year olds to the pub, but I’m female, straight- so have zero concerns about seeing them in context. I would think twice about hanging out alone with a teenage boy, but otherwise I think it is fine.

Honest to god not this again

I think context is important.
When I joined the army at 17 I worked closely with women who were 30+, got on enough to consider them friends and went out for a beer in groups once I was 18. It didn't feel weird in that context.
I am now nearing 30 myself and can't really imagine being friends with someone of that age purely on the basis of being in very different life stages (I have two children).

Oh no not another one 🤣