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Original poster

pedantry: I'm ADHD vs I have ADHD

119 replies

quibling · 10/08/2023 19:52

I am hearing people say "I'm ADHD" when I'd rather they said "I have ADHD"
I totally get the argument against saying "he has autism" because it's not a disease, and its a fundamental part of the person. I get that its better to say 'he is autistic' instead.
But given ADHD starts for "Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder" it doesn't make sense to say "I am disorder" also, unlike autism, you can develop ADHD in later life, so its a different kind of thing.
AIBU to think this is wrong?

OP posts:
imautisticandalsoabitch · 10/08/2023 22:15

Actually going over this in my mind, you could say 'I'm a brunette' or 'I'm brunette', same as you could say 'I'm a blonde' or 'Im blonde'. Saying 'I'm ADHD' doesn't sound that strange to me really. Either way is fine.

MakeMineADouble81 · 10/08/2023 22:18

imautisticandalsoabitch · 10/08/2023 22:15

Actually going over this in my mind, you could say 'I'm a brunette' or 'I'm brunette', same as you could say 'I'm a blonde' or 'Im blonde'. Saying 'I'm ADHD' doesn't sound that strange to me really. Either way is fine.

You would never say I'm Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder though so I still don't think it's right.

Begsthequestion · 10/08/2023 22:20

quibling · 10/08/2023 19:52

I am hearing people say "I'm ADHD" when I'd rather they said "I have ADHD"
I totally get the argument against saying "he has autism" because it's not a disease, and its a fundamental part of the person. I get that its better to say 'he is autistic' instead.
But given ADHD starts for "Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder" it doesn't make sense to say "I am disorder" also, unlike autism, you can develop ADHD in later life, so its a different kind of thing.
AIBU to think this is wrong?

It's none of your business what other people say to describe their own condition, so yabu

You can't develop ADHD later in life. It's how your brain is formed.

Psychonabike · 10/08/2023 22:23

Well, I also don't like I'm OCD but for entirely different reasons. Not the grammar. Really because they are usually describing perfectionism or an attention to detail rather than OCD.

True OCD is a debilitating condition and a lot of the casual "I'm OCD" minimises this.

Interestingly OCD is a neuropsychiatric condition, also under the umbrella of neurodivergence. Not uncommon to have a triad of ADHD + OCD + Tourettes.

Maybe the folk with true OCD who want to use identity first language will have to try to reclaim "I'm OCD" from those who use it incorrectly.

These conditions all have a place under the neurodivergent umbrella with:

I'm dyspraxic
I'm dyslexic
I'm autistic

Etc etc.

The language around all of it is evolving. As well as awareness that there are a lot more people being forced to fit in with neurotypical ways of life than we previously thought.

Changington · 10/08/2023 22:25

They need an adjective for ADHD, they have one for every other condition.
"I'm bipolar", which of course is "bipolar disorder", but we've made an adjective for ease of use. What should we HAVE? 🤔

How do you feel about term "I'm AuDHD"? "I'm Autistic/ADHD"?

For me personally, I prefer the sentiment "I am ADHD" (though I hate the grammar). It's part of who I am, it's affected the way my brain has developed and much of my personality has been shaped by the slightly different way my brain processes... Saying "I have" makes it feel a bit like an infection, something which can be removed.

Ontheperiphery79 · 10/08/2023 22:25

I've got (combined) ADHD and I'm Autistic. Online - say, Facebook - I might occasionally refer to myself as Neurodivergent; I also say "I'm AuDHD" for expediency.

I honestly don't give a flying fuck how other people choose to speak about themselves, nor does it really bother me how NTs phrase things.

I'm somewhat surprised that anyone thinks that ADHD can 'develop' in adulthood, but it just highlights how widespread ignorance around it still is.

PhantomUnicorn · 10/08/2023 22:29

FUPAgirl · 10/08/2023 19:59

I really don't like posters on here talking about their DC like this, ' he is ASD/SEN/ADHD'. No he isn't, he is a wonderful human WITH that condition. He is not the condition. I know people disagree and say their DC ARE autistic etc but it really bothers me. My DD HAS autism, it doesn't define her, she is more than that. But then I always say people with disabilities, someone with diabetes etc rather than she is diabetic, she is disabled etc because I think its really important to put the person first. But I know lots of people disagree!

the reason a lot of autistics adhd'ers make the distinction is because you don't develop it, you dont catch it, its not something that just happens.

Its a genetic, developmental disorder that is at the very core of how our brain and nervous system work and happens from the moment our brain/central nervous system start to develop in the womb.

SO yes.. i am autistic rather than have autism. grammatically there is no way to say the same way to say ADHD, but really Attention deficit is a wildly inaccurate way to refer to the neurological difference.

I generally tend to tell people i'm autistic/adhd and tack the two together.

imautisticandalsoabitch · 10/08/2023 22:31

@MakeMineADouble81 well no, that's abit of a mouthful which is why an abbreviation works with either way of saying it I think.

Original poster
quibling · 10/08/2023 22:32

@Ontheperiphery79 I got the idea that there's a variant that can be developed by Gabor Mate's book Scattered Minds, but really can't remember the details and i might have mis remembered. ftr

OP posts:
Nn9011 · 10/08/2023 22:33

YABU - you don't get to decide how anyone else describes their neurodivergence and ADHD is ABSOLUTELY NOT something that develops later in life. Autism and ADHD are neurotypes you are born with which are different from the neurotypical brain.
ADHD is a very complicated disability and can have very difficult impacts on people, especially those diagnosed later in life.
You don't get to dictate how people refer to themselves just like not all people with autism have the same preference or not all people with Dyslexia have the same preference.

MottledPie · 10/08/2023 22:35

Changington · 10/08/2023 22:25

They need an adjective for ADHD, they have one for every other condition.
"I'm bipolar", which of course is "bipolar disorder", but we've made an adjective for ease of use. What should we HAVE? 🤔

How do you feel about term "I'm AuDHD"? "I'm Autistic/ADHD"?

For me personally, I prefer the sentiment "I am ADHD" (though I hate the grammar). It's part of who I am, it's affected the way my brain has developed and much of my personality has been shaped by the slightly different way my brain processes... Saying "I have" makes it feel a bit like an infection, something which can be removed.

I am hyperactive and attention deficient?

Of course that's clunky as well but more sensible.

I don't see what's wrong with saying I have ADHD. It's like saying I have myopia or I have dyslexia. I have a condition that means that my brain does not work as well as it should. And yes, it affects every single thing. It fucks up every single thing. At least can we let it not affect grammar? Can we have at least that?

Meerkatdog · 10/08/2023 22:36

It's the new 'I'm a bit OCD'

MottledPie · 10/08/2023 22:37

MottledPie · 10/08/2023 22:35

I am hyperactive and attention deficient?

Of course that's clunky as well but more sensible.

I don't see what's wrong with saying I have ADHD. It's like saying I have myopia or I have dyslexia. I have a condition that means that my brain does not work as well as it should. And yes, it affects every single thing. It fucks up every single thing. At least can we let it not affect grammar? Can we have at least that?

Show quote history

And yes, I know I'm being unreasonable. People can speak however they want and I can dislike whatever I want.

Psychonabike · 10/08/2023 22:38

@quibling

Gabor Mate's views on ADHD don't really stand up well to scrutiny.

The whole idea that it can be caused by trauma is problematic.

It's actually the most heritable conditions in psychiatry and in the top 3 heritable conditions in medicine. This is evidence of a biological, organic condition. Not an induced one.

Imagine being a parent and hearing that you "caused" your child's ADHD.

It is common, 1:20, and runs in families, probably because of some of the advantages associated with it, from an evolutionary point of view.

BogRollBOGOF · 10/08/2023 22:39

The clunky bit of ADHD is that there isn't a succinct adjective, and there is only the noun. With autism you can use the adjective "autistic" or the noun of the condition "autism/ ASD"

Verbally I tend to say that DS is autistic. (He's also funny, clever, sensitive and grumpy alongside many other characteristics). In text I may add that he has ASD as it's more succint to type out.

I wouldn't describe that he "is ASD" as that doesn't make grammatical sense.

I describe my other child as asthmatic or has asthma. "He is asthma" also makes little sense.

MottledPie · 10/08/2023 22:42

Psychonabike · 10/08/2023 22:38

@quibling

Gabor Mate's views on ADHD don't really stand up well to scrutiny.

The whole idea that it can be caused by trauma is problematic.

It's actually the most heritable conditions in psychiatry and in the top 3 heritable conditions in medicine. This is evidence of a biological, organic condition. Not an induced one.

Imagine being a parent and hearing that you "caused" your child's ADHD.

It is common, 1:20, and runs in families, probably because of some of the advantages associated with it, from an evolutionary point of view.

I'm not up to date with the latest research on ADHD but when I was (about 5-10 years ago) I got the impression that the belief that it ever had an evolutionary advantage was debunked as well.

If I was a hunter I'd probably be dead in two seconds because I would have forgotten my spear at home or just didn't clock the mammoth breathing down my neck.

imautisticandalsoabitch · 10/08/2023 22:45

This could go on forever😂 Please someone suggest a suitable succinct adjective so we can stop thinking about it 😂 Or can we not just say that the letters ADHD are the new adjective instead? The irony of all us neurodivergents trying to make this work either way....I don't think we can agree and that's alright as well.

Musicalmistress · 10/08/2023 22:53

cruffinsmuffin · 10/08/2023 19:57

Do you have ADHD?

You can decide how you want people to refer to you, if you have ADHD.

You can't decide how everyone else refers to themselves.

This!

Psychonabike · 10/08/2023 22:59

@MottledPie

It's one of those arguments that has swung back and forth but as far as I understand, on balance, the evidence of positive selective inheritance favours the idea that it's a cognitive style with advantages.

The improved understanding of the ADHD chronotype seems to have given more weight to this.

Possibly not that important* anyway. There is other, much more compelling evidence for the genetic nature of ADHD. And that's the main issue with people who suggest it's caused by trauma or a style of parenting or screens.

*unless you are an evolutionary biologist studying it!

MottledPie · 10/08/2023 23:13

Psychonabike · 10/08/2023 22:59

@MottledPie

It's one of those arguments that has swung back and forth but as far as I understand, on balance, the evidence of positive selective inheritance favours the idea that it's a cognitive style with advantages.

The improved understanding of the ADHD chronotype seems to have given more weight to this.

Possibly not that important* anyway. There is other, much more compelling evidence for the genetic nature of ADHD. And that's the main issue with people who suggest it's caused by trauma or a style of parenting or screens.

*unless you are an evolutionary biologist studying it!

I don't doubt that it's genetic but as far as I know not everything that is genetically inherited needs to have conferred an evolutionary advantage at some point.

I don't know if it's important but it is interesting. And I have to admit that at the moment I might be biased because I'm messing up every aspect of my life. It's very difficult to see how ADHD could be beneficial in any way.

Pirsty · 10/08/2023 23:14

I’m also a pedant and it annoys me when people say “I have mental health” or “he has mental health” - what they mean is mental health problems but it sounds like they think mental health is a diagnosis itself. It affects me in no way at all, I’m just petty 😅

MottledPie · 10/08/2023 23:16

Psychonabike · 10/08/2023 22:59

@MottledPie

It's one of those arguments that has swung back and forth but as far as I understand, on balance, the evidence of positive selective inheritance favours the idea that it's a cognitive style with advantages.

The improved understanding of the ADHD chronotype seems to have given more weight to this.

Possibly not that important* anyway. There is other, much more compelling evidence for the genetic nature of ADHD. And that's the main issue with people who suggest it's caused by trauma or a style of parenting or screens.

*unless you are an evolutionary biologist studying it!

Also, what is an ADHD chronotype? Does chrono refer to time or circadian rhythm? Is it related to that? Or did you mean phenotype?

lifeturnsonadime · 10/08/2023 23:17

quibling · 10/08/2023 19:52

I am hearing people say "I'm ADHD" when I'd rather they said "I have ADHD"
I totally get the argument against saying "he has autism" because it's not a disease, and its a fundamental part of the person. I get that its better to say 'he is autistic' instead.
But given ADHD starts for "Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder" it doesn't make sense to say "I am disorder" also, unlike autism, you can develop ADHD in later life, so its a different kind of thing.
AIBU to think this is wrong?

Totally agree, see it so often in parents saying my child is ADHD or my child is ASD. No they are not, they are not a disorder they are a child that has a disorder.

Drives me mad but maybe that's because I'm autistic and grammatical errors drive me insane.

MottledPie · 10/08/2023 23:17

Pirsty · 10/08/2023 23:14

I’m also a pedant and it annoys me when people say “I have mental health” or “he has mental health” - what they mean is mental health problems but it sounds like they think mental health is a diagnosis itself. It affects me in no way at all, I’m just petty 😅

I've never heard that but it would annoy the hell out of me though especially if they didn't mean that they had good mental health.