To not feel the fear and do it anyway

[Croissantsetchampignons]

Feeling a bit pathetic! Am in France at the moment in the Alps and partner, kids & friends going up Europes highest cable car tomorrow. 12,000 ft - massive drops. I just can’t bring myself to do it- I HATE heights and cable cars so it’s a double fear whammy. Am going to go up on a mountain train instead but feeling a bit disappointed in myself- I have been up in it before and it was scary & the altitude was also debilitating.

Aibu for being a bit of a wuss and staying in my comfort zone? I really have thought about it a lot but feel like I am setting a bad example to my kids of not pushing myself!

Nope! I bet there’s plenty of stuff you do that others wouldn’t.

What is the actual benefit if you going up terrified, especially when you’ve done it before anyway?

Train all the way

No, why scare yourself, I’d hate it to and wouldn’t go up and wouldn’t be bothered saying so, i’m quite adventurous with other things

Nope, you’re a grown adult and have the right not to scare the shit out of yourself while you’re meant to be having a relaxing holiday. I wouldn’t get on the cable car of death either!

No. You don’t like either aspect of doing the journey via cable car and there’s another option for getting to the top. There’s no point making yourself miserable just to prove that you can do it. (Slightly different if there was no train option and you really wanted to ski that slope/visit the top… but luckily that’s not the situation.)

I actually think you’re setting a good example by prioritising your comfort over peer pressure to your children. Enjoy your lovely train ride!

@AhNow123 ‘cable car of death’ 😂 Yes, that’s how it feels! It’s this Aiguille du Midi in Chamonix and it’s got insane drops of 1000’s of feet below 😱

I don't agree with this facing your fear rubbish. I'm terrified of heights so my friends talked me in to doing Go Ape with them, I completed the course, then did it 3 more times over the course of a year!! And I was just as terrified the fourth time as I was the first, and am still terrified of heights.

So just spent 4 days of my life feeling sick,crying, paralysed with fear and nearly weeing myself for no reason.

What's wrong with being comfortable that's what I say!

Or you’re setting a good example by demonstrating they don’t have to do the same as everyone else and can be confident in their own actions. You could sound it out proudly by saying you think the train would be xyz, anyone is welcome to join you

I was going to say yes, but you've already done it!!!

I hate the bloody things too, I've been on loads, and you know what, there is no way I'm doing it again. The ones that hug the side of the mountain- not so bad, but the flipping Aguille De Midi where you're on a cable above the town- just NO!!!! I don't care.

Omg!!! Literally cross-posted!!!!

Courage is not the absence of fear. It's facing your fears. Only way to overcome them. Don't be wimpy mum who can't do the cable car, be brave mum who gave it a go. Good opportunity to demonstrate bravery to your DCa and for them to practise kindness and encouragement.

Not at all. Why would you spend money on doing something you’ll actively dislike? You’re on holiday. It’s meant to be fun, not a feat of endurance.

I climb mountains and I would not do that cable car!! You've done it once, you don't need to put yourself through that again. It's good to teach your children that it's ok to know your boundaries and stick to them. Why should you be utterly miserable when there's another way. YANBU, do it your way OP, you're not a wuss!

Also petrified of heights. Instead of modelling to your children you being absolutely shit scared of heights "brave" by doing something you really don't want to do, model listening to your gut and being just as brave by being strong enough to go against the grain, because it doesn't feel right to you.

Imo it's a great life skill for your dc to learn the art of thanks but no thanks!!

Courage is also having the confidence to say no.

the OP has given it a go before.

If you go on the cable car and freak out, you may make your dc scared of cable cars in future. You'll be doing them a favour by taking the other option.

Life is hard enough as it is, why pay to make it harder! Do something you enjoy instead.

Oh, do give over. What a load of tedious competitive psycho babble. Not everything in life has to be a fucking challenge or a show of bravado. She’s on a family holiday. It’s not a corporate team building exercise.

My dad’s terrified of heights. You wouldn’t have got him on to a cable car in a million years when I was a kid. None of us thought he was ‘wimpy daddy’ when we were kids, because we weren’t brought up to be horrible little cunts. He was our hero whether he liked heights or not - he was and is an absolute lion of a dad and a fear of heights isn’t a sign of weakness ffs. Similarly, we didn’t expect my mum to ‘confront’ her claustrophobia by visiting caves with us, because bullying a family member into being terrified wasn’t really our idea of a fun day out.

Also, confronting that kind of fear head-on is actually unlikely to cure it. If anything it might well make it worse. There’s a reason why treatment for phobias involves very gradual exposure to their fear, rather than just forcing them to do the worst thing they can imagine on day one.

I went on the Aigulle Du Midi last year and was petrified. Closed my eyes most of the way which defeated the object! I was very glad to be back on the ground but it was spectacular. The train was much better but still a bit hairy in places. No point in doing something to please others.

I hate heights and wouldn't go up a mountain by cable car, train or jetpack. Fuck that. Leave it to people who like heights. It's meant to be a holiday not a stressful situation for no real gain. My kids went up the shard with my DH. I stayed on the ground. It's totally fine. He who you are.

Oh god, THAT cable car. I’m only mildly twitchy about heights - have been up the Shard, Empire State Building, massive roller coasters etc without a problem. But I’ve been on that cable car and I loathed it. I got proper head-spinning vertigo and came out in a cold sweat that literally dripped off my nose.

Having googled it, I would say...yeah, screw that.

Yes, THAT one! I went up it 25 years ago and have never forgotten the middle bit when you drop accross the valley with about 3000 ft below. Also, the Altitude 😬Going up the Mer de glace instead I think 😀

This gives a good view.

@Summerslimtime yea, earlier today there were clouds below the tiny cable car- it’s that which convinced me it was a no 😂