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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my ex employers can’t do this?

187 replies

Wowsharona · 09/08/2023 17:00

I recently accepted a settlement to leave my job after discriminatory comments were made to me on two occasions after announcing my pregnancy.

it was a good offer so didn’t want to go into a long drawn out tribunal process whilst pregnant.

I left last week, today I received a message from an ex colleague asking if my mother was ok. I was confused as my mother died years ago in my early teens.

turns out after I had been paid off and left (was an abrupt leaving due to the situation) 2 days after I had officially gone an email was sent from my work email address saying goodbye to everyone and telling them I was leaving to take care of my sick and elderly mother!

it ended with ‘I’m sorry this is abrupt but for my own mental health I am requesting no one reach out via linked in as I’d like to put all my energy into my family’

I’m absolutely fuming, AIBU to think although yes my email address is technically their property they can’t pretend to be me and email everyone?

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 09/08/2023 17:02

I'd be absolutely furious - no of course they can't pretend to be you and disseminate lies about your personal life. I would ask ex-colleague to forward the email to you, and then in turn forward to their HR asking who authorised this and why (whilst making sure ex-colleague's details are removed from the email - take a screen shot of the text of it or something).

Lookingatthesunset · 09/08/2023 17:03

If you still have access, send your own email.

It's disgusting they have done this, but I'm not sure there's much you can do about it? Does it contravene the terms of the settlement in any way?

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 09/08/2023 17:03

I have no idea of what the law would say but morally that's awful. Truly awful. I'm actually angry about it on your behalf.

jeaux90 · 09/08/2023 17:06

I think this come under the false representation law in the UK. I'd gather evidence and speak to my solicitor. There's no fraud of course but I'm not sure whether they are allowed to pretend you have mental health issues or lie about your family.

VimtoPassion · 09/08/2023 17:09

Why would anyone do that? Surely it's just an email from the boss saying Wow has left with immediate effect. No need for any explanation.

Danikm151 · 09/08/2023 17:09

I’d be so pissed off!

they probably didn’t think it would get back to you so they should face the music

Cowlover89 · 09/08/2023 17:10

Wtaf that's shocking x

FishNetz · 09/08/2023 17:11

Have you agreed not to share information in exchange for settlement? if not I’d email or text the colleagues you know stating that very strangely someone has sent an email from your old work account, you didn’t write it and what it claims is fictional, your mother passed away x and the reason you left abruptly was due to discriminatory comments around your pregnancy. You’d like to keep in touch with everyone.

It’s awful they have lied and lumped fictional mental health and parental death into the equation. I wonder if there is some work legislation to deal with these lies?

User6424678852 · 09/08/2023 17:13

I thought this was going to be “they won’t let me back in the premises/I had to give my laptop back / I’m not allowed to talk about the terms of the compromise agreement” but I was left genuinely open-mouthed in shock at what they have done. I’ve never heard anything like it.

Go back to the solicitor who handled your exit agreement and ask their advice. This is very wrong, and as it is relayed to your exit I should expect your solicitor will be able to deal with it and reclaim their fee from your ex-employer (but do check).

FishNetz · 09/08/2023 17:15

maybe The colleague could take a photo of the email on their personal phone and text it to you to avoid leaving an email trail which could result in her being identified.

towriteyoumustlive · 09/08/2023 17:16

One way to handle it would be to put a message on LinkedIn that someone has sent an email round pretending to be you, and that you certainly didn't leave to look after your sick mother as she died many years ago, and unlike the email that said not to contact you, you look forward to keeping in touch with all the lovely people you worked with.

The message can always be deleted at a later date if needs be...

Katrinawaves · 09/08/2023 17:17

It’s possible to bring a privacy claim in respect of false information as well as true information and mental health and caring responsibilities are both prime examples of private information so this is certainly actionable.

As a previous poster has said, please ask your solicitor for some help in making a further claim.

Strugglingtofindclothes · 09/08/2023 17:17

Get a copy of the email and contact ACAS. Payout or not this needs to go further

LlynTegid · 09/08/2023 17:17

Seek legal advice.

In addition to the reasons mentioned, data protection and information governance rules may have been broken.

Original poster
Wowsharona · 09/08/2023 17:17

FishNetz · 09/08/2023 17:11

Have you agreed not to share information in exchange for settlement? if not I’d email or text the colleagues you know stating that very strangely someone has sent an email from your old work account, you didn’t write it and what it claims is fictional, your mother passed away x and the reason you left abruptly was due to discriminatory comments around your pregnancy. You’d like to keep in touch with everyone.

It’s awful they have lied and lumped fictional mental health and parental death into the equation. I wonder if there is some work legislation to deal with these lies?

Yes unfortunately it’s a very lengthy NDA/settlement agreement so I’m not sure whether I can comment or even reply to my ex colleague

OP posts:
Original poster
Wowsharona · 09/08/2023 17:19

Danikm151 · 09/08/2023 17:09

I’d be so pissed off!

they probably didn’t think it would get back to you so they should face the music

This is definitely it, I hadn’t been there long and due to my role I think they were under the impression I hadn’t made that many connections with other staff members. But they were very wrong.

OP posts:
Lookingatthesunset · 09/08/2023 17:21

Wowsharona · 09/08/2023 17:19

This is definitely it, I hadn’t been there long and due to my role I think they were under the impression I hadn’t made that many connections with other staff members. But they were very wrong.

Show quote history

Have they broken their side of the agreement?

AnSolas · 09/08/2023 17:21

Wowsharona · 09/08/2023 17:00

I recently accepted a settlement to leave my job after discriminatory comments were made to me on two occasions after announcing my pregnancy.

it was a good offer so didn’t want to go into a long drawn out tribunal process whilst pregnant.

I left last week, today I received a message from an ex colleague asking if my mother was ok. I was confused as my mother died years ago in my early teens.

turns out after I had been paid off and left (was an abrupt leaving due to the situation) 2 days after I had officially gone an email was sent from my work email address saying goodbye to everyone and telling them I was leaving to take care of my sick and elderly mother!

it ended with ‘I’m sorry this is abrupt but for my own mental health I am requesting no one reach out via linked in as I’d like to put all my energy into my family’

I’m absolutely fuming, AIBU to think although yes my email address is technically their property they can’t pretend to be me and email everyone?

No your employer can not send an email while pretending it is from you.
It is their property but is also your personal data in so far as it ID's you not the company.

They 100% can not claim your mother was ill or disclose false sensitive medical data.

You could do a data subject request ( via the solicitor who helped previous if you want) for the day it was sent.

Inertia · 09/08/2023 17:22

I would go back to your solicitor in the first instance- there may be a way to request this through official channels rather than risking outing your colleagues.

It’s appalling conduct on their part.

EpidermalLayer · 09/08/2023 17:23

I'm actually sitting here open-mouthed.
Not only is this ridiculous, it's completely unnecessary!
They didn't even need to tell people that you'd left.

FoodFann · 09/08/2023 17:23

Don’t reply to anyone, but you can absolutely seek damages. I would take this to a law firm asap. Print screen everything now, before it all gets deleted. Your previous company are beyond immoral, they are operating illegally, and will probably get shut down soon, as you will not be the only one this is happening to.

Best of luck OP, I know this must be very distressing 💐 keep your chin up and focus on your gorgeous bump!

Original poster
Wowsharona · 09/08/2023 17:24

Lookingatthesunset · 09/08/2023 17:21

Have they broken their side of the agreement?

Show quote history

It doesn’t mention anything in there about pretending to be me so not sure if they have.

OP posts:
Newusernametostayanon · 09/08/2023 17:25

I am a lawyer and have dealt with many settlements. Assuming all you want is a correction (not £ which I doubt you would get anyway), I would just email them and say you’re aware of this (ideally attach a photo that does not identify who took it) and you need it corrected in an all company email copying you. Send that to whoever on their side dealt with the settlement and cc the lawyer that acted for you. Good luck!

Newusernametostayanon · 09/08/2023 17:26

Probably she can’t seek damages as she hasn’t suffered any monetary loss

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