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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nurses would you think this was rude?

93 replies

TheFoodEaten · 09/08/2023 16:51

DD aged 9 had surgery a few weeks ago (before summer holidays started).

When she was awake and back on the ward afterwards, she was offered a sandwich or toast to eat. She refused all options.

She has SN so food can be odd for her (this was discreetly written on all her notes including on discharge) so I asked if I could pop to the little shop they had down in Reception or the bakery.

Came back with a sausage roll and a biscuit from the bakers which DD happily ate. We were discharged the next day, after I’d been to the shop again and grabbed some cereal as DD refused the hospital breakfast.

ExH has no had his first contact since the op and is saying I was incredibly rude to turn down the food offered and I should have just made DD eat what was offered given that she does actually like toast and sandwiches and most cereal.

The nurses did not seem in the least bit annoyed by it, for the cereal I didn’t buy milk so they told me to grab some from the parent room fridge.

I’m certain the refusal was purely due to it being a strange place and her feeling a bit sore, she just wanted to control what she was eating in the moment. She’s been fine since we got home and eaten normally.

So nurses was it rude of me to get food? And would you be judging me for it?

This will come up again so asking for in future as DD is likely to need more surgery.

OP posts:
Robotik · 09/08/2023 19:27

I work in paediatric nursing

i wouldn’t eat hospital food either 😆

MsFannySqueers · 09/08/2023 19:27

I agree with PP’s OP nobody could possibly be offended by your actions. I am reminded of an Italian friend who told me that no food is provided for patients in Italian hospitals. This was years ago so not sure about nowadays. I asked about patients who may have nobody to bring in any food for them. My friend replied that in Italy no one has ‘nobody’. I thought that was lovely.

WeWereInParis · 09/08/2023 19:32

I would guess that plenty of patients eat different food to what's on offer by the hospital, especially the children.

I'm not a nurse but I'd be surprised if they gave it a second thought. And tbh if they did, I think they'd be the weird one there.

Winnipeggy · 09/08/2023 19:49

How does he even know this happened? Very strange thing to make an issue out of

Busubaba · 09/08/2023 19:53

Of course it's not rude.

Being hospital is stressful and it's important to eat and if the hospital food wasn't appealing then she had to have something, so you did the right thing.

Eloweeese · 09/08/2023 19:54

When I had my first baby I was in a ward with four other women. One morning my dad brought us all in bacon rolls that my mum had made us for breakfast as we were all craving bacon. The nurses thought it was sweet of him.

nocoolnamesleft · 09/08/2023 20:04

Why on earth would this be an issue? Your ex is an idiot.

Robinhood47 · 09/08/2023 20:23

TheFoodEaten · 09/08/2023 16:51

DD aged 9 had surgery a few weeks ago (before summer holidays started).

When she was awake and back on the ward afterwards, she was offered a sandwich or toast to eat. She refused all options.

She has SN so food can be odd for her (this was discreetly written on all her notes including on discharge) so I asked if I could pop to the little shop they had down in Reception or the bakery.

Came back with a sausage roll and a biscuit from the bakers which DD happily ate. We were discharged the next day, after I’d been to the shop again and grabbed some cereal as DD refused the hospital breakfast.

ExH has no had his first contact since the op and is saying I was incredibly rude to turn down the food offered and I should have just made DD eat what was offered given that she does actually like toast and sandwiches and most cereal.

The nurses did not seem in the least bit annoyed by it, for the cereal I didn’t buy milk so they told me to grab some from the parent room fridge.

I’m certain the refusal was purely due to it being a strange place and her feeling a bit sore, she just wanted to control what she was eating in the moment. She’s been fine since we got home and eaten normally.

So nurses was it rude of me to get food? And would you be judging me for it?

This will come up again so asking for in future as DD is likely to need more surgery.

Thats why he is your ex.
Well done. Well rid.

Takacupokindnessyet · 09/08/2023 20:30

Not a nurse but been in the same position in hospital and would do exactly the same as you. Nurses generally just want to check the child has had something to eat and drink, it doesn't matter to them if it is the hospital offering or not.

SalmonEile · 09/08/2023 20:36

how did this even come up in conversation?

Toddlerteaplease · 09/08/2023 21:54

Eloweeese · 09/08/2023 19:54

When I had my first baby I was in a ward with four other women. One morning my dad brought us all in bacon rolls that my mum had made us for breakfast as we were all craving bacon. The nurses thought it was sweet of him.

That Is adorable!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/08/2023 22:10

I can’t imagine the nurse was bothered for a minute - it’s not like you asked her to do anything different or additional as a result.

Your exh sounds controlling and horrible. Why force a sick child to eat things they don’t want?

forgivingfiggy · 09/08/2023 22:14

No, not offended at all. As long as a patient is eating something then we tend to be happy.

blarm · 09/08/2023 22:40

Im a doctor but I can assure you no one would care. I didn't like the food when I was in hospital and my family brought up sandwiches, takeaway etc

ElizabethBest · 09/08/2023 22:43

Lord no, hospital food is rank! None of us who work there would eat it!

PartingGift · 09/08/2023 22:48

I'm a nurse and wouldn't eat hospital food myself.

Wouldn't see what you did as rude whatsoever.

Crispyturtle · 09/08/2023 22:52

I’m honestly laughing at the idea of a nurse having the time or energy to give two hoots what a kid is eating, as long as they are eating. The nurses didn’t lovingly prepare the meal by hand, it was wheeled up from the hospital canteen. Good one exH 🤣🤣

TregunaMekoides · 09/08/2023 22:57

I never eat hospital food as I'm diabetic and it is usually pure carbs. I've never thought anything of it. Surely better to get my own food than accept hospital food which is then wasted as I won't eat it!

Your ex sounds like a right plonker and is just spoiling for a fight. Tell him to bore off.

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