Am I paying too much to live at my partners house?

[RJCHelp]

At the beginning of the year I moved into my partners house and I offered that I would pay £600 per month (not including food, I contribute separately to this). I came to this number as this was the amount I used to pay for my mortgage + service charge at my flat.

I have since found out that his bills (utilities only) total £800 per month but in recent months, he has been reducing these e.g cancelling sky and moving onto a cheaper energy tarriff (his electric car sucks most of the energy!) so essentially, I am paying for more than 50% of the bills here and he always said prior to me moving in that he didn’t need any help with the mortgage… HOWEVER I am better off than when I was living at my flat (£725 pre inflation) 🙁.

Do you think my contribution is too much? I am essentially paying £200 towards his mortgage here…

Please help x

Op I'd approach it as "as you've managed to get us a cheaper energy deal and you've cancelled X and Y, I'd like to review what I'm paying you towards living here"
If he's unwilling to declare actual costs or expects you to pay more than half when he earns more, I'd be looking at howl omg until your tenant moves out...

I would be asking for sky to go back on (unless you don't watch stuff on it and it's been replaced with say virgin media)

That's just cheeky to remove that without a discussion.

You also own a property and are getting income from it, which you are able to do because you've moved in with your partner. So in a way you are also profiting from living in his house, in the same way that he may be profiting from you moving in.

She's not against paying towards his costs? He said he needs no help with the mortgage and she's paying £600 when his costs are £800

There was a similar thread last week. The OP owned her property outright and her DP was moving in. The consensus was that he should pay her rent on her mortgage-free house as it was unacceptable for him to benefit in any way from living with her.

That is utterly ridiculous. Pay him half of the mortgage and half of the bills.

I would subtly bring it up saying you're struggling a bit with money at the moment and can we review our finances. Once it's clear you're paying more than half, ask if you can reduce it so its more even?

@x2boys I agree

See also (1) if man earns more, they should have joint finances (2) if woman earns more, finances should be separate

I think you both need to sit down and work out what the total outgoings for bills is each month and work out from that what you should be paying.
If you end up including the mortgage on this then maybe your name should also be added.
Myself and my husband sit down every few months (especially in the current climate when bills are rising) and work out what we both should be paying into our joint account monthly to cover all our bills.
We work it out fairly (as my husband earns more) so we both have the same amount left for personal use once everything has been paid.

Indeed and there was quite a long thread a,few days .urging women to.have a hidden running away fund just in case
If a man had a hidden account with a significant amount of money in it just in case it would be financial abuse .

I'd probably be questioning what type of man he is given he has taken your money knowing that it covers more than a proportionate 50% of the living costs.

I would not be certain this relationship should go much further with someone this dishonest.

Could you link us to this thread?

Where it was unacceptable for him to benefit in any way from living with her?

Only? I've never seen a thread remotely like this on here. I'd love to read it.

Ask him for discussion on finances. Tell him you make barely no profit on your house that is rented. Ask him what all household bills are. Then offer to pay half. Pay less electric unless he pays half of your petrol.

If you're paying towards his mortgage then you have a claim on his property. So I'd put a claim to see how quickly he reduces your monthly amount. I would also dump him because I couldn't be with someone who uses me financially.

Up to you in the end. I don't think you are being overcharged given the amounts.

https://www.stephensons.co.uk/site/blog/consumer-law-blog/registering_your_interest_in_a_property#:~:text=The%20initial%20process%20is%20quite,have%20an%20interest%20in%20it.

Im not sure that's right as surely any lodger or tenant would have a claim
?
Or is it just because the Op.is a,women you think.she should have a claim.on the property if the sex,s were reversed would the man have a claim in the property?

Is it his recent changes to tariffs/services that’s promoted your questions?

Tbh I’m questioning why you’ve only recently found out that the bills total £800? Surely that was part of the conversation before you moved in and arrived at a figure that you would contribute.

have you spoken to him about why he’s reducing bills? Do you know by how much they’ve increased over the last year or so? Is he attempting to offset some costs against cheaper deals. For all you know (on the little information you’ve provided here - understandably so) he’s already contributing more to cover the cost of running an EV but the basic cost has increased enough that covering the bills, even with your contribution, requires some restructuring to keep it at the same level.

On the face of it, I don’t think you’re being treated unfairly here but unless you actually sit down, talk to him and arm yourself with the facts rather than speculation.

Just split the bills down the middle as and when they come in rather than a flat rate per month.

But this isn't a flat share

I do the bills for my house and he pays £225 towards bills each month -all bills being around £460.
I do an annual check of bills and recalculate it going forward. But month to month I may switch around suppliers or take day sky cinema for a 6 month promo deal. I don't adjust him up/down every month!

He may pay say £25 too much but £25 "profit" for me is a a tiny amount in the scheme of things. (He pays no rent)

If he objected to that, he can try and find somewhere else for £225 per month!

(He also pays £200pm toward food bills /meals out which we both stick on joint card and I do a true up every 6 months as it is a boring chore to do, analysing all spending on joint cards)

@x2boys the problem in the reverse is that the man always already has full claim in the property and the women don't, often not on the deeds or the mortgage, nor married.

Her DP was managing financially before she moved in. They didn't get a new place together, yet somehow he thinks it's fine to profit from her.

I don't think the OP should have to pay any "rent" (or contribution to his mortar) at all - the payments are the same regardless of whether she lives there or not.

She also has no legal rights as she would in a rental situation ie he could boot her out at any time!

OP should be going halves on all household bills and I would also say contributing to any household maintenance that arises from general wear and tear eg say a boiler needed repair/replacement.

But she absolutely should NOT be contributing to paying off his mortgage the cheeky fucker!

*mortgage not mortar!

I meant in reverse as in if it was the women when owned the property not the man .

She has her own separate property which she lets out for a profit. She can do this because she moved in with him. They both profit from living together.