Is my opinion on what is obese wrong?

[Thewheelweavesasthewheelwills]

This is me recently on a family day out at a big park which I was fit enough for.

I know I need to lose some weight and I have finally started to eat better. I got into a terrible habit of eating way too much chocolate when cluster feeding on the couch and didn't stop! I am now watching what I eat. I hate cal counting but I think I need to for a while to make myself accountable. I am aiming to lose about a stone.

Anyway, my app says I am obese. I would have said I was over weight yes but not obese. But I read on here a lot that we all have the wrong idea of what is overweight/ obese these days so maybe I was deluding myself?

YABU - you are obese, that is what it looks like
YANBU - you are not obese just a little fat

But please bear in mind so are pretty much all of the England rugby team!

I just checked forat back and forst ront players showing on Emgland rubgy team list an 1 is very very slightly overweight, 1 is healthy. I don't have time to check all but I strongly suspect just from pics, that none will end up as BMI obese

Sorry for typos

Quite a few of the BMI calculators - including I think the WHO one, are clear that BMI isn’t relevant to pregnant or breastfeeding women who often carry more fat for all the reasons! If you’re losing weight + are able to be active with your family I’d let that go and crack on!

This is what I came to say. (Probably should have read the rest of the comments before shooting off about BMI but it is a bit of trigger for me for some reason ) BMI does not work for everyone. It's just a really basic category but even that said I cannot believe you fit in the obese category that boggles my mind.
I work in a gym that does body scanning so have seen alot. You look\sound about the same size as me but I have much more of a belly and I am in the "overweight" category (at this moment).
It doesn't really work. A body builder and a ballerina the same height would both be considered athletic but very different BMIs but for women in general it's just a pain tbh. I have big boobs and hips (genuinely big boned) which skews it. Then there is water weight which changes drastically at different times of the day , not to mention different times of the month! Like you I have put on fat in the early days of being a mum but if I cranked up my old gym routine now I know I would probably gain muscle at the same rate as loosing fat. So weight stays the same, therefore BMI stays the same despite being healthier.

I have found it much more useful to find out body fat/muscle mass/visceral fat as an indication of health. I know it's not super healthy to obsess over the numbers so don't do it all the time but I try and do every 3 months to see what's going on.

I'm obese, my BMI is 33.1 according to my scales app which is pretty high. I'm on & off weight loss journeys, taken a break right now due to a MMC but I'm 5'3 so I should be like 20-30 lbs lighter, im around a size 12-14 and carry it well (175lb)

You are exactly the same height and weight I was after I had my son in June 2022. I was still carrying covid weight when I fell pregnant and wasn’t happy with my weight at all. I’ve always been the top end of the bmi scale and was a bit critical then so I knew I needed to get myself out of the obese category- just being in it was enough to spur me on. I didn’t like the title at all, even if it was just a medical one. I’m not about half a stone out of being at the top end of the healthy bmi range and honestly I do see and feel the difference in a lot of ways not just my physical size.

I think a lot of people are disillusioned to think they feel and look good at a size that classifies them as overweight or obese etc, carrying that extra weight both. We tend to forget that it’s actually the visceral fat we need to be most concerned about not the fat that makes us feel good in our clothes.

I was the same as you, I was kind to myself I said I just had a baby and are breastfeeding but knew I couldn’t stay that way and expect to be healthy in the long run.

@Thewheelweavesasthewheelwills Agree with the poster who said you have an overall nice shape, you look curvy and strong so don’t beat yourself up, if you feel you need to shift a bit of extra ballast it won’t take long and also you’ll feel the better for it in terms of mobility and strength. You can see you’ve exercised a lot in the past, it’s the legs and bum.

I also agree that you look to be the sort of shape that would respond well (and quickly) to exercise. You could have a banging bod inside a few months, I am a similar build and started small (long walks with the pram and twenty minutes exercise four days a week transformed me after DD2). There are some great exercise programmes on YouTube for post-baby.

I know it sounds trite but we don’t always see the beauty in ourselves. I remember my old granny saying to me when I was in my twenties and wishing I was thin (I was a nice shapely 12, what a clown I was) that she wished she’d known how lovely she was, she was born in 1920 and always gave herself a hard time because she was ‘fat’ (she wasn’t at all). I think lots of women would be happy to wake up with your build.

I would certainly not look at you and think obese. Maybe slightly overweight, if that. As PPs have said it a medical term but it sounds awful! When I think obese I think huge, not a few pounds overweight.

I would hazard a guess that the OP is neither a body builder nor rugby player, and doesn’t look like someone with breasts that would skew the BMI for women.

The fact that there are ‘outliers’ with particular circumstances doesn’t negate BMI as an indicator, amongst many, of healthy weight.

It isn’t an excuse for me to look at my BMI, say ‘nah, MN says it doesn’t work for body builders and other people nothing like me, what a load of bollocks’ and head for the ice cream tub.

If the calculation says you're obese OP then you are. But for what it's worth, you don't look humongous or anything, I wouldn't look at you and think you're obese. But medically speaking, yes, you are. It's not a subjective thing, it's very purpose is to be an objective measures, because research shows the majority of people are unable to identify their weight category. Loads of people who are overweight think they're normal, loads of people who are obese think they're just overweight, and so forth. And as we grow bigger as a nation our perception becomes ever more skewed because we look around and see everyone else being the same size.

It feels to me like the media has taken a medical term that should carry no implicit moral or value judgement, added a load of unhelpful connotations and associated images and ideas, and used it as one of several tools in features and programmes intended to shock and disgust people (and to almost "other" the obese as those awful people over there, not you, you're probably fine, keep watching our content, it's not about you, it's them that's the problem).

I probably look more like the women in the photos that come up on your search, so I know that when serious medical experts are on my TV or radio discussing obesity, it's information that concerns me (and to a greater extent than for those who are only just obese, because where the individual risks of health concerns really ramp up is as you get towards morbidly obese, hence the name). But the twisting and misrepresentation of the meaning of the term means that lots of people who fit in that category are misled into thinking it doesn't apply to them, and they're left in the dark. The extreme negative valence the word has gained means people are horrified, upset and may even deny it if they're informed that they're categorised as obese.

IMO the way the media has used "obese" over the last couple of decades fucks over both people who are only just inside the category, like you, and people who are well inside it, like me.

The numbers say you're in the obese category. Okay, that's a necessary but essentially arbitrary medical category used for population purposes as well as some limited aspects of individual healthcare etc. It's the same as if the numbers said you were hypertensive, or hypothyroid. The line is drawn in whatever place, worked out by researchers and statisticians, and it may be useful information for you and any medical professionals who need to help you. It's no fucker else's concern or business.

If it helps, you could repeat the word "obese" to yourself for a minute, concentrating on the way it sounds, until it starts to feel like the random collection of awkward mouth sounds signifying a once-abstruse Latinate medical term that it really is?

But I agree with above posts saying that the fact you're breastfeeding is relevant — I'm not convinced those lines were drawn with recent pregnancy and lactating breasts in mind.

BMI is just a guide but it’s recognised that it’s very outdated and should be changed.

It also depends on how tall you are, how big your boobs are and if you’re muscular.

My friend is a size 8 with a flat stomach and A cup boobs but because she’s short and lifts weight her BMI is overweight.
Her GP even told her she was overweight (by simply just looking at the BMI chart) and perhaps her health issues would reduce if she were to lose weight. She told them that when she was a size 6 she was even less healthy as she had hardly any energy and even her periods stopped, so losing weight is not the answer.

I don’t weigh myself anymore.

If you recognise that you need to lose weight then carry on eating healthy and exercising, don’t get too hung up on your BMI as you don’t look obese at all.

If you're not willing to accept BMI as accurate - it's not perfect but it's a pretty good indicator - then go and get your body fat measured.

People who are obese do have increased risk factors, which is why it is useful to use BMI and other tools in a healthcare context.

but at ops weight and height she isn’t a “few pounds overweight” she would need to lose at least 2 stone+ to get back to a healthy bmi.

BMI is only accurate for white men. It’s wrong for everyone else. The truth is for young women having a bmi from 26-32 might even have a protective effect when retaining muscle into old age.

I looked a bit like you when I was in the obese zone too, OP.

Am now managing to stay in the overweight zone but have only been back in normal BMI once since I had DD2 (in 2009!) with a very low calorie low carb diet that I couldn't maintain for longer than a few weeks.

My height to waist measurement ratio is now at least normal/healthy/below the risk area for diabetes. And actually my weight is a few kg lower now than it was ten years ago when I was 38 - so going from age 38 to 48 actually losing weight is pretty good going as most people put weight on. I go to the gym three times a week and do weights and cardio, plus do a yoga class and try and walk as much as possible, with dog or otherwise.

I might be actually in the healthy weight range by the time I get to the other side of menopause!

I think establishing good habits generally, plenty of exercise, good food, being careful with alcohol and caffeine is much better than dieting though the changes are much more gradual.

At the same time I've been going to the gym regularly now since the local one opened at the end of November last year and I can see in photos it has made a difference, also I feel fitter and have more energy, which is not to be sniffed at in my last 40s. Recently got my virtual 75 visits badge.

Sorry, but I think all the photos posted on here look obese. I think people do kid themselves sometimes. However, you are doing something about it OP & you’ve just had a baby, so go easy on yourself.

BMI is not a great indication of whether an individual is actually obese, since it only accounts for height and weight and nothing else. You look a bit overweight, yes, but I would not subjectively think “that woman is obese” if I saw you at the park.

Just keep up the exercise and eating better and try not to worry about what the BMI calculator says!

When I’ve been my thinnest and wearing a size 10, I’m still per BMI only just under the overweight range, so I put very little stock in its categories.

As PPs have said, obesity isn't an opinion. It's a medical term for people of a certain height/weight ratio. It isn't a judgement and it doesn't mean ugly, stupid or anything like that. You can be smart, successful, beautiful, lovable, charming and obese.

It's not total bollocks but it is a crude measure. We all know the All Blacks etc are obese. If your BMI has been skewed because you are extremely and uncommonly muscular, you'll know. It's not a death sentence and it should be taken into account along with other factors such as body fat percentage, waist measurement etc.

It's also nowhere near as big as a lot of people think, as you now know! We seem always to think of extreme morbid obesity, but a BMI of 30 - which is where obesity starts - is definitely not enormous.

My BMI says I'm underweight. I'm not. It's nonsense and it's considered to be quite an outdated method of measurement.

I could literally put a stone on and would ALL go on my stomach/middle. The one area we're told to avoid fat.

But if I did that, my BMI would say I was perfect.

BMI is only accurate for white men. It’s wrong for everyone else.

I don't think that's true any more. Things have moved on. Why does the NHS calculator ask for your age, sex and ethnicity if not to take account of that in the calculation?

It’s not about what you look like. Obviously you look overweight and not obese but it’s also about visceral fat and the implications it has on your health. Obesity increases the risk of so many horrible health conditions.

ypu do not look bad, but if your bmi indicates that you are obese, then you are. It is not to shame you about your looks.

You look great!

The NHS website states -

The term obese describes a person who has excess body fat.

So yes you are obese.

Doesn't mean you are unattractive, it's just a medical fact.

You have recognised that for a time you were eating too much chocolate and are now eating healthier.

Don't let a word depress you, you are on the right path to become healthier.

Nailed it on the first response here!

The reality is (according to ONS) something like 26% people are obese, and 38% are overweight. Above age 25, more than half the population is either overweight or obese. So it is "normal" to be that size and you wouldn't look unusually heavy - and as PP, it doesn't mean you're unattractive - but regardless, medically, you would be overweight/obese.

I think the word obese conjures up people who are significantly bigger than the normal - but that is not actually what it means. Not helped by media imagery around obesity usually using stock images of super morbidly obese people.

So OP, I think you look fine, and normal, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't be probably healthier at a lower weight. And I think it's admirable that you're trying to improve your eating habits when also looking after a tiny DC!!