Is my opinion on what is obese wrong?

[Thewheelweavesasthewheelwills]

This is me recently on a family day out at a big park which I was fit enough for.

I know I need to lose some weight and I have finally started to eat better. I got into a terrible habit of eating way too much chocolate when cluster feeding on the couch and didn't stop! I am now watching what I eat. I hate cal counting but I think I need to for a while to make myself accountable. I am aiming to lose about a stone.

Anyway, my app says I am obese. I would have said I was over weight yes but not obese. But I read on here a lot that we all have the wrong idea of what is overweight/ obese these days so maybe I was deluding myself?

YABU - you are obese, that is what it looks like
YANBU - you are not obese just a little fat

That's a 'Misses' pattern. They were designed for young women who had not finished growing and hadn't had children.

As far as I can tell, if someone looks visibly, identifiably overweight to the average pair of 21st century eyes, then there's a good chance that by BMI standards they'd count as obese. Someone who's in the overweight category would often just look pretty ordinary and average, especially if middle-aged — might not get considered slim or lean or slender, but often wouldn't register as overweight to many of us.

It bugs me that any time there's a news article on obesity rates, they drag out the same stock footage of headless morbidly obese people holding a bag of chips. Even now, it's relatively unusual in most parts of British society to be that extremely overweight. On a societal level, the real demographic/medical obesity timebomb they're talking about when they discuss obesity rates consists of the very large numbers of obese people who don't look anything like that, and therefore don't think of themselves as obese. The type of footage that TV stations often choose as illustration doesn't help.

@ShirleyPhallus I do think BMI is a good starting point. Doing the calculator on the NHS website I don't think I will ever be able to be in the 'normal' category. I'd need to lose 3.5 stone

@Intriguedbythis I'm using the NHS BMI calculator so don't think it is wrong. I am 5'4 and 13.5 stone

We often see pictures of people who are morbidly obese described as obese thet I believe that affects our view on what obese looks like. In reality the line between overweight and obese is very fine.

The most important thing is that you have decided to take steps to eating more healthily. You do look like an apple shape, so any weight you lose from your middle is going to be good for your health. Regarding the "obese" label I would say possibly you might be just into that. I am currently just into "overweight" on the NHS bmi calculator and I am quite a bit slimmer than your photos, but a definite pear shape so different fat distribution.

My boobs are now a 34HH according to boob or bust. But I am still breastfeeding

Oh, op, you're breastfeeding! Put the scales in the loft until your baby is at least starting solids.

When you're breastfeeding it's normal to have water retention, sugar cravings, engorged breasts etc. You're nourishing a baby.

You look great but even if you didn't, that's just not the most important thing for this brief window of time imo.

I lost a lot of water retention weight in the first few weeks post partum but then didn't shift the remaining baby weight till my dd was at least a year old. I think my body was deliberately retaining reserve fat to help me breastfeed and so I didn't lose it until she was taking a lot of solids.

@off I think that's very true, that we do have a skewed view of what is obese based on what we see in the media. Even when I google 'obese woman' a woman like me does not come up, a very different sized woman does. Something similar to what someone said earlier about the 600lb show.

I must be one of those people who have "lost sight of a healthy weight" because you look fine to me. I mean if you aren't happy with yourself then that's obviously your business but I can't imagine a single person (apart from posters on MN) looking at you and thinking, cor, she's a porker.

I voted YABU simply because you look like me and my BMI is 31 and I'm obese. I don't think I look enormous but I do clearly need to lose weight.

You've just had a baby so you need to be patient with yourself. Focus on small changes that are easy to make and building good habits. Then worry about the scales down the line.

(As you can probably guess, I did not take my own advice )

Thanks, that is actually very nice to hear 😁

I'm not really unhappy with my appearance. I would like to lose weight on my tummy mostly and to be back into a size 12. I ended up having and EMCS and the shelf does bother me if I'm honest but what can you do, I delivered a healthy baby and was safe myself so a shelf isn't a big price!

But in general no I don't look in the mirror and think you big blob! I just wondered is that's what other people thought when they saw me and that DH was too kind to say anything.

I was classed as obese at size 14 too. It shocked me too. What also shocked me was to find out I was pre-diabetic.

It has to do with fat around your organs, percentage of fat in relation to your muscles, activity levels etc. rather than distribution of fat. Mine was distributed pretty evenly too, which is why it shocked me.

You look obese to me but that is only because I have a similar figure to yours and I know that I am clinically obese. Having now seen your height and weight, that is right. I am a little shorter than you and a little lighter.

I think one of the problems with the word 'obese' is, as others have said, that it covers a huge range, from people like you and me to someone who is morbidly obese. When they think of 'obese' most people think of the latter. When I told a couple of close friends that I was obese they didn't believe me.

I am class 1 obese which is low risk. If I lost 12 pounds, I would be overweight rather than obese and that is my current goal. Longer term I would like to be in the 'healthy range' for which I'd need to lose another couple of stone.

@JenniferBarkley yes little things. I have become an absolute terror with chocolate and I wasn't even that big of a fan of it before having DS. This week though I haven't gone cold turkey with the shopping, I bought just enough for 1 treat a day with my afternoon cuppa along with sugar free jelly for in the evening. What little things are you changing?

Didn’t even hit page 2 before the body builder comment came out. I wish people would actually research BMI. There will be anomalies. Like with any algorithm. If you weigh x you are likely to be obese. It’s fact. There will be exceptions. Parading those exceptions doesn’t make the likely scenario less true. The op clearly isn’t a body builder.

This 👆

@Mummy08m I put 4st on in my 1st pregnancy. I went from size 10 to 14/16. When I couldn’t get off the floor without propping myself up I decided that was the time to do something about it.DC was only a couple of months old and I was bf.

It’s very easy to reach for a quick fix like a biscuit (or 2 or 5) when you have a velcro baby.
Breastfeeding doesn’t mean you can’t modify your diet.
I reduced the portions and cut off all processed foods (which have little to none nutrition value)My weight was going down and baby calmed down a bit (guess less sugar more nutrients).
Grilled or steamed fish and meat, lots of fruit and veg, reduced carbs (1 slice of wholemeal bread, some boiled potatoes).
No confectionery,chips,pizza or anything out of the packet.

In less than a year I lost 3st.

The combination of BFing and broken sleep made me an absolute fiend for anything with sugar. I think it was just exhaustion tbh. Don't be too hard on yourself. I found getting out for a walk and doing some yoga helped me on maternity leave, but you know yourself, some days you're on your knees. Don't be hard on yourself.

My babies are 5 and 3 now so the time for excuses has long passed . I'm trying to stop snacking during the day and up my activity levels, but I'm in a very different place to you. You need to be kind to yourself and do what needs to be done to put one foot in front of the other.

So from your pictures I would say you look fit and strong but are probably classed as obese just like many mums with young children. But please bear in mind so are pretty much all of the England rugby team! The hospital I worked at had to change day surgery unit guidance because extremely fit people were not fitting the obesity criteria.

Looks like you have had a baby in the past year or 2. I'm slim, but when I'm pregnant and after, my bmi shoots right up (even with hyperemesis, my body holds onto fat especially on my arms in pregnancy and I put on 15kg in last pregnancy whilst being very sick). This is what's supposed to happen so you can feed baby etc. I have no idea what my bmi gets to (hv told me to eat an extra jacket potato a day and put on weight to breastfeed my 99th centile baby), I've never worked it out, I've just started doing couch 2 5k each time until I'm slimmer and happier to find out. I wasn't slim when she gave me that advice, probably bmi of 28 (usually 23) but she thought i was dropping weight too fast.

So... don't stress about the label- it's more the long-term thing that matters. Cut down sugary and fatty foods, get healthy etc. Good luck. The fact you're aware is a great starting point. You've got this. :-)

I'm 9 stone 5, 5 ft 2 and on the cusp of being overweight at a size 8-10. Our perception is massively skewed and you look completely "normal" - but 26% of adults ARE obese and 38% are overweight - and I would bet a significant proportion of the remaining 36% are either very young adults, from ethnic groups with small bone structures or above average height so there is a little more leeway to gain half a stone and still be a healthy weight.

Whether it matters or not is a different question. Your body is clearly an amazing tool, enabling you not only to sustain life but to bring life into the world, to move around enjoying a day out, to wear sports clothes and feel the warm sun on your skin.

Change your snacks to things that are healthy and satiating, and wait to actively lose weight until you're done breastfeeding. It was practically impossible for me to lose weight while feeding for the first year. Once my dc were eating actual meals and I was down to feeding less than 5 times a day, my body could then cope with weight loss. It dropped off quickly then, but before that - no chance. Give yourself a break, you'll get there.

The issue is that many people now associate the term 'obese' as being someone who is very exceptionally overweight, when that's not actually where the line is; being obese in BMI terms isn't the same as it is in most peoples minds. This happens to a lot of words to be honest, I wouldn't feel bad but as you recognise its good to get within the ideal range, but take it slow and steady- your body has done an amazing thing!

You look like me. I’m a proper size 12/14 and my bmi is 33. Having a waspy waist and hips does tend to hide things. I would def say you would benefit from losing some weight. But what that ideal weight is is different for everyone. For me, personally, being BMI 26/27 is ideal

THIS all day long.

How do you feel? Do you feel strong, happy? Do you enjoy the food you eat? Do you exercise because it makes you feel good, and have a varied diet? Is your mental health good? These are the things I focus on.

I look pretty much the same shape and I'm also obese.