Life insurance - stepchild.

[Organisedchaos2]

Hi
have my own DC and a Step DC.
they are loved equally in every way.
step DC mum lost custody of them when they were a baby via social services.
unfortunately The sudden passing of ex DP has been challenging for all involved and there is now a custody battle going on.
there is an inheritance including a house which the bulk was left to myself - who they also had left guardianship to.
long term we do not know what will happen with DSC.
regarding the money however their mother would like me to put it in a trust fund, she doesn’t want me to refuse my part because then it would be split equally between the others listed and wouldn’t help step DC out either apart from some would go to his part but not all.
however I’m now a single mum on universal credits as well as working and so this would potentially mean I would lose all help from universal credits ?
they are of course furious but I am not doing it out of spite. I will of course try anyway I can but I can’t survive without UC if I put the whole money in to a trust fund !
an I in the wrong and should I find another way to survive ?

@JudgeJ 1-2 times a month max in contact centre.
she used to pay here and there but not consistent but hasn’t since DP passed.

I know this might seem random, and apologies if you think it out of line @Organisedchaos2 but do make sure you have claimed bereavement support payment.

A lot of people don’t realise that the law has changed and you don’t have to have been married if you have children or are pregnant when your partner died.

It also doesn’t affect other benefits, like UC, for a certain time frame as well.

Will they? 🤔

This is such a hard situation OP. You are doing everything you can.

Sorry for your loss OP - it sounds awful.

the fact that the birth mother is threatening you with no seeing your DSC again if she gets custody, despite you being his ‘mother’ and there all his life, is utterly chilling. This is not about her wanting her child back, but just about the money / punishing you.

you are being a fabulous person and she really really is the worst. Please stop being amenable to her. Keep the money, keep the dsc and BM and family can piss off.

OP - no practical advice, but feel for you and you sound like an amazing and caring person.
Has your solicitor advised you of your chances of retaining custody? Have you got step parental responsibility?

That makes perfect sense.

I know it’s extremely difficult, but I would try and compartmentalise the two issues. The money is the money and you need to do what’s right for you and your children with regards to that.

And then the stepchild is entirely separate, it would be highly unusual in everything I’ve ever seen or read for a child to be relocated from the home, it’s known from a tiny age, unless you gave them up. Children need stability and the family court does at least support that.

Sorry for your loss
Stay strong
https://www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment

Thank you for all the advice - I will go forward with how I originally planned.
thank you.