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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL argument

5 replies

MsProbably · 08/08/2023 21:37

My SIL is the sort of woman who takes being called a force of nature a compliment- she’s tempestuous, overbearing, full on - fun sometimes, moody swingy often but definitely the ‘family manager’. my DH has always felt pushed about by her but tries to set boundaries in ways that I can seem petty from the outside.

we had a big bust up tonight when we suggested 3 days as a family together was enough and didn’t need to extend it for an extra few days to visit Gma - had been with Gpa previously. She explodes, deeply insulted and though we tried to say it was no big deal but best to leave in a high we’ve definitely come out the bad guys. I thought she was miserable with us but she claims she wasn’t. Don’t know how to play it from here… I argue with my sisters fairly often and it never gets down to the big horrible question of whether your actually LIKE each other - but when the fundamental thing is that you don’t… what do you do? I guess AIBU to say that having time limits on family holidays is good?

OP posts:
Pottomous2 · 07/10/2023 21:41

You need time limits. Holidays can’t just go on and on , especially with family as people get sick of each other.

Jamjaris · 08/12/2023 06:35

I would tell her that she can’t dictate how long you stay for Christmas and if she won’t back down I would tell her you don’t like manipulation and it’s not all about her.

ModeWeasel · 08/12/2023 06:39

Time limits are fine. Buy are you saying you only visited one parent? What is gma and gpa?

determinedtomakethiswork · 08/12/2023 06:45

It sounds like three days with her would be more than enough

olympicsrock · 08/12/2023 07:10

I think your approach is very sensible. She has strop all she likes. “I’m afraid that doesn’t work for us”

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