Children running around restaurant WWYD?

[AutisticLegoLover]

Please could you tell me what you'd do in this situation:

In a hotel restaurant at breakfast there were two young children about age 4 running around and screeching. It wasn't clear where the parents/adults were that they were with. They were eating while running in front of guests who were carrying hot drinks and food from the breakfast buffet and going up to other tables and carrying on their screeching.

What would you do in this situation?

@Tibbb upthread I answered the same question to someone else.

So why do you need to chase them then?

Back in the day adults use to be able to tell children off who aren't their parents

You're coming across as quite aggressive in the posts
That explains your wish to kick peoples teeth in

OP I'm sorry the member of staff put you in that position, that was really unfair! They absolutely could have asked the parent to keep the children close!

The mum loudly said how it's wonderful that children are happy and healthy and having fun

Had that same scenario recently when two women were spoken to about their 4 children running around and screaming (I've always thought people were exaggerating when they say that but it was literally in circles in the space next to the toilets!)
Both women looked over at our table where my son was quietly eating chicken nuggets and watching bluey on his tablet and then loudly saying "come sit down kids, some people clearly think kids should be glued to screens instead of up and active" and "sit down, don't talk, don't breathe, I think people want you to be little robots".
we always take a bag of supplies when we eat out and DC rarely reaches for the tablet as he prefers to ask 938373651 questions about what he can see going on around him. This time he was knackered and starving after swimming and I'd decided he needed to eat before we spent an hour on the bus getting home (because he'd fall asleep and end up not having dinner and then wake up ravenous at 4.30...been there!).... I don't even know why I feel like I need to justify it because I'm 100% confident my parenting is better than theirs anyway!

I remember when mine were young (and well-behaved!) we always used to be restricted to a 'family room' - usually a dreary, characterless extension of the pub/hotel when eating. I wish this was the case now.

Parents would have a choice: if your children are old enough or quiet and house-trained enough to sit in the main area, fine. If they are fidgety or noisy and want to walk around then in the family room you go. Simple!

But children just shouldn't be wandering - let alone running - in any restaurant. It's rude, annoying and most of all, downright dangerous to them and others.

I can't understand why anyone, other diners or the restaurant staff and management, tolerate it.

This thread took a turn rather quickly

I'm going to draft an email to them later today.

It was deliberately derailed

Good luck!

I'm so sick of feral kids ruining even the most basic of experiences.

Exactly, this issue is a UK thing.
Elsewhere parents have the sense to provide a variety of ways for kids to burn off energy, do fun things outside, set boundaries.

I agree with a pp earlier...

If your children really do need to run around all the time (eye roll) then someone needs to take them outside to let off steam. They need to understand what's appropriate and considerate behaviour, and the dining room is not the place for boisterousness and noise. I remember doing this and taking turns with my husband or the grandparents if they got stir-crazy in a restaurant. It's NOT OK to use 'Kids will be kids' as an excuse to ruin other people's experience.

Sure, children need to be children but adults can help them to be appropriate...but sadly they are often too selfish to parent and quite oblivious to the effect it's having on others.

As with dogs, so with children - it's not their fault but usually that of their negligent owners/parents if they're out of control.

I'm guessing by the offer to segregate you you told them you are autistic? I've found I'm dismissed if I mention autism. I bet if you had just complained presenting as a NT they would have dealt with it appropriately

Why?

Good luck @AutisticLegoLover

Despite one aggressive poster, most of us agree with you. The other parent behaved atrociously, substituting aggression towards you for actual parenting.

And the hotel’s manager behaved extremely unprofessionally. And in a very ableist way, suggesting you be quarantined, not the badly-behaved family.

The member of staff should have approached the parent not-parenting, and suggested that they might be more comfortable having breakfast elsewhere in the hotel.

I hope you get a good outcome from your emailed complaint. You might want to think about what you want in response to your email. It can help make a complaint more effective.

I feel sorry for restaurant/waiting staff who each day have to deal with badly behaved kids and their obnoxious parents.

I’d make my very-scary-eyes face at the little buggers - the one dds used to beg me to do - and then squeal and hide behind the sofa cushions.😈

With very few exceptions, most parents would feel embarrassed if another person has to reprimand their children. Those who take offence aggressively are either stupid or compensating for their own inadequacies by bullying others.

I've often said a mild but firm "Ooh, be careful - you're going to bump into someone," and got a dirty look. I think with some parents their own fragile egos are so tied up with their children that they can't even take this kind of restrained comment. But why this has happened - any suggestions? I don't think it was always like this. It's that old chestnut 'entitlement', but where has it come from? I wasn't brought up to think it's OK bother other people.

We were on holiday a few years ago and there were kids on those micro scooters scooting round the restaurant. Unbelievable!!!
We tend to avoid places with feral kids now mine are older but I had no issues telling other peoples kids off previously.

Only one option. Sweep their legs as they go past.

Seriously though feral kids are annoying, I sympathise OP.

How horrible that he did this.

Bellaboo01
How horrible that he did this.

Well yes, but saying that's the easy bit. Few pps are seriously advocating physical retaliation.

What would you suggest should have happened in that situation? My view is that the hopeless parent should have taken the unruly children out of the film. Or, if they hadn't the consideration to do that, then that management should have been alerted and asked them to leave. To allow them to think their behaviour was OK was bad for everyone, perhaps the children most of all.

I haven't tripped any kids up but I have stood my ground when an our-of-control child has run towards me and then made a passive-aggressive fuss about how aggrieved I was. The look on their faces when they crash into you - clearly they even expect people to move out of their way so they can misbehave!

I wish businesses would have a "Well-behaved children welcome" policy, with smaller print warning that parents must supervise their children at all times and not allow them to leave their seats unless accompanied in restaurants and cinemas.

But it's OK - I know this isn't going to happen. Businesses are struggling and they're cynically tolerating all kinds of rubbish and managing the situation by letting other customers take the strain.

(Before anyone mentions ND children - I had one! And I can spot the difference between this and feral behaviour. I've sat in a pub close to a parent with a severely autistic child and that was fine by me - it was clear what the situation was because in these cases the parent is usually on the case and often stressed. You can see they're doing their best and you want the child to have as good a time as possible. They're not likely to be on their phones or getting drunk and ignoring their offspring - that's the give-away IME.)

How sad he felt he had to

People doing the usual 'British people just HATE children' should realise that in other countries it's seen as perfectly acceptable for waiting staff, other adults etc to tell your children off or tell them to sit down sharpish.